Apparently Tila Tequila Is No Fan of Threesomes with Shawne Merriman

When this story first came down Sunday morning, we gave Shawne Merriman the edge when it came down to whose side to believe between him and Tila Tequila. Sure Shawne’s a roider but Tila’s a grade-A attention whore who also happened to be drunk. That’s a nightmarish combo. Well surprise surprise, it sounds like a drunk-ass Tila caused most of the issues here. From KGTV-San Diego via Pro Football Talk:

Witnesses at Merriman’s home said the three-time Pro Bowl linebacker went to his bedroom with two women.

Sources said Tequila walked into the room and Merriman asked her to join them. However, the sources said Tequila reacted angrily and threatened to have sex with a member of Merriman’s entourage. According to sources, Tequila was intoxicated, and she got naked and attempted to leave the house. Sources told [News 10 reporter] Vara that Merriman, 25, tried to stop the 27-year-old Tequila, and that is when she called 911.

TILA TEQUILA PICS (aka Merriman’s crazy broad)

tila-tequila-white-bikini-sex-hair tila_tequila_bikinitop5 Shot-at-Love-Tila-Tequila-01 tila-tequila-topless

Yeah, that sounds about right to me. Well Merriman certainly gets what he asked for; you don’t mess around with Tila Tequila if you’re not looking to get into some sort of a mess. And who’s to blame him for suggesting some menage action? Wasn’t Tila’s show a bisexual dating show? Exactly. Drunk ass *****s.

Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan Collaborate in Jam Video

My man HG over at You Been Blinded posted a video of Michael Jackson teaching Michael Jordan how to dance some time last year. Who knew that would become such a time treasure a matter of mere months later? Typically I don’t mix non-sports stuff in here on the site, but even LBS was a fan of the King of Pop (I feel so much more vindicated for having MJ in the iPod all these years now). So when I came across this video on YouTube again I felt I had to post it. Kind of cool to watch two of the best in the world at their specific trades interact:

Is it amazing or what that Jordan could be that stiff dancing and that Jackson could be so uncoordinated at basketball? I always thought athletics and dance moves went hand-in-hand. Guess I was wrong. Man, it’s almost hard to decide who was better at what he did. I’d say they were pretty much equals and bless them for working so hard at what they did for our enjoyment.

Video: Mr. T Singing at Wrigley Field for 7th Inning Stretch, Throws First Pitch

Dude, you want to talk about people who have aged, Mr. T looked more like Kimbo Slice’s grandfather than the dude who played Clubber Lang. Anyway, Mr. T actually was at Wrigley Field on Memorial Day to run the traditional gauntlet of throwing out the first pitch and singing Take Me Out to the Ballgame for the 7th inning stretch. Check out the old man in action:

As you heard Scott Van Pelt clowning in the video, the outfit just needs to go. If he can’t afford all the gold jewelry anymore, then he should get with 2009 and just throw on a pair of jeans or something instead of those ridiculous pants. The Best of the Best headband was so 1989 too. And if the wardrobe wasn’t enough, I think barking the lyrics to Take Me Out to the Ballgame is a little much. Dude, you’re leading the song, not ordering us to sing. Take it easy!

(video via Total Pro Sports)

So That Madonna’s Looking Pretty Hot

I’ve already touched on Alex Rodriguez’s pretty crappy taste in women. Just in case you had some vision of Madonna looking hot and sexy from one of her 80s music videos, let me give you a taste of what she looks like now.

Honestly A-Rod, you’re telling me you’re really into that? Yeeesh. She’s looking like Carrot Top with a bleach job. Yuck.

ESPYs Promoting Sober-Driving

One of the absolutely coolest things about attending events like the Oscars and the ESPYs are the gift bags you get as party favors. I mean these things are serious fun bags, like more so than Salma Hayek’s. One of my co-workers made it known today that the Oscars gift bag is valued at a minimum of $50,000. That’s freaking crazy. How is that possible, you ask? Well, just take a look inside the ESPYs VIP gift bag, which by my loose count exceeds $10k with ease. Awful Announcing did some great leg work in bringing the ESPYs VIP bag to my attention and it was the second item on the list that caught my eye more than all. Ready for this one? The ESPYs are providing all VIP guests a premium breathalyzer from AlcoMate. Nice. Let’s just hope they gave a few extras to Carmelo Anthony, Brandon Marshall, and Tony La Russa.

Oddly enough, one of the other gifts is six bottles of Zaca Mesa wine. A bit of a mixed message, no? But did you see some of those gifts? My favorite might be the one from Chipotle where you can get a free burrito a week for a year. Cosmo Kramer is all about it, no doubt. Some of the other posh gifts include a free membership for a year to one of the four Sports Club locations. To the best of my knowledge, membership to the LA Sports Club is several thousand dollars (like 10) a year. That’s where A-Rod lifted while he was in town and where he goes in NYC. Honestly though, just what a bunch of athletes pulling down $5 million a year need — giftcards to Subway. Please.

David Ortiz Rolls with Captain Morgan

I’ve said it before, some pictures are worth a thousand words. This would be one of them.

Somehow I don’t think this would be funny if it were any other player, but being Big Papi, it all of a sudden becomes funny. Of course I could be overstating things, but he just cracks me up. Anyone else catch the way he has his leg kicked up to imitate Captain Mo? And in case you were wondering, that’s Maria Menounos on the left. She’s like Jacoby Ellsbury — definitely overhyped, but good enough to play a key role on the team. Nice to see Papi’s recovering well from his wrist injury, too.

(pic courtesy Marion Curtis/Startraks)

Jose Canseco Knocked Out in Fight with Vai Sikahema

OK, so I know I was clamoring for a Jose Canseco/Curt Schilling boxing match, but instead we had to settle for Canseco getting his ass knocked out by Vai Sikahema. The two fought in Atlantic City after Sikahema accepted the challenge — Canseco had been offering 5 grand for someone to fight him. The 5,000 capacity stands were only about a quarter full according to the Atlantic City Press, with most fans there to support boxers on the undercard.

As for the action in case you were wondering, Jose Canseco got his ass knocked the **** out. No surprise. Sikahema came at him like a bull from the opening bell, knocking him down twice before the fight was finally stopped after Sikahema slammed Canseco with a flurry of punches. Ringside reports say the fight lasted slightly longer than Canseco’s stint with the Devil Rays. Sikahema was just disappointed he didn’t end the fight within 30 seconds. Maybe next time, buddy. Hopefully Canseco can now make a mortgage payment with the paycheck he pulled for getting his brains beat in. Sounds like a great business model.