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Team Lewabosh Miami Heat Jersey Might be Worst Sports Jersey Ever

Back in July when the Bermuda Triangle of LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh formed in Miami, one particular Heat fan was pretty excited. He didn’t get quite as crazy as these fans, but he went all out. In fact, the man who calls himself “Big Cheese” on twitter proudly represents the worst Heat jersey we’ve seen. Check it out thanks to the great Sports Feeder:

Notice how that’s jersey number 10, which is the total of LeBron (6), Wade (3), and Bosh’s (1) jersey numbers? You know Big Cheese wouldn’t miss a detail like that. And in case you’re wondering how to pronounce “Lewabosh,” Big Cheese has you covered with this video he made last summer. Check it out:

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Charles Barkley Was Willing to Write Dirk Nowitzki Blank Check to Play at Auburn

Former All-Star and current NBA analyst Charles Barkley has been on the Dirk Nowitzki bandwagon for a long time. Before picking the Mavs to beat the Thunder, Barkley said about Dirk “In my 30 years around the NBA, he has the most unique game. He’s a 7-foot guy who can shoot 3s, he can put it on the floor” and that was only part of his praise for the German. If you don’t understand where his love for Dirk comes from, it actually goes back several years ago when Barkley saw Dirk play as a teenager. He related the story as a guest on PTI Thursday.

“We’re on one of those Nike trips and I had Scottie Pippen and Gary Payton, and a bunch of great players,” Barkley recalled. “Dirk had 28 at halftime. He was like 16 years old. He finished up with about 42. I told him ‘You name your price, you’re going to Auburn University.’ I said ‘Here’s a blank check, just fill it in. Just fill it in. You’re going to Auburn.’ He said ‘I gotta go into the army.’ I took his information, called a couple months later, and Don Nelson drafts him for the Mavs. You know how great we would have been? Can you imagine how great Auburn would have been if we had the white mamba?”

The main point of the story was to explain how good Dirk was at such an early age, and how obvious to Barkley it was that Dirk was a special player. But if you think he was joking about writing a blank check to get Dirk to Auburn, you’re wrong. Barkley freely admits he took money from agents when he played, and he’ll probably tell you Auburn got Cam Newton cheaply if they only paid $180,000 for him.

And just for factual information, Dirk was actually drafted by Milwaukee and traded for Tractor Traylor. It was easily one of the worst draft-day trades ever, all respect to the late Tractor.

Three Adjustments Thunder Need to Make to Beat Mavericks in Game 2

Led by an all-time great playoff performance from Dirk Nowitzki, the Mavericks slaughtered the Thunder 121-112 in Game 1 of the Western Conference Finals Tuesday.

Dirk dropped 48 points on 12-of-15 shooting and broke an NBA playoff record for made free throws in a game without a miss by going 22-of-22 from the line.

Kevin Durant tried his best to retaliate, scoring 40 points, but his teammates weren’t up to the task. The Thunder’s performance wasn’t as respectable as the single-digit final deficit suggests; they were outplayed in every aspect of the game.

Any time your opponent shoots 53% from the field and outscores your bench 53-22, you’re in major trouble.

So what does OKC have to do to bounce back and even the series 1-1?

Here are three key adjustments the Thunder can make to win Game 2:

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Nike Marketing Kevin Durant Backpack Along with Clothing Line

During Oklahoma City Thunder post-game press conferences, two things go hand-in-hand: Kevin Durant and his backpack.  For whatever reason, the 21-year-old superstar does all his post game blabber wearing his backpack completely strapped up and ready to go.  Like any smart company would do, Nike is capitalizing on the fashion statement by selling the carrying book bag as part of Durant’s KD III line.

It has almost become symbolic for Durant to rock the backpack during his sessions with the media.  However, some fans may be disappointed with what’s actually in it.  According to Durant, “iPad, headphones, bible and phone chargers,” is all he carries.

Nike is has wisely decided to capitalize off this entertaining fad.  Durant, unlike LeBron, is one of the most loved players in the NBA.  When young basketball players go to purchase his shoes, they’ll almost certainly feel obligated to buy the matching backpack.

