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Susan Finklestein’s Lawyer: She Was a Slut, Not a Prostitute

Susan FinklesteinSusan Finklestein is the Philadelphia woman who famously (infamously?) offered sex for Phillies World Series tickets. Here’s how her ad read: “DESPERATE BLONDE NEEDS WS TIX (Philadelphia) Diehard Phillies fan–gorgeous tall buxom blonde– in desperate need of two World Series Tickets. Price negotiable— I’m the creative type! Maybe we can help each other!” That sounds pretty clearly like a prostitution solicitation, but I’m no judge. Nor am I a lawyer, much less one who came up with one of the more bizarre defenses I’ve ever encountered. Check out what William J. Brennan is using as a defense of his client, as shared by the Philadelphia Inquirer via FanHouse:

“You can be a slut; that’s not illegal,” Brennan argued at a hearing this afternoon. “Here you have to be in the business of prostitution” to have broken the law.

But [Judge] Cepparulo ruled that the allegations against Finkel fit one legal description of prostitution: engaging or attempting to engage “in sexual activities as a business.”

Honestly, do lawyers have no self respect? Did he really just try to invoke the “she’s a slut” defense? How is this anything other than prostitution? It’s no different from a porn star asking someone to escort her to a Phoenix Coyotes game. There’s no defense for prostitution and this only gives sluts a bad name.

Mancrunch Gets Publicity from Canceled Super Bowl Ad

The biggest debates in the week leading up to the Super Bowl had little to do with football and everything to do with politics. First, Tim Tebow became the center of attention because he’s the spokesman for a commercial espousing a Pro Life stance on abortion. That caused a stir amongst the Pro Choice supporters of America. While it looks like that ad will air, CBS has exercised its veto right on a few other submissions. They’ve rejected one of five submissions by Go Daddy for reasons unbeknownst to me. More controversially, CBS has rejected an ad proposed by the gay dating site Mancrunch. The ad isn’t as graphic as I initially expected based on what I read:

The genius behind this whole proposition is that Mancrunch is getting about as much publicity as they could have dreamed to receive, all without paying the million dollar tab to CBS (there’s probably a submission/review fee, but it’s not as high as the price of the ad). They’re even getting it from this very post and that’s all without doing anything other than producing a rejected ad! Here’s something I don’t understand: how is it that CBS approves a Pro Life commercial but rejects one for a gay dating website? I didn’t see anything inappropriate nor graphic in the ad — what’s the problem? If you’re deciding that political messages have no place on a sports platform I understand that. But if you’re approving a commercial regarding abortion, then why not let a gay dating site ad run? I don’t have a problem with either one.

Most Ill-Timed Sports Injuries

When Colt McCoy got hurt on Texas’ first series in the BCS National Championship Game, the entire complexion of the contest had changed. With one hit, it was as if Texas’ chance of winning the game had ended and that sentiment seemed to be confirmed when Bama’s defense began abusing freshman quarterback Garrett Gilbert, McCoy’s backup. Although Gilbert rallied Texas to within a field goal with six minutes left, Bama ultimately prevailed by forcing five turnovers in their 37-21 win. The events that transpired on Thursday night got me wondering about other injuries to a player that meant as much as McCoy does to Texas, which also happened to take place on a stage as big as a National Championship Game. While McCoy’s injury tops the list, here are some others I could think of. Feel free to add to this list in the comments.

Carson Palmer knee injuryCarson Palmer injures his knee vs Steelers in ’05 AFC playoffs

It was the Bengals first playoff game in 15 years and their star quarterback got hurt on his first pass play of the game. Kimo von Oelhoffen dove into Palmer’s knee and absolutely shredded every ligament he had. Jon Kitna came on and went 24-40 for 197 yards, one touchdown and two picks. The Bengals lost 31-17 and the Steelers went on to win the Super Bowl.

