Oregon Duck Mascot Suspended for Kicking Houston Cougar’s Ass (Video)

This is one of the better stories I’ve seen all year — it definitely has the potential to be one of LBS’ Greatest Hits. As my buddy Andy pointed out to me, the Oregon Duck has been suspended for opening up a can on the Houston Cougar mascot last week and will miss next weekend’s game at Autzen Stadium. What could he have possibly done that was so bad? See for yourself:

You see him go all Ace Ventura on the Cougar? Plus that WWF elbow drop was fantastic. As if the elbow drop wasn’t enough, then the Duck straight up tea-bagged the Cougar. I’m still laughing. That was pure beauty. Possibly the greatest thing I’ve seen all year. And it least it’s a lot more tame than mascots break dancing against each other.

Dude, I’m So Going to Appalachian St.

With a video and a sales pitch like this one, how can you possibly resist the charm?

EDSBS picked up on this earlier in the week, and SI’s Extra Mustard Hot Clicks had it up a few days ago, but I must thank stellar sports radio personality Jorge Sedano for the hookup. I cannot possibly imagine a video that would make me more inclined to attend the university. I’m so there.

Charlie Weis Should Thank Lloyd Carr

Matter of fact, he should take Lloyd out to lunch. Dinner. For steak. Is there anyone in the country who dodged a bigger bullet than Charlie Weis this weekend? The only thing keeping his Notre Dame season opening embarrassment from being the talk of the week was Lloyd Carr’s loss to Appalachian St. I know, just like Notre Dame to get the luck of the Irish. But oh no, I won’t let such things be forgotten over here.

Let’s not forget, shall we, that Notre Dame got demolished at home by Georgia Tech 33-3. They didn’t just lose, they got bombed spectacularly. They managed only 122 yards of offense — a total the Raiders would laugh at — including -8 net yards on the ground. Wow. They gave up nine sacks, and lost three fumbles. About the only positive Charlie Weis can take away from the game was that he got a good look at his punter.

Moreover, not only did Notre Dame get hammered in their opener at home, but they seem well on their way to a healthy 7-5 season. Weis has already said he’s going with the Natty Light kid against Penn St., which is probably a good thing. See, this way, Golden Arm will be in midseason form when it comes time to hang 40 on the likes of Stanford and Duke. Glad to see the good ole boys at ND brought out all the stops in the last month of the season. Their November reads like an NCAA qualifying exam, not a football schedule. Navy, Air Force, Duke, and Stanford. Oooo, scary, scary, scary. Let’s just hope the Irish don’t strain any muscles leading up to that oh-so-difficult stretch run. We wouldn’t want them to be at anything less than full strength.

(photo courtesy Jonathan Daniel/Getty)

Mark Mangino Does Not Like His Players Showboating

Thanks to EDSBS and FanHouse, we have some great video from Kansas’ win over Central Michigan this weekend. Check out this punt return for a touchdown in the second quarter by Raimond (yes, there’s an “I” in his name) Pendelton:

That made the score 28-0, with Kansas going on to win it 52-7. I love it when coaches do that crap — no showboating, no penalty flags, none of that garbage. Marvin Lewis should learn from Mangino. That … was brilliant.

DeSean Jackson Returns Punts Well

He definitely had the R button working on this punt return Saturday night against Tennessee. Check it out, it was probably the play of the week, second only to Appalachian State’s blocked kick:

You know, it’s impossible to compare conferences because they don’t match up against each other enough, and because they’re unbalanced (some have 8, 10, 11, or 12 teams), but the Pac-10 proved a lot knocking off Tennessee handily on Saturday. I was quite pleased with the win. And I think it’s pretty safe to say that DeSean cemented himself as one of the best players in the country. Only problem is, now people won’t be kicking to him — if they can help it.

Get Ready to Throw Up: Pac-10 Football Coach Salaries

When you think about priorities in this country, you realize they’re completely out of whack once you compare salaries of football coaches at universities with that of the professors. Then again, as they said in The Program, when was the last time 100,000 people showed up to watch a kid do a chemistry experiment? It is with that thought in mind that I present the salaries of the Pac-10 head football coaches.

  1. Pete Carroll, USC, $4 million
  2. Jeff Tedford, Cal, $1.8 million (not including $1 million signing bonus)
  3. Tyrone Willingham, Washington, $1,312,772
  4. Mike Riley, Oregon St., $850,000 guaranteed, likely $1.1 mil with incentives
  5. Mike Bellotti, Oregon, $475,000 guaranteed, incentives have pushed it over a million last five years
  6. Karl Dorrell, UCLA, $900,000 guaranteed
  7. Mike Stoops, $865,000 guaranteed, plus incentives
  8. Dennis Erickson, Arizona St., $500,000 guaranteed, plus incentives, jumps to $1.275 million in ’08
  9. Bill Doba, Washington St., $440,000 guaranteed, plus incentives, total around $600,00
  10. Jim Harbaugh, Stanford, $350,000 plus incentives

The Harbaugh and Carroll salaries are estimated since USC an Stanford are private schools and not forced to release their figures. All I know is that I will now be switching professions thank you very much.

(via PostmanR‘s Top Five, and The Big Lead, more South Park images here, image via Signal to Noise)

Jon Gruden Talks Some Serious Ish

So the Toledo athletic program has been embroiled in a recent point-shaving scandal. Just yesterday, ESPN.com reported that Bucs QB Bruce Gradkowski, had been named in the scandal. As you can imagine, his head coach, Jon Gruden, did not react kindly to the news.

I don’t watch ESPN. I don’t believe half of the (expletive) people on the channel. If Bruce Gradkowski is throwing games at Toledo, why in the hell does he lead the NCAA in passing percentages? That is a crock. You know, these reports make me sick.

I don’t believe there is any truth to it, and I’ll go to my grave believing that. I hope that ESPN3 or 4 or whatever has some real sources behind this story. It has nothing to do with the kid.

Wow. And they wonder why they call the guy Chucky. I would not want to be in a football meeting with that guy. Parents tuck their kids in at night and say Jon Gruden is going to get them if they’re bad. Yikes.

Chest Bump to the Host Known as BBM