Urban Meyer’s New Recruiting Methods

If I didn’t know any better, I’d say Meyer were the coach of the Texas State Armadillos. But I guess when you’ve won a title recently, you can do pretty much anything you want. So in some new form of campus outreach, Meyer’s holding tryouts where he’s asking Florida students to run the 40. The 15 fastest students will be brought back on Saturday to race against Meyer’s three fastest players — Louis Murphy, Chris Rainey, and Deonte Thompson. If any one of the students beats a player, they will receive a full scholarship. Considering the top three students ran 4.47, 4.48, and 4.49, I’d be slightly worried if I were Meyer. Think about it: one slip, and one of these students could easily win. Either that or they could try jamming a rocket up their ass.

Meyer is trying to brand his squad as “the fastest team in America.” I get that. You may have thought I was joking with the title, but Urban’s truly trying to market his team as such in order to attract a certain type of recruit. The team is playing its spring game on Saturday and it will be televised by ESPN. No doubt they’ll be talking about the races and showing footage of them. Personally, I think a scholarship should be awarded if one of the players outruns an actual gator. Now that would make for some good TV. Almost as good as Ocho Cinco racing a horse.

Ryan Perrilloux Rolls with Strippers, Calls Waiter ‘Osama’?

LSU QB Ryan Perrilloux won’t be allowed to participate in the team’s Spring Game on Saturday, but his status with the team is fine, according to Les Miles. You better get used to his name because you’re going to be hearing it a lot throughout the fall. That is, long as he stays out of trouble from restaurants (and in general), which he seems to have a difficult time of doing. Matter of fact, already boasting a pretty sizable rap sheet, Perrilloux was busy adding on to it recently.

Another employee at Kona Grill confirmed Wednesday that Ryan Perrilloux was involved in a verbal altercation at the restaurant, saying the junior quarterback called a server “Osama.”

Perrilloux entered the restaurant with an unidentified former LSU football player and three employees from Crazy Horse Cabaret, the anonymous employee said.

The restaurant has since allegedly received phone calls from Miles and Perrilloux to apologize for the incident. Meanwhile, a recent report says the Kona Grill is denying anything happened. Sounds to me like they’ve kissed and made up. I’m going to go ahead and believe most of the first report. And really, who would lie about a line like Osama? My one question is how the server knew the chicks were from the Crazy Horse. He must spend a lotta time in strip clubs if that’s the case. I’m guessing Perrilloux doesn’t make it through the entire season without a transgression.

The photo used above is actually a poster from site reader/commenter Jeff’s company called LA Pop Art. Check out LA Pop Art to see their variety of collegiate athletic posters which actually have the words to the school’s fight songs written out as part of the poster’s artwork. Check out a few more samples after the jump:

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Bobby Petrino Too Scared to Play Texas

I think this story slipped by nearly everyone, well, with the exception of The Wiz and my man Arnie Spanier at Sporting News Radio. According to the Austin Statesman, Arkansas called over to Texas to ask about canceling their scheduled game for ’09, the back end of a home-and-home series. The teams will meet this coming season in Austin, a home game for Texas, but Bobby Petrino’s backing out of the game in ’09. One has to wonder why Arkansas would cancel a future home game against a notable opponent, but the answer became clear: Bobby Petrino is a manipulative weenie when it comes down to it.

Apparently Arkansas will begin playing Texas A&M in the Dallas Cowboys’ new stadium in Arlington beginning in ’09, scoring a major payday for each team. The paper says Arkansas does not want to have both Texas and Texas A&M on their non-conference schedule in the same season. I think we saw this season that having a creampuff schedule is the way to go these days in college football, given the success of Kansas and Ohio State to name a few. I could easily understand it if coaches tell their ADs to start scheduling patsies in the future. But to come right out and ask to cancel a game with a tough opponent? That spells wussie, chicken, puss, whatever you can think of. Certainly seems like Bobby Petrino’s M.O, so I can’t really say I’m surprised.

East Carolina’s Chris Johnson Is Fast

When you think of East Carolina, I’m not sure exactly what comes to mind. I’m guessing it’s not football, though David Garrard has done a lot to change that recently. Maybe you will think of athletics because of Kings SG Kevin Martin, though he played for Western Carolina. Or maybe, just maybe, running back Chris Johnson will change all that. Turns out he was the fastest player at the NFL combine, burning up a 4.24 40 time. I’m ordinarily not too impressed by combine stats because I don’t believe they’re significant in the overall evaluation of a player, but this video was too cool to pass up. Check out Johnson’s highlight reel from ECU:

Maybe it was just the competition, but damn, CJ sure looked like he was in Madden jamming on the turbo button heavily against a crappy defense. Dude just looked FAST.

