Test Rusty Bumgardner for Roids!

Somehow or another I came across a slow pitch softball game being televised on ESPN Saturday afternoon. The game was between the U.S. and Canada and it was dubbed the “Border War.” No, I didn’t exactly stick around to watch this thing — my attention was fixed more on the Dodgers/Mets game that went extras — but if you have a thirst and hunger for home runs, then this game was right up your alley. Specifically, Rusty Bumgardner is what you need to see.

Watching this team play, Bumgardner stood out amongst everyone on the field. Bumgardner is 6’6″ and 285lbs of pure muscle. The dude is built like a brick wall and he has veins popping out of every part of his body. That guy doesn’t just hit home runs; his balls are crossing interstate lines. After seeing Rusty club softballs off the stadium scoreboard, it’s no surprise to find out that he has a deep athletic background.

The softball behemoth played baseball and football at Wake Forest and was even the first American signing by the Marlins. While his minor league numbers weren’t bad, he’s making even more of a name for himself with his beer league bombing ways. Any surprise his hobbies are sports and working out? Of course not. Rusty is a certifiable beefcake. Beefcake BEEFCAAAAAKE!!!

Here’s some of the best of Rusty Bumgardner in case you wanted to see this guy destroy a slow pitch softball:

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Mark Teixeira Pwns Bruce Chen

I’ve seen cases where batters have had good records against pitchers before but I don’t ever remember seeing anything quite like what Mark Teixeira has done against Bruce Chen. Strange combination, right? I know, but the numbers speak for themselves. Prior to Thursday’s Yankees/Royals game, Mark Teixeira was 7-for-11 against Chen. Six of his seven hits were home runs and the seventh was a double. For those of you keeping score at home, that’s a ridiculous 3.030 OPS. You can’t even do that on a video game.

Teixeira was back in usual form against Chen on Thursday in the Bronx, mashing an RBI double and a single in his first two ABs vs. the lefty. He did strike out in his third at-bat of the game before Chen was lifted. Teixeira ended up 3-for-5 with two runs scored and an RBI. In 14 career at-bats against Chen, Tex is now 9-for-14 with six home runs and two doubles. That’s good for a healthy .643/2.143/2.810 line. That is pure pwnage unlike anything I’ve ever seen.

Mark Teixeira’s splits [Baseball-Reference]

Cubs Should Make Ryne Sandberg Their New Manager

With the announcement of Lou Piniella’s retirement, Chicago Cubs fans have once again picked up their talks as to why former Cub and current manager of the Triple-A affiliate Iowa Cubs, Ryne Sandberg, should be their new manager. And you know what? It makes perfect sense.

1. Sandberg understands the Cubs. As a former player, Sandberg knows what being a member of the Cubs is all about. I have to hand it to Cubs fans for being so loyal when their team is a terrible as they are. Even though attendance at Wrigley Field is down, Cubs hats and t-shirts are still worn with pride. Sandberg understands that the “lovable losers” will stand by the Cubs no matter what their position in the standings is. But more importantly he knows how badly they want to win.

2. Sandberg has been preparing for this job. He hasn’t spent four years in the minor leagues for nothing. Sandberg took the job in Iowa so that he would have the proper seasoning when the Cubs job opened up. He even says he’s been preparing for this opportunity.

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Bruce Bochy Picks on Acting Dodgers Manager Don Mattingly

Bruce Bochy may not be very good at making decisions, but he’s certainly got an eye for spotting others who make bad ones.  After Joe Torre was ejected due to a hit batsman issue during Wednesday night’s Dodgers-Giants game, Bochy pulled out the rule book and stuffed it directly up acting manager Don Mattingly‘s can.

With the Dodgers leading 5-4 in a bases loaded situation in the 9th, Mattingly decided to make a mound visit to chat with his closer, Jonathan Broxton. As Mattingly was leaving the mound to head back to the dugout, James Loney asked him a question and he turned around and walked back to the mound to answer him.  Since he technically stepped off the mound and returned in the same inning, Bochy was quick to point out that it was the second mound visit of the inning and the umpiring crew agreed Broxton must leave the game.  Here’s the video of Don Mattingly accidentally making two mound visits and forcing Broxton from the game, courtesy of Deadspin:

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Carl Crawford Takes One in the Nuts

Any time I played ball I ALWAYS wore a cup. I know it’s uncomfortable and screws you up when you’re running or lifting your leg during a pitching windup, but dealing with that discomfort is much better than the alternative. The problem is some guys don’t understand how bad the alternative is until it happens to them. Take for instance Rays star outfielder Carl Crawford who got dosed in the nuts on a pickoff attempt. He went down writhing in pain over an ordinary cup check. Watch this Carl Crawford nut shot video and tell me he doesn’t wish he were wearing a cup:

Ordinarily I’d feel badly for him, but Crawford should know better. I hope he’s not hurt but man, he learned his lesson the hard way. Weird thing is that can happen to a guy and he still might not learn his lesson; Adrian Beltre went on the DL with a testicle injury after getting hit in the nuts and still said he might not wear a cup in the future. Can you imagine that?!

Thanks to LBS contributor Alan for the heads up on this injury and The Last Angry Fan for the video. Here are some pics:

It Was Time for Piniella to Call it Quits

On Tuesday, word leaked that Chicago Cubs skipper Lou Piniella would be retiring at the end of the 2010 season.  Piniella said that he made this decision at this point in the season so that GM Jim Hendry would have ample time to find his replacement. I say it’s about time.

Piniella’s four years in Chicago have been interesting to say the least. In his time with the Cubs he led them to back-to-back NL Central titles in 2007 and 2008. Whether it was the pressure of the playoffs, bad managing, or the mythical goat curse on the Cubs, they failed to win a postseason series. They had a disappointing 2009 season and presently sit 10.5 games out of first place and 10 games under .500. I think it’s fair to say that Sweet Lou stopped managing a while ago.

I don’t blame him. I would be frustrated too. The Cubs have a very talented roster and have even had some surprises this year with the success of Carlos Silva and the performances by rookies Starlin Castro and Tyler Colvin, yet they can’t seem to put the puzzle together. Fans are frustrated, players are frustrated, and obviously Piniella is just tired of watching the boys in blue and white go out and stink day after day.

Piniella is going to be 67 years old — he doesn’t need to watch this anymore. Like I said, I don’t think he’s been contributing much this season anyways. Now the real job will be for Hendry to go out and find someone who can shine a light on the Northside of Chicago and give the Cubs at least a shot a winning something.

Piniella to Retire as Cubs Manager [ESPN Chicago]

Giants Fan Heckles Keith Hernandez for Sleeping on the Job

It’s been over two months since Jerry Seinfeld’s good friend Keith Hernandez fell asleep in the broadcast booth during an extra-inning game between the Mets and Giants. Not surprisingly, the fans haven’t forgotten. They also haven’t stopped letting him hear about it. Here’s a video of a Giants fan heckling Keith Hernandez for falling asleep in the broadcast booth, courtesy of Tirico Suave:

It seems the only thing that gets under Hernandez’s skin more than being heckled about this embarrassing moment is a confrontation with Jose Reyes. Props to the heckler for being loud enough to be heard on the TV broadcast. I’m not really sure what Keith means when he says, “I wish I could say something back but we’re on the air.” What can he say? The man fell asleep on the job. He can tell the fan to shove it if it makes him feel better, but at the end of the day when you do something that hilarious, you can expect to be heckled about it for a long, long time.

Rowdy Giants Fan Keeps Keith Hernandez Awake [Tirico Suave]