More than a handful of fans per MLB season make the idiotic decision to to hop the barrier that separates spectators from the field. In most cases, this results in a hefty fan and a night in a local jail. The risk is obviously worth the reward for some people.
We’re glad one Toronto Blue Jays fan decided to take the plunge on May 5, because it led to one of the most hilarious police reports you will ever read. The officer who wrote the arrest report did more than just outline Joseph’s charge of willfully interfering with the use, enjoyment or operation of property. He also took the opportunity to blast the Blue Jays for sucking.
The report, which was uncovered by the guys at Drunk Jays Fans, read as follows:
On May 5, 2013 at approximately 3:18 PM the Toronto Blue jays were surprisingly winning against the underrated Seattle Marriners. Our hapless Jays limped along to the bottom of the 8th inning. At one point, the Jays were considered World Series contenders. One can almost forgive the accused for his below described actions.
Luckily, the accused ran onto the field from level 100 and wasn’t forced to jump from the 500 level out of sheer frustration.
In any event, the accused before the court, Joseph [Redacted], in what can only be described as an attempt to inject some kind of spark in our listless Jays, ran onto the field “interrupting” the game, giving jays fans a brief respite from their season long agony.
The accused was subsequently placed under arrest to applause, transported to 52 Division where he was released on a Form 10/11.1.
Bravo. You don’t expect to see full-blown comedy in an incident report, but that is exactly what this officer gave us. Joseph’s defense attorney eventually responded with an unusual letter of his own and the situation was resolved with a hefty donation to the Jays Care Foundation.
And with that, the Blue Jays have officially managed to take falling short of expectations to a new level. Now I’m interested to see the incident report that went along with the insane Jays fan who slid into second base.