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Chad Ochocinco Is a Kama Sutra Master

Dodgers All-Star catcher Russell Martin may have blamed Kama Sutra for an injury but Bengals receiver Chad Ochocinco is citing it as evidence of his health. The Bengals wacky receiver hurt his knee in warm-ups at Giants Stadium on Sunday night, slipping on the frozen turf. He hardly played in the game against the Jets so that left his status for Saturday’s playoff game (also against the Jets) in doubt. That was until Ocho cleared things up:

“I had sex yesterday,” the Bengals receiver said. “With some of the moves I did — I should be fine.”

Ochocinco returned to more conventional rehab yesterday, getting treatment and practicing fully.

I’m sure Ocho’s kids will appreciate reading that. You know that filter which most people have that prevents them from saying stupid and embarrassing things? It’s quote obvious that Chad lacks that filter. But we love him for it. By the way Chad, we’re all still waiting on those Chad Ochocinco condoms for your Johnson to be released in stores. Where are they?

Greatest Sports Contest Ever

One of the biggest hits here at LBS came last year when we got a hold of a video showing the RCA Dome in Indianapolis getting blown to smithereens. Lucas Oil Stadium had been built by then so there wasn’t much of a use for the RCA Dome after that. A similar situation is going on with the Cowboys who moved from their old home in Irving to their new home in Arlington. With Jerry World in full effect — low-hanging scoreboard and all — there isn’t much of a use for Texas Stadium. Naturally they’ve decided to do what any sane person would do to a useless stadium — blow it up. And Kraft Foods is holding a contest to see who receives the honor of jumping on the dynamite lever!

As part of the deal, Kraft will pay Irving a $75,000 sponsorship fee prior to the demolition for charities selected by the city. The company will also provide worth of $75,000 Kraft products for local charities of its choosing.

Next week, Kraft will launch a national essay contest for children as part of its promotional campaign … the winner will get to trigger the detonator at the public demolition.

Count me in. I don’t care what needs to be done to win this contest … I will do it. I’ve been dying for a Wile E. Coyote moment my entire life and this could be it! Greatest contest ever!

Gareth Thomas: First Gay Rugby Player

Even though it’s 2010 approaching, we still haven’t seen any star athletes come out of the closet and admit their homosexuality while they were playing. That’s somewhat surprising considering how progressive we view ourselves as a society. While the U.S. may be lagging, the U.K. is now ahead of the curve considering a recent development on the rugby front. Welsh star rugby player (from what I’m told) Gareth Thomas finally had enough of hiding who he was and revealed his homosexuality. He said it tormented him for years:

‘I was like a ticking bomb. I thought I could suppress it, keep it locked away in some dark corner of myself, but I couldn’t. It was who I was, and I just couldn’t ignore it any more. I’d been through every emotion under the sun trying to deal with this. You wake up one morning thinking: “I can handle it. Everything is fine,” and the next morning you don’t want anyone to see your face, because you think that if people look at you, they will know.’

‘It’s been really tough for me, hiding who I really am, and I don’t want it to be like that for the next young person who wants to play rugby, or some frightened young kid. I don’t know if my life is going to be easier because I’m out, but if it helps someone else, if it makes one young lad pick up the phone to ChildLine, then it will have been worth it.

Thomas may have been living a lie for quite some time but at least he finally came out and admitted the truth. It will probably be much easier to be happy with himself now. My question is how long before the first major sports figure comes out and reveals his homosexuality in the U.S.. The percentages suggest it has to be the case, and Gareth Thomas’ example proves even the most masculine athletes can be gay.

Tiger Woods Gets Made Fun of at Jacksonville Jaguars Game

Another gem was unloaded by Extra Mustard on Monday. It appears that there was a skit put on at Jacksonville Municipal Stadium Sunday when the Jags played the Texans. Yes, that’s a person in a tiger costume wearing a red shirt and black hat getting chased by a blond wielding a golf club. Sound familiar?

Man, that’s just cold. I guess you can say they were playing to the local audience with that one. It’s full-on Tiger joke time now making you think people are just compensating for all the years of kissing Woods’ butt.