If you liked that video, this Joey Gathright/Adrian Wilson jumping video will blow your mind. Talk about athletes with just freakish ability, man.

Police Trim Berkeley Tree-Hugger Homes

You may have thought you were reading some important stuff here over the past seven weeks. You were wrong. The year wasn’t officially christened until we had our first Berkeley tree-hugger update of 2008. If you remember, at last check, one of the tree-huggers had fallen out of his humble domain humpty-dumpty style, broken limbs everywhere. Well be happy that all has been set right in this world. Police hired some arborists to roll up in there Nino Brown style and cut down the tree-hugger homes:

The arborist climbed into the grove about 6 a.m. and cut most of the ropes connecting the half-dozen platforms the tree-sitters have built in the foliage. The arborist also took down one of the platforms, which was uninhabited.

“They cut a s- bucket and it fell to the ground and exploded,” said Erik Eisenberg, 39, a leader of the tree-sitters’ ground crew who goes by the name Ayr. “They’ve made things less safe and less sanitary. All they’re trying to do is harass and intimidate us.”

Dude, honestly, Erik, you live in an effing tree. You have no say in the matter. That’s like losing your right to vote. And maybe someone should welcome these cats to the 21st century. You know, an era in which we have plumbing and take advantage of this new invention called … wait for it … toilets. Now there’s a heck of a thought.

Rick Neuheisel to Use Harsher Penalties

It doesn’t take me saying it for you to know that the biggest concern about Rick Neuheisel is his controversial past. He left Washington amidst an NCAA tournament pool issue, and his reign at UW was marred with trouble, as recently chronicled by the Seattle Times. That’s the big reason why he didn’t have any head coaching opportunities after getting booted from U-Dub in ’03, and why UCLA seemed reluctant to hire him. Now contrast Neuheisel to the recently fired Karl Dorrell, who about the only positive compliment one could give about the program he ran was that it was clean. Now don’t get me wrong, I want a clean program. But I want the program to be clean, and successful at the same time. And luckily for Bruin fans, looks like the man formerly known as “Slick Rick” has learned his lesson and will be changing his ways. He reflected on his times at Washington:

“Out of all of this, that’s my biggest regret,” Neuheisel said. He gave a painful look. “I should have made that penalty stiffer. I had an opportunity to send a loud and clear message and neglected to do so. I should have been stronger.”

“I didn’t give out huge penalties in the first place,” he said, leaning forward. But now, “I can see the value of stiff penalties in the future, when they are warranted.”

Those quotes are from an article by Kurt Streeter in the LA Times. Streeter closed by saying Bruins fans need to hold Neuheisel to those words, and I completely agree. As long as he’s learned a lesson or two, or three about enforcing harsher penalties and being stricter, I think we’re in business. Hopefully he appreciates this opportunity to the point where he won’t make those mistakes. Kelvin Sampson couldn’t keep his hand out of the cell phone jar. Hopefully Neuheisel doesn’t have Sampson’s disease.

Great Story: Terry Bowden and Bobby Bowden Fought Over Recruits

I’m a big sucker for great anecdotes, and this would not be an exception. Joining Roc and Manuch on Sporting News Radio Sunday was former Auburn head coach and current college football analyst, Terry Bowden. Terry was breaking down the recruiting scene in light of the recent national signing day. He was asked to share his favorite recruiting story, one that would properly delineate the intense level of competition between the coaches. His anecdote was priceless:

Recruiting against my father in 1994, the No. 1 player in the state of Florida was a kid named Martavius Houston — he was a great player for me at Auburn. He had narrowed his decision down to Florida State and Auburn. That last week I was able to make my one official home visit and the last night possible, I go in there at 6pm. And I’m walking out at 7:30, and a stretch limousine pulled up in front of the house. I had a town car and thought I was fancy. A stretch limousine pulled up in front, driver lets out my old man. He walks up to the front porch, he says hello to momma, he shakes the boy’s hand, and he pats me on the head and he said ‘Terry, when you get home, your momma wants you to call.’ That was all he said! That’s dirty recruiting right there; that tells you how ugly it is.

Great story. Turns out Houston went to Auburn and had a good career there, though he didn’t do anything in the NFL. I also came to find that Terry wrote about this same story for the first time in print a few days ago at Yahoo! Sports in case you want to see a full version of it. Great, great, story. Gotta love Bobby — he’s always struck me as the type to get the perfect zinger. He would make George Costanza jealous.

Personal Sidenote: If Bobby Bowden were to ever sit in my living room and recruit me, my answer would be an unequivocal “yes.” I don’t care if he were pitching me to jump out of a plane in hopes of saving a manatee — that dude’s a legend. I’d run through cement walls for his ass.