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Ozzie Guillen Is a Hall of Famer

This is just pure Ozzie brilliance. There really is nobody like him. And I can’t help but take enjoyment in the White Sox struggles because I know they will result in better and better press conferences. On the other hand, they can’t lose too much, because I don’t want Ozzie’s job in jeopardy. This is quite the quandary. Amongst the highlights from Tuesday night’s rant following the 7-5 loss to the Marlins: Ozzie’s tired of being a ru-ru guy (his version of ra-ra I guess), Ozzie wants the players to take some blame, every move Ozzie makes is the wrong move, and Ozzie thinks the players should apologize to the fans for sucking. I have transcribed my favorite selections from the post-game press conference.

I’m tired to be positive. I’m tired to be the roo-roo guy, lets go lets go lets go.

They blaming on the coaching staff, they blaming on Ozzie, they blaming on the pitching coach, they blaming on Kenny, they blaming on Jerry, blame it on the players too. They don’t even blame the right people. This is the same ballclub we had in 2005. Blame the players too.

Every move I’ve been making so far is the wrong one. Why? Because they no support me doing the things they’re supposed to do. You thought I was a good manager? Well look at me now. I’m not that good. You as good as your players are.

We have to apologize to the fans that show up and watch this team. Because I’m tired to watch this day-in and day-out.

I swear, the day Ozzie gets the chop is the day I will mourn the loss of a Hall of Famer. Long live Ozzie. Viva El Guillen!

Brazilian Soccer Ref Posing in Playboy

I didn’t post this to get your thoughts on international soccer. I just wanted you to see what she looks like. She’s 29 and has far too many names for me to write them all here. Just check the video below. And also be sure to check out this google translated press release. It’s freaking hilarious. Thanks to Our Book of Scrap for turning my attention to this story. If the refs keep this up, soccer might actually get some attention on the site. Until that point, I’ll keep it to a minimum.

I have a few ideas of what I’d like to do with that red card. Giggity.

Morning Paper: Greg Oden Concerns?

Injury concerns about Greg Oden are bogus [Awful Announcing]

Comparing NBA draft prospects to current NBA players [Complete Sports]

Pau Gasol making Kobe-like demands [SPORTSbyBROOKS]

J.A. Adande‘s going to Bristol, forget SI [The Big Lead]

Japanese toss tuna like discus, hilarious [Deuce of Davenport]

Golfer starts a fire with one swing of the club [We are the Postmen]

Ozzie Guillen making sweeping generalizations about Miguel Cabrera’s culture and weight [Leave the Man Alone]

Is Craig Biggio a hall of famer? [One More Dying Quail]

Not happy with the TV coverage of the College World Series [Just Call Me Juice]

BYU track star beat up a pedestrian with a mop [Lion in Oil]

Mike and Mike joining Monday Night Football [FanIQ]

Enough Amanda Beard interviews, thanks [Run Up the Score]

The Lee and Young suspensions were unfair [Signal to Noise]

Culpepper to the Jets? Why not [The Feed]

Tommie Harris Speaks the Truth About Grossman and McNabb

So Tommie Harris is at Donovan McNabb’s golf tournament and makes some comments that he’d love to have McNabb as the Bears quarterback, and that they’d win the Super Bowl with McNabb as QB. I’ll say this much, he’s absolutely right. We’re in the off-season for a team coming off a Super Bowl season where their quarterback was the glaring weakness of the squad. McNabb is a perennial Pro Bowler, one of the absolute best quarterbacks in the game. Harris speaks the truth.

If Grossman’s feelings are hurt, then too bad. He should spend more time working on his game and less time making New Years Eve plans. Grossman says the two are cool, but there’s no way he’s not bothered by the comments. He takes enough heat from the media, now he’s getting some indirect grief from a teammate. Let this serve as a wake up call for Grossman to get his act together, because what Harris says is accurate.

(Photo courtesy Jim Prisching, Tribune)

Sam Perlozzo, Undeserving Scapegoat

Just got done posting that at FanHouse. Who the heck do the Orioles think they are? Seriously. Firing Sam Perlozzo, blaming him for their failures. That’s a joke. Anywhoo, here’s a link to my story for you to peruse, along with some of my other recent work at FanHouse:

Dan Wilkinson’s Run Comes to an End

Truthfully, I didn’t even know the guy was still in the league. Then again, the same thing could’ve been said for him 12 years ago. It’s a sad reality. So yes, the Dolphins cut Big Daddy Wilkinson on Monday, raising the probability that the defensive tackle will retire. This is a landmark day in the NFL, no matter what you think. I’ll explain.

Big Daddy is a former no. 1 overall pick in the 1994 draft by the Bengals. While the talent of quarterbacks and other skill position players is hard to judge, lineman are considered to be more guaranteed selections. In turn, Cincy was expecting to have a Pro Bowl defensive lineman who could pressure the quarterback for an entire decade. Instead, they got a lineman who didn’t live up to the hype, only staying with the Bengals for four years, and never really making a name for himself anywhere else he went.

Wilkinson’s inevitable retirement marks the end of the Bengals’ drafting ineptitude. It all started with first round pick out of Houston, QB David Klingler, who was selected 6th overall in 2002. He played in just 33 games, throwing for 16TDs and 21INTs in his career. In 1995, Ki-Jana Carter was taken with the first overall pick in the draft. He tore up his knee and never recovered. He played in just 57 games, retiring in ’03 with 20 career TDs and a 3.6ypc average. Then, the 3rd pick in the 1999 draft, Akili Smith, might have been the biggest bust of all. He managed just 21 games in the NFL, getting outclassed by even Ryan Leaf. Smith’s career numbers include 5TD passes and 13INTs.

Looks like Big Daddy was the most productive of all the busts — you know, if that’s something to boast about. And Wilkinson’s going to be opening up some AAMCO Transmission shops. Best of luck to him. And cheers to the Bengals for finally getting their scouting together. Now, about the character issues

Down Goes OJ, Down Goes OJ!

It didn’t take me writing this for you to know that the Juice was a disgusting crook, but I’m still going to mention it because it’s an extra detail. This guy is sick. Very sick. Remember a while back when he was about to release a book and appear in a TV show titled, “If I Did it?” Yeah, he was going to rub it in the faces of his single-parent children and explain to the world how he would’ve killed his wife if he had done it. Well now it looks like he was hiding the profits of that book to keep them from going to the Goldman family.

Former American football star O.J. SIMPSON has been found guilty of hiding profits from his controversial book IF I DID IT in a shell company.
Judge Jay Cristol ruled on Friday (15Jun07) that bankrupt business Lorraine Brooke Associates, run by Simpson’s daughter Arnelle, was used to conceal profits from the family of Ron Goldman, which is trying to collect a wrongful death civil judgment of $33.5 million (£16.75 million) from the star.

Like father like daughter, I guess. I was wondering who would actually contribute to such a business venture, but now I know. This is a good sign my friends, good sign. And hot damn, he owes the family $33.5 million? That’s a lot. If I had known where the proceeds were going, maybe I would’ve made a donation.

Chest Bump to Ben Maller