For your updated list of certainties in life, we have the preeminent “death and taxes”, Tiger and Federer winning, and rounding things out, J.D. Drew getting injured. That’s right, in 8 major league seasons, J.D. Drew has never failed to hit the DL at least once in a year (until ‘06). In fact, D.L. Drew has never played more than 146 games in a year. For perspective, the perpetually plagued Ken Griffey Jr. has surpassed the 146 game figure 6 times in his career.Â

Despite all this detail, I never expected the email I received yesterday to creep into my inbox. Forwarded from a colleague of my sister (who is currently stationed in New York oddly enough) was this gem:

“Hey everyone, it’s that time finally. As many of you know the Red Sox recently signed JD Drew for a disgusting amount of money despite his long history of injuries. Obviously, huge numbers of Sox fans have been very unhappy about this signing, while at the same time Yankees fans are overjoyed that he’s getting $70 million over the next five years. And since his injuries are inevitable, we may as well make them interesting. Welcome to the pool. For just five bucks you can make your prediction on when he gets hurt, and if you’re right, the pot is yours. Just on word of mouth we’re already up to about $50 for the winner, so join in and get the prize up even higher. And don’t be shy about forwarding this to every baseball fan you know. Anyone can join.”

Well, that is exactly what I’m doing. They have actually set up 2 separate pools.

1. When will J.D. go down?   Only his first trip to the DL will be included in this pool. Any subsequent trips are only counted in the second pool. Here’s the caveat: The official date that will be used to determine the winner is the date they announce him going to the DL. So if he gets put on the DL retroactive to another day, it is the day they announce it.
2. How long will J.D. be hurt? Predict how many games Drew actually plays (the original plan was to see how many days he’d spend hurt, but it’s too hard to track between the days he doesn’t play and the days he’s actually on the DL). The official number will come from JD Drew’s page on http://www.redsox.com/.

For the record, between fantasy baseball and all, I know D.L. Drew pretty well. In fact, I know him well enough to say that I don’t think he’ll be on the DL this year. I’m going with D.L. playing 138 games this year - he’ll just sit out his typical 1 game a week to make my total.Â

Submit a comment below if you want to go on record with your prediction, and indicate if you want in on the $5 entry fee and I’ll forward along the info.

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Apparently performing at half time of the Pacers/Pistons game on Sunday was a married couple called the Quick Change Artists - a notable improvement from the SWAT team or Michigan militia.  As you might guess, their talent is an ability to change clothes mulitiple times in short intervals.  I’m not sure if you just wake up one day and say “I want to be the fastest married couple at changing clothes in the world,” but it seems as if this couple has perfected the skill. 

Not that you, or I, or anyone else would have seen it, but apparently the group performed in the reality show, “America’s Got Talent.”  Check it out below, it’s actually somewhat cool (besides, anything that starts out with a shot of the Hoff is always an instant winner):  

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According to an article passed along to me by the legendary John Ramey that appeared in the San Francisco Chronicle,

“In North Carolina, four men are collecting signatures for a petition that would seek national-holiday status for the Super Bowl.”

 This is bleepin’ brilliant!  

Seriously, it’s news items like this that make you wonder what we’ve been thinking the past 40 years. 

“That official day off would be observed on a Monday, in the grand American tradition of the three-day weekend — and in recognition of the debilitating Sunday excess of unhealthy food, strong beverage, televised sporting violence, relentless commercialism and not a small amount of gambling. No need to call in sick if the office is closed.”

If you are a man, and you are not in favor of this, you need to relocate your nut sack.  If you are a woman, and you are not in favor of this, you need a man in your life.   

To join the cause, visit SuperBowlMonday.com and sign the petition. 

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So Jerry Rice has just come out with a book titled “Go Long!  My Journey Beyond the Game and the Fame.”  As if we didn’t see him enough when he was on Dancing with the Stars, now he’s on every show in the world publicizing his book.  Can’t blame the guy - who in a sane frame of mind wouldn’t want the greatest wide receiver ever to be a guest on their show?   

