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Friday, December 19, 2014

College Football

No Fried Turkey Dinners for ASU Fans

What an utter shame. They say making fried turkeys on Thanksgiving is one of the best treats out there. At the same time, it’s also one of the most dangerous, with people getting injured from the fryers as often as kids blow off their hands on July 4th with fireworks. For that reason, the peeps…Read More

Damn You, Arizona, Ruining Seasons

Well, I guess it was more of Dennis Dixon’s knee ruining the season, with Arizona taking advantage while he was out. What really pisses me off is that Arizona sucks at football, and nobody on campus cares about their football team, so their wins go to waste. Think about it — if you’re only going…Read More

Cal Tree Hugger Falls, Breaks Wrist

They’re so depressed in Strawberry Canyon right now about the football team going from national title contender to a four-loss squad in a matter of a few short weeks, that the protestors are jumping out of the branches to try and commit suicide. OK, maybe not. But those same Berkeley tree-dwellers that freaked out all…Read More

Has Karl Dorrell Lived His Last Life?

Of all the disappointing seasons under Karl Dorrell — and there have been many — this year might be the most excusable. Down to a third and fourth string QB at times would hamper any team, program, and coach. It’s hard enough to win with a backup — but a backup to a backup? Yeah,…Read More

Nice 48-0 Orange Bowl Farewell Miami

After crushing Ohio State the way I just did, I would be remiss if I also didn’t touch on the pathetic display by my Canes on Saturday. In their last home game ever at the Orange Bowl, Miami got blitzed 48-0 by Virginia. Virginia. Not a powerhouse program, but a mediocre one like Virginia. I…Read More

Finally Ohio State Loses Sparing Us All

I don’t think I’ve been less enthusiastic about a team recently than Ohio State. Ever since getting run off the field by a one-loss Florida squad in the title game last year, I’ve thought very little of them. Once that happened, nothing accomplished in the Big Ten could impress me. Think about it; Ohio State…Read More

Maryland Mascot Getting Bar-Mitvah’d

I guess I’ve completely missed the boat (arc?) on this one. Dan Steinberg of the famed DC Sports Bog passes along news that the Maryland Terps mascot, Testudo, is set to have a Bar Mitzvah in the near future. What I hadn’t realized what that this was a common trend. Per Steinz: In the fall…Read More

Nebraska Deserved 76 Points on Them

I had a caller over the weekend crying on the phone because Nebraska got blown out by Kansas Saturday. How could they dare hang 76 on his beloved Cornhuskers, he whined? Well, on the same weekend that Notre Dame suffered the ultimate form of disappointment — losing to Navy at home for the first time…Read More

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