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Saturday, February 25, 2017

Legendary Bulls PA announcer provides greatest wedding intros ever (Video)

Legendary Bulls PA announcer provides greatest wedding intros ever (Video)

It doesn’t matter how much the former public address announcer for the Bulls was paid, it wasn’t enough. Ray Clay delivered and then some for the newly married Jaquettes at their wedding in Colorado over the weekend. “The Turkey” escorting the girl with “the bun in the oven” were easily the MVP’s of the lineup. Hopefully everyone in the audience knew of the pregnancy before Ray Clay spilled those beans.

Not gonna lie though, they definitely could have had a greatest wedding moment of all-time if the groom led a “What time is it? Game time hoo!” chant then proceeded to dunk a baby in the wedding cake. But I guess feeling like Michael Jordan on your wedding day is good enough.

H/T Deadspin

Of course Mike Tyson wrote a song about LeBron James (Video)

Mike Tyson, who hasn’t boxed since losing to Kevin McBride in 2005, is still relevant and still hilarious. Tyson showed off his singing skills on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” Tuesday night by performing his song power ballad about LeBron James. All bets are that Tyson wrote the piece himself and if he didn’t, Jimmy Kimmel and his writers are pure geniuses to dish off the line “LeBron James is great, he makes Cleveland irate” to someone with probable brain damage. At least it’s nice to see the former heavyweight champ doing something constructive with his time that doesn’t involve more pigeons or face tattoos.

Dad inspires/embarrasses son with improvised speech from ‘Miracle’ to get him ready for job interview (Video)

YouTubeTo our beloved Matt,

This is just our way of wishing you the best of luck tomorrow and on all of your future adventures.

We love you!!

Herb Brooks would be proud, I guess? The father you see above did his best impersonation of the 1980 US Olympic Hockey coach (first done by Kurt Russell in the movie “Miracle”) to help inspire his son to land a job, and I’m guessing to get his butt off their couch and move the hell out. There’s nothing like comparing arguably the greatest sporting contest in history — which not only transcended the game of hockey but also worldwide politics — to an entry level copywriting gig. But, hey, to each his own. Mike Eruzione and Don Draper (clutch name drop, Dad) had to start somewhere. If this helped get our beloved Matt the position, more power to him.

Bill Belichick spotted in cut-off sweatshirt and happy face at Celtics-Heat game

"I remember having fun once. It was awful."

Yes, Boston was getting blown away, but does Bill Belichick ever look like he’s enjoying himself? It’s Game 6 of the Eastern Conference Finals, coach. Lighten up a little. It’s not like you’re opening up against LeBron and KG at WR and TE in September and are scouting. No need to cower in your trademarked, cut-off sweatshirt to the point where it makes you look like Warwick Davis from Life’s Too Short. Guess when you’ve won 3 Super Bowl rings you get to pick and choose when you’re having a good time.

H/T Barstool Boston for the photo

Hula hoop girl gives Philadelphia Eagles fans a distraction from 52-year championship drought

Yes, Eagles fans, there may be hope after all. Katie Sunshine is a professional hula hoop girl with a passion for anything and everything Philadelphia Eagles. Her tight-to-the-skin Eagles wardrobe includes team logo’d Uggs, which until now it was assumed only Tom Brady has been feminine enough to wear (BOOM!). Regardless, the Eagles need to get her on the payroll with a 1080 HD Video Camera, ASAP. Smoking hot and talented…unless she’s under 18, then she’s just talented.

H/T Guyism

Britain’s Shin-Kicking Championships seems like a fun time (Video)

“I kind of get quite annoyed when people think shin-kicking is literally two guys just facing each other and kicking each other as hard as possible in the shins.”

Really? Who would think that? I’ve always assumed that Britain’s Shin-Kicking Championships involved a Decathlon followed by a karaoke battle to the death with the local magistrate. Would have never guessed that people actually believed that it was just two dudes going Ike Turner on each other’s shins until one falls down. My word.

Call me when the Groin-Kicking Championship begins. That’ll separate the men from the boys.

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And yet another example of why I’m too much of a puss to ever play rugby

Even during times of celebration, there will be blood.

Scotland defeating powerhouse Austrailia 9-6 on Monday night prompted the totally non-erotic postgame man melee which in turn resulted in flying headbutts and blood. Only in Rugby. And possibly Street Fighter II. Give the bloodied athletes credit though for having enough adrenaline in their system to smile through their concussion. Somebody better have waken them up every hour on the hour last night.

Celebration also asks the important question to why the hell ‘Aww, Crimey!” isn’t a killer saying in the American language. Because there is no excuse to why it isn’t.

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