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Smush Parker Struggles With Valet

The ubiquitous SpinMax, who also happens to be the biggest Oklahoma fan in the world this week, emails in with this great story. Not to be outdone by Chris Henry, Heat guard Smush Parker got involved in an altercation with a valet parker this week.

Yomaira McKenzie, 41, said Parker ”lost it” Tuesday morning when he was asked to pay the $12 valet parking charge he allegedly owed at a condo building at 355 Biscayne Blvd. McKenzie is an assistant manager at Standard Valet, which services the building.

According to a Miami police incident report, Parker, 26, claimed he had paid the fee in advance a night earlier. He said he did not have any available cash to pay Tuesday.

Tension apparently escalated when Parker, denied his keys until he settled the debt, allegedly pushed a valet podium and grabbed McKenzie’s arm in an attempt to get his keys, according to the incident report.

As someone who never carries more than $20 in their wallet at any given moment, I feel for Smush. But come on, is that really a reasonable way to react to the inability to pay a fee, even if you had paid it the previous night? Violence is not the answer to all life’s problems, Smush. On the bright side, at least he didn’t go to the “don’t you know who I am?” card.

(photo from Flickr)

Gilbert’s TV Career Taking Off

Which is a good thing, considering his basketball career is on hold for three months. The Wizznutzz (via Ballhype) puts me onto Gil’s latest short film projects. Naturally, they’re pretty humorous. There’s a James Bond-esque Agent Zero film, a Gil’s Island film, and a cooking with Gilbert one. I think my favorite is Gil as America’s Black President:

Gil’s recent blog post is worth a read as well, though mildly depressing because of the injury. If you read it, you’ll find out why Gil celebrated Thanksgiving over the weekend. What a nutball. (though he does make a valid point)

Knicks Are a ‘Three-Ring Circus’

I’ve had my fair share of fun with the Knicks lately, publicly hoping for Stephon to spill the beans on Isiah. While I might not get that wish, it looks like it really won’t matter. Isiah is struggling so badly to maintain control of the Knicks, that he might not even be around for much longer. Case in point, he kicked his entire team out of practice Monday. Yeah. Coaching 101 at its finest. From the NY Daily News:

A desperate Isiah Thomas kicked his entire team out of practice Monday. The Knicks’ embattled coach was unhappy with their work habits.

The move comes on the heels of a six-game losing streak and amid increasing speculation that Thomas is on the verge of being fired.

“It is a three-ring circus,” said the source. “It’s getting worse.”

So how’s that contract extension for Isiah looking now? Wasn’t this a team that was supposed to be heading back in the right direction? Didn’t they supposedly leave all their tough times and crappy records behind? Yeah, so much for that. As for Isiah, the Knicks are 6-22 since he received his contract extension in March. Now I must ask you the question: is there another franchise in professional sports that’s a bigger mess than this one? If so, please pass it along, because I’m dying to know what could be worse. (and I’m a Bengals fan, too)

(via Ballhype)

D-Wade Calls Out Shaq, Riley Unhappy

The Heat have been nothing short of a mess this year. Not to say that they don’t have plenty of time to turn things around this year — they do — but they’ve still been a mess, and I always love to criticize demented franchises when they’re down. The Heat of course, are no exception. Team leader Dwyane Wade returned to action this week and wasted no time taking Shaq to the woodshed:

“Probably this year more so than any year I have been more vocal with Shaq, talking to him and trying to motivate him,” Wade said Thursday before the Heat left for a game at Boston tonight. “But the main thing is Shaq has got to be self-motivated. He has got to be willing and ready to do it.”

“Even though he is not getting the ball as much as he wants, we need him to help lead this team in other ways, whether it’s rebounding the ball or passing the ball the way he knows how to pass,” Wade said.

Stop me if you’ve heard this before … Shaq being lazy. Hmm. Never would’ve thought it was possible. Meanwhile, Mr. Slick appreciates Wade’s leadership, but doesn’t like him going public with the problem, preferring to keep matters in-house. Naturally. Bottom line: Shaq is nowhere near the player he used to be and is probably lacking the motivation he once had. Still, it’s a long season, and they have plenty of time to get it together. NOT! They’re toast.

(Chest Bump to Matt Watson at NBA FanHouse)

LeBron Piles It on Stephon Marbury

Earlier I was really pushing for Stephon to dump all his dirt on Isiah so we could have one lovely crap fest as it all hits the fan. I’m not quite sure if I’ll get my wish. The topic du jour though, happened to be whether or not people thought Isiah or Stephon needed to leave the Knicks. If you ask me, I think you can win with Stephon, and I’d be quicker to get rid of Isiah. When was the last time a freaking coach caused such a P.R. stir? Anyway, none other than King James himself would disagree with me:

Do not expect New York Knicks guard Stephon Marbury to get traded to the Cavaliers any time soon. At least not while LeBron James is on the team.

“I don’t know him that well,” James said of Marbury. “But I couldn’t have a guy like that on my team.”

Pretty harsh words coming from Da King if you ask me. How can you comment on a guy you don’t know that well? Or is it enough to know that the guy didn’t respond well to a potential benching, and that’s all you need to know about him? I’m guessing that’s the deal. I think it’s a shame that Steph seems to be taking more of a character hit in this whole situation than that dirty, rotten, scum of a coach, Isiah.

UPDATE: The omniscient Matt Watson passes along word that LeBron and Stephon have a history going back to last year when LBJ took a shot at Marbury and his cheap shoes.  Now that’s an interesting twist.  Maybe this goes a little deeper than I originally thought.

Please Let Marbury Blackmail Isiah

Please, oh please, oh pretty please? If there is a basketball god out there, convince him to have Stephon blackmail Isiah Thomas! There is no question in my mind that Starbury has the goods on Isiah given what he hinted at according to a New York Daily News article (and even regardless of the quote):

“Isiah has to start me,” Marbury fumed, according to the source. “I’ve got so much (stuff) on Isiah and he knows it. He thinks he can (get) me. But I’ll (get) him first. You have no idea what I know.”

Well, we know of all the A-Mooch-A allegations against Isiah. We also know that Marbury “coerced” an intern to copulate with him. Is Starbury going to tell us that he and Isiah tag-teamed her? Is that what this is all about? Oh boy, could you just imagine the stories that would come out? Filthy, cheating, fornicating, Isiah! This could be great. Of course, this could also just be part of Marbury’s ploy to get himself to the Italian league. That’s always a possibility. It is at this point that I would normally link you to the infamous video of a cracked out Stephon on TV, but those beauties have unfortunately been removed from YouTube. Sigh.

Lakers Still Ripping Off LA Fans

By now you’ve probably come to know, if you didn’t already, that EVERYTHING in LA is more expensive. It’s not surprise off of course, that it cost more for a family of four to attend a Laker game than any other team in the NBA, according to Team Marketing Reports. But going to a Clippers game, though it’s in LA, doesn’t measure up anywhere nearly as high as attending a Laker game. Simple answer: attending a Laker game is a status symbol amongst the Hollywood crowd posing as Faker fans.

See, there is a downside of liking a trendy team — they become too popular and it ruins things for the actual fans. The fact that it costs the typical family of four around $500Â to attend a game is ridiculous. Once prices hit a level like that, it turns me away. Bottom line is the Lakers are a .500 team with an outside shot at the playoffs yet they’re still charging like they’re aiming for a three-peat. If fans want to see a difference, then they have to decide they won’t show up to games and support the outrageous costs. Either that, or jump on the Clipper bandwagon where the prices are at least semi-reasonable and the product is comparable. Honestly, nearly $500 for a family of four to attend a game and have a decent time? That’s absurd.