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Sunday, February 1, 2015

Baseball

Hey Ump, Have a Whiff of My Armpit!

What you are about to see is Kash Beauchamp, manager of the Wichita Wingnuts. And yes, he is crazy. Video via FanIQ. And much like 100% Injury Rate, I cannot possibly show this without comparing it to the Phillip Wellman blowup — the standard bearer for all minor league managerial meltdowns.

Lance Berkman Dismisses Myth that Home Run Derby Messes Up Your Swing

Lance Berkman is absolutely mashing this year, so much so that he won the fan vote to start as the NL first baseman over sluggers like Albert Pujols, Derrek Lee, Ryan Howard, Adrian Gonzalez, and Prince Fielder. He also got invited to participate in the Home Run Derby at Yankee Stadium and happily accepted. Lots…Read More

Paul Konerko, Welcome to the Club

We’ve had several near misses in the LBS Golden Sombrero Club lately, but no inductions until Wednesday night. Keep in mind, a player who goes 0-for-5 with 4K’s but doesn’t K in every trip to the plate doesn’t quite qualify unfortunately. The point of the Golden Sombrero is that it highlights the an incredibly brutal…Read More

A-Rod Has Some Crappy Taste in Chicks

I guess all this A-Rod the adulterer stuff started last year when the NY slime rags photographed him with that skank in Toronto. That led to wife Cynthia wearing a **** You t-shirt to Yankee Stadium, and ultimately, the Madonna rumors that came out last week. Since the whole Madonna incident, another former stripper has…Read More

In Billy Beane, the A’s Should Trust

I learned my lesson (for the 82nd time) this year, that you can never underestimate Billy Beane. After he traded away Dan Haren and Nick Swisher leading into the season, I said the A’s had conceded 2008. They’re happily in 2nd place in the AL West, well over .500. What the **** do I know….Read More

American Society of Goatees Denounces Geovany Soto

It was only yesterday that the American Mustache Institute threw its support behind Jason Giambi and his mustache, in hopes of promoting Giambi to win the final spot for the AL All-Star team. Apparently feeling that their comments could not impact the catcher because he had already been voted onto the team by the fans,…Read More

Jason Giambi’s Mustache Now Certified

Earlier in the season it was Eric Byrnes who grew out a mustache while riding a hot hitting streak. Sporting the porn stache, Byrnes declared it The Year of the Mustache. Well, it wasn’t long after that Jason Giambi traded in his gold thong for a mustache when in need of a good luck charm….Read More

Please Send All Comments/Questions to OzzieGuillen13@hotmail.com

A few years ago, Ozzie Guillen made his email address public notifying fans that they could send comments and questions, good or bad, to him personally at ozzieguillen13@hotmail.com. I thought I had sent him one at some point in time, but I can’t really locate it. Regardless, whatever I may or may not have sent…Read More

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