If I didn’t know any better, I’d say Meyer were the coach of the Texas State Armadillos. But I guess when you’ve won a title recently, you can do pretty much anything you want. So in some new form of campus outreach, Meyer’s holding tryouts where he’s asking Florida students to run the 40. The 15 fastest students will be brought back on Saturday to race against Meyer’s three fastest players — Louis Murphy, Chris Rainey, and Deonte Thompson. If any one of the students beats a player, they will receive a full scholarship. Considering the top three students ran 4.47, 4.48, and 4.49, I’d be slightly worried if I were Meyer. Think about it: one slip, and one of these students could easily win. Either that or they could try jamming a rocket up their ass.
Meyer is trying to brand his squad as “the fastest team in America.” I get that. You may have thought I was joking with the title, but Urban’s truly trying to market his team as such in order to attract a certain type of recruit. The team is playing its spring game on Saturday and it will be televised by ESPN. No doubt they’ll be talking about the races and showing footage of them. Personally, I think a scholarship should be awarded if one of the players outruns an actual gator. Now that would make for some good TV. Almost as good as Ocho Cinco racing a horse.