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Juan Pablo Montoya Got Lucky

At least that’s what Robby Gordon thinks. No, don’t get it twisted, I’m not a fan of motorsports, but I sure enjoy a good storyline. And Robby Gordon — he of three career wins — calling Juan Pablo Montoya’s win at Sonoma on Sunday the product of luck — is a storyline I appreciate.

“I’m going to say he got lucky today,” Gordon said. ”He didn’t win this race, he got lucky on fuel mileage. … He’s a helluva racecar driver, I’ll give him that credit. His team probably worked on their carburetors, but they didn’t have the fastest car. They just got lucky and won.”

I won’t begin to pretend to understand the basics of racing strategy, but anytime a driver wins a NASCAR race that lasts several hundred laps, I have to say it’s not a product of luck. Memo to Robby: you had 110 laps to get to first place and stay there. Figure it out next time, and don’t call someone else’s win lucky.

(photo courtesy Reuters)

Danica Patrick Smacked Down by Dan Wheldon After A.J. Foyt 225

Neither Danica Patrick nor Dan Wheldon won the IRL race in Milwaukee on Sunday, but they managed to become the center of attention afterwards. And let me tell you, it was one of the best exchanges of smack-talking this year.

Here’s the deal. While battling for fourth in the 87th lap, Wheldon bumped into Patrick, sending Danica spinning towards the inside of the track. The bump set Danica back a lap, and she later complained that the nudge was the result of Wheldon’s jealousy:

I don’t know if he’s mad that I passed him at Indy and he got passed by five more cars or something. I don’t know. I don’t know if the message got across, I’ve never been in a situation with Dan before.

Wheldon however, did not hesitate to put Danica in her place. Check it out:

What goes around comes around. She nearly put me into the pit wall at Indianapolis. I certainly have no problem with everybody else on the track. I’m sure she’s just feeling the pressure of not winning races and her teammates are.

She’s just being Danica. She’ll be fine when she calms down. She’s messing with the wrong person if she wants to get feisty that’s for sure, because I’m a lot tougher than she is on the track.

That is effin’ great! Uhh, this actually might get me interested in watching the next time the two of them are on the track. And how great is it that Wheldon said what everyone’s thinking — Danica’s just pissed because she hasn’t won anything! And forget gender too — Wheldon says he’s tougher than Danica. This is great. Props to Wheldon for smacking Danica around a bit and telling it like it is. Nicely done, my man.

Dario Franchitti Gets Dissed by Yahoo! after Winning Indy 500

No less than three hours after winning the Greatest Spectacle in Motor Racing, here’s what appeared on the homepage of Yahoo!:

Yes, congrats to the winner of the Indy 500 — Ashley Judd’s husband. Seriously. How sad is that? This was pointed out to me by my buddy John Fricke, who was lamenting the diminished relevance of the Indianapolis 500. I see what Yahoo! is doing here — they have this featured on their homepage, where people are more likely to recognize the name “Ashley Judd” than “Dario Franchitti.” They figure it’s a great way of getting non-sports fans to cross over into the world of athletics. But as a sports fan, this upsets me. Just as the phrase “Eva Longoria’s fiance wins NBA championship,” would bother me. But the ultimate point John made, aside from the slight towards Dario, was that there was a time in our society, not too long ago, when putting the name of the Indy 500 on the front page of a popular website would have been enough. But then again, if Franchitti weren’t married to Judd, would this have even made front page news? Probably not.

Stripper, NASCAR, Embezzlement

Let’s play word association: what do the three terms above have in common? Give up? Easy — Fatemeh Angela Harkness.

Fatemeh Angela Harkness, 31, of Red rock, pleaded guilty in January 2004 to conspiring with banker Gary Jones to embezzle more than $1 million from his Austin bank from 2000 to 2003. She received a 40-month sentence.

Harkness and Jones used the money to assemble a NASCAR team called Angela’s Motorsports. The team, featuring driver Mike McLaughlin, entered cars in the Busch Grand National Series starting in late 2002.

But the sly chick fled to Mexico, and then the United Arab Emirates, before finally surrendering last month. And now she’s headed to jail for what I’m sure will be a very long time. But how does “stripper” fit into the equation you ask? She used to be one. Alas, the circle is now complete.

Milka Duno the New Danica Patrick?

Get your looks in now because she’ll be wearing a racing helmet tomorrow. Milka Duno will be making her IRL debut Sunday at Kansas Speedway, according to the St. Petersburg Times. There are some concerns that she’s not ready for IRL racing, and that she could be rushed because of her marketability. You make the call on that one:

Not bad, not bad. Pic via Fark, although be advised, if you follow the link you might see something that resembles Michael Jackson more than the hot chick above.