Donald Sterling to ‘fight for the rights of all Americans’

It took his legal team a while to get around to it, but Donald Sterling is finally taking the freedom of speech approach in his fight to keep the Los Angeles Clippers. After he changed his mind several times about whether he would approve the sale of the team, Sterling sent out a press release on Tuesday announcing that he will fight for the American people.

“I was brought up in America and educated to believe that every citizen has a right to privacy and right to freedom of speech,” the release stated. “As a lawyer and citizen, I am shocked (but not surprised) that the NBA wants to take away those fundamental rights.

“I feel that every American has to protect those rights and that the NBA should not be allowed to take away those rights. I have apologized for my mistakes. My apology is sincere. I want every American to know that I will not give up fighting for those rights.”

You hear that, folks? Sterling may be a racist, but he is not just fighting to keep his own team. He is fighting for each and every one of us. Heck, he’s no different from George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, or the dude from “Braveheart.” Cue the music:

Sterling went on to claim that NBA commissioner Adam Silver is using him a scapegoat to avoid examining the league’s own “discriminatory practices.” He called the NBA a “band of hypocrites and bullies” that uses money from fans to “exact its reign of terror.” He ended with one final rally cry.

“We have to fight for the rights of all Americans. We have to fight these despicable monsters. THIS IS THE REASON I WILL NOT SELL MY TEAM.”

Was that 80-year-old Donald Sterling or William Wallace? You tell me…