Since the San Francisco Treat has been making the rounds, several people have been referring to him as the greatest wide receiver EVER, and potentially the greatest football player ever.  True, he is the all-time leader in receptions, receiving yards, and receiving touchdowns, but I will remain steadfast in my belief that none other than Randy Moss has been more dominant than the perceived greatest wide receiver ever for an extended stretch of time.  Before you call me crazy, witness the numbers:

Jerry Rice’s first 7 years                      Randy Moss’ first 7 years                        

Year    Rec   Rec Yds   Rec TD                Year    Rec     Rec Yds     Rec TD             

1985    49       927         3                           1998   69       1313          17             

1986    86      1570        15                         1999   80       1413          11         

1987    65      1078        22                         2000   77       1437          15

1988    64      1306         9                          2001   82       1233          10

1989    82      1483         17                        2002   106      1347           7

1990   100     1502         13                        2003   111      1632          17          

1991    80      1206         14                        2004    49        767           13

Totals  526   9072         93                  Totals   574     9142         90

*Rice played in 108 games in his first 7 years, Moss played in 109 games in his first 7 years 

Before arriving at the Black Hole that is Oakland, Randy Moss was off to a better start in his career than Jerry Rice.  And 7 years is a significant sample size to measure - it’s not like each of their best 3 years were chosen for the purpose of this comparison.  So before you think of Jerry Rice being that great, I will maintain that Randy Moss was a more dominant receiver for an extended stretch of time than Jerry Rice. 

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So it’s about a day until the Bears and Colts embark for Miami to enjoy the media hump fest that is the week of the Super Bowl.  I’m not sure whether or not this is a good thing or a bad thing, but Bears DT Tank Johnson will be taking time out from his busy schedule of brandishing guns, sharpening knives, and rolling blunts, to make the trip. 

For a guy with a rap sheet longer than Mike McKenzie’s hair, you have to wonder how he’s allowed to play in the game.  Think about it, Tank has been arrested 3 times in the past 18 months (which I guess is tame in comparison to Chris Henry).  His charges include a scuffle with a police officer, a misdeamenor weapons charge, and most recently, 10 counts of possession of firearms without proper ID. 

That being the case, how the heck was he let off?  Why is he allowed to go to Miami on vacation while awaiting trial for some serious offenses? 

Why don’t we turn to Assistant State’s Attorney Rick Cenar for some answers.  According to Cenar, Tank is allowed to go play because the trip is ”work-related.”  Additionally, Cenar noted,

“Quite frankly we treated the defendant Mr. Johnson like any other defendant.” 

Right, he was treated like any other defendant.  Just check out the pictures below and you’ll understand that the treatment by the law enforcement officials in Illinois wasn’t at all preferential.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

See officer, See Tank

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

See officer (presumed Bears fan) congratulate Tank

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

See officer pat Tank on back and wish him well in Super Bowl 

Uh huh, that’s what I thought.

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You remember that game you played back in kindergarden?  You know, that game telephone?  Of course you do.  It went a little something like this - kids are all seated in a circle, teacher whispers some “code phrase” to the first kid, they’re supposed to repeat the phrase to the person sitting next to them, and so on and so forth until the code phrase has come all the way around the circle to be repeated to the teacher by the last student.  Typically the code phrase starts out as something like trucks and blocks, but by the time it’s made a trip around the room, it comes out the other end as something like monkey a** f***.  You get the picture.  

Now it’s expected to have such an extreme lapse in communication when you’re dealing with a group of 5 year olds.  But it would be a little bit harder to picture amongst a group of professional adults.  Or maybe not.  From television station KTBS 3 in Shreveport:

“Rumors that [Terry] Bradshaw, a Shreveport native, had died of a heart attack swept through the area Thursday.  One theory as to how the rumor got started was that a local radio station reported a wreck on the Terry Bradshaw Passway — part of the Inner Loop — and that was misunderstood to say Bradshaw had passed away.”

Regardless of how the rumor was started, we have come to find that Terry is alive and well (or however you describe him), and he was in fact playing golf somewhere in Mexico when all the rumors were started.  Memo to media members: You have a lot of power.  What you decide to broadcast reaches and effects the lives of millions of people.  Is it too much to ask you to check the facts and do some INVESTIGATING journalism before you report things and cause a huge frenzy?   Didn’t think so.  As for the rest of this case…maybe we should examine what life would be like if Terry really had died? 

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