While Nike looks to profit off Durant’s choice in style, Durant himself has other things to worry about.  One huge one will be slowing down the Mavericks and Dirk Nowitzki’s quest to enhance his legacy. After the Game 1 loss, Durant will need his teammate Russell Westbrook (3-15 shooting in Game 1) — not his backpack – to have any chance of bouncing back.

When you look at the way Durant used to be, this revelation is actually surprising.

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Upset He Has No Statue Outside Staples Center

Generally in American society, we practice modesty. That’s just the way it is. Talking about your own accomplishments is usually seen as bragging or “tooting your own horn,” and that is something that is frowned upon in our culture. Why do you think people like LeBron James are so hated? Could it be because he says things like, “I’ve decided to take my talents to South Beach?” Yes, that’s exactly why.

Apparently Kareem Abdul-Jabbar would disagree with the aforementioned assesment of American culture.  Either that, or he’s so pissed off that he doesn’t care if he sounds like a jerk by bragging.  Kareem recently told The Sporting News in an interview that he has no idea why the Lakers have yet to construct a statue of him outside the Staples Center, especially considering that every person in the world of sports seems to be getting one these days.

“I don’t understand (it). It’s either an oversight or they’re taking me for granted,” Abdul-Jabbar explained in the interview. “I’m not going to try to read people’s minds, but it doesn’t make me happy. It’s definitely a slight. I feel slighted.”

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Enough of the Forced Apologies, Reggie Bush, Rashard Mendenhall, Andrew Bynum

Wthe immediacy of modern technology, it is way too easy to write something or disseminate information that will be regretted about 3½ seconds later. (Please see: many of the other articles I have written.) Imagine if the requisite hackneyed apology existed throughout history. Nero: “Perhaps in retrospect, I probably should have done something else but play a lousy musical instrument while Rome burned to the ground.” Ivan The Terrible: “I got a bad rap. It’s not like I chose that nickname.” Attila the Hun: “I’m sorry for my actions. This is not how a barbarian is supposed to act.” Fortunately for these figures, immediacy of communication was a little spotty. Perhaps if there were YouTube clips of the Massacre of Novgorod or CNN footage of the Battle of Châlons, then things would have been different. (Feel free to Google the references.) Anyway, the recordings would be grainy. Flash forward to the present generation, where actions are posted and relived on the Internet before the left brain has had a chance to figure out what the right brain just did.

Sports figures give modern society innumerable chances to teach lessons to others by repeatedly completing the sentence, “See what happens when you…” To break it down into perplexes and oh no’s, the general playbook of athlete stupidity usually reads the same way: 1) Commit Stupidity 2) Wait for public backlash 3) Make heart-felt/gun-in-the-back apology at the request of media/PR person 4) Enumerate the number of people and entities you’ve let down and how you’d like to learn/move on from said foolishness and no longer answer any questions on the topic so as to not revisit the past (where have you gone, George Santayana?).

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David Kahn Sacked by the LBS Nut Bag for Suggesting Lottery is Fixed

At some point on Tuesday night, the discussion about the NBA draft lottery shifted away from the Cleveland Cavaliers winning two of the top four picks in the draft to David Kahn’s humorous accusation. Kahn, the Timberwolves GM, is known for making asinine remarks such as his assertion that Darko Milicic was similar to Chris Webber. After Webber expressed indignation with the comments, Kahn called him a schmuck. No surprise the notorious mouth of Kahn has opened once again, and this time it let out some words that will likely involve a six-figure fine by NBA commissioner David Stern.

After ending up with the second overall pick despite being the favorite to receive the top overall pick (they had a 25% chance to win the lottery), Kahn said “This league has a habit, and I am just going to say habit, of producing some pretty incredible story lines. Last year it was Abe Pollin’s widow and this year it was a 14-year-old boy and the only thing we have in common is we have both been bar mitzvahed. We were done. I told Kevin: ‘We’re toast.’ This is not happening for us and I was right.”

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