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Thursday, April 26, 2018

This is Hibachi Speaking

In case I haven’t already made it abundantly clear, Gilbert Arenas is my favorite player in the NBA. You know what, forget the NBA. Gilbert Arenas is my favorite athlete. Ever. This guy is incredible. He is so great that I don’t even need to recount his greatness for you. He is the Benihana’s of Hibachi cooked food. He is the Adidas of sneakers. He is the face of the $0 dollar bill. He is the Phil Ivey of video poker. He is the Kobayashi of burger scarfing. He is the logo of the NBA…well at least he should be.

In the off chance you may deem me hovered in hyperbole, think again. For a quickie brush up, the guys at gilbertology will get you up to speed. Because I won’t bother. All I need to do is direct you to the single most entertaining read available. Ever. My friends, that is the NBA blog of the Hibachi himself – Gilbert Arenas. From his entry on Wednesday:

“[Phoenix Suns Coach Mike] D’Antoni said that after I scored 54 on them and made my prediction to score 50 on the Blazers that he’d like to see what I’m going to do against Duke.

I thought it was funny because if I have the chance to go back to college, I’ll give up one NBA season to play against Duke.

One college game, that’s five fouls, right?…40-minute games at Duke, they got soft rims, I’d probably score 84 or 85.

I wouldn’t pass the ball.

I wouldn’t even think about passing it. It would be like a NBA Live or an NBA 2K7 game, you just shoot with one person.”

Where’s the ticket, where? I’m in. Count me in. How much? Whatever you want. You got it. $1,000 bucks? Sure. To what? Watch Gilbert go video game on Duke? I’ll pay it. 84 or 85 points? Why not 100.

Look, I haven’t bought a pair of basketball shoes since the Grant Hill II by Fila when I was a middle-school wannabe. I think I may be purchasing my first pair in a decade. And yes – I am completely proud of this fact.

And pray to the goodness of Rory Fitzpatrick – Gilbert got voted in as a starter on the Eastern Conference All-Star team over Vince Carter. And all the elves and unicorns and manatees joined hands to dance around in circles celebrating the thought that all is right in the world.

Photo Credit Sports Illustrated

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