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Tracy Porter Got a Family Guy Haircut for Seahawks Game (Picture)

I think it’s safe to say Tracy Porter takes the following things seriously: his haircuts, his next opponent, and Family Guy.  If you remember, Porter had the SB44 logo shaved into his head before the big game last year and went on to be the hero with his late-game interception.  Tracy was at it again on Sunday, this time with a specialized design aimed at his opponent, the Seahawks.  Here’s a picture of Tracy Porter’s Family Guy haircut, courtesy of Deadspin:

That’s some quality artwork right there.  Porter didn’t record an interception, so the haircut may not have worked the same magic as it did in the Super Bowl.  However, the Saints won 34-19, so I’m sure his teammates will want him to keep the buzzes coming.

Ron Artest Says He’ll Try Out for the NFL When His Contract Expires

Sometimes even professional athletes can lose sight of the fact that you need more than just size, strength, and athletic ability to excel in a professional sport.  Brandon Marshall has already insisted he’ll play in the NBA if there’s an NFL lockout next season.  Marshall pretty much implied he’d be able to pick the team he played for, and while Ron Artest is choosing to be less pompous about it he has a similar idea in mind.

In an interview with CBSSports.com, Artest said he won’t be looking for another NBA contract when his current deal with the Lakers expires in 2014.  Instead, he’ll take his talents to the NFL for a tryout at the tender age of 35.

God willing, after my NBA career, God willing I’m still athletic enough – which I’m trying to take care of my body as best as possible and be prepared for this day, for this tryout of an NFL team,” Artest said. “… It’s a fantasy of mine. It’s an opportunity because I’m athletic. So if that fantasy can be fulfilled, and if it’s something that can really be reached as far as a goal, I’m going for it.”

Everyone knows 35-year-old men make the best football players, right?  Give Artest some credit for having a dream and wanting to stick to it, but even he must know how ridiculous it is to think an NFL team would sign a 35-year-old basketball player.  Even if he were in great shape, why risk signing a certified nut job?  But hey, like they always say — a man can dream.  Artest seems like a guy with plenty of them.

Chris Bosh ‘Like a Bosh’ Song/Video is Absolutely Hilarious

Aside from his multimillion dollar contract, it’s not easy being Chris Bosh at the moment.  The Miami Heat are off to a slow start and much of that is being pinned on their big man.  He’s been crucified for talking about things like wanting to be on TV and for standing back while Rajon Rondo dunks on him.  The latest piece of anti-Bosh propaganda tops them all.  That’s because it pretty much sums up everything that Bosh has done and can be made fun of for over the past year.  Check out the “Like a Bosh” music video from The Basketball Jones on Vimeo:

Definitely the funniest spoof video we’ve seen since the Brett Favre SNL commercial.  If you’ve seen the original “Like a Boss” video from Andy Samberg and The Lonely Island you’ll probably appreciate the brilliance of this one even more.  Bravo, Basketball Jones.  Bravo.

Tom Brady’s Hair Should No Longer Be Compared to Justin Bieber’s

Don’t get excited.  Tom Brady didn’t get a haircut.  He still has the same long, flowing locks he’s had since the beginning of the season.  However, it’s time to face the facts, folks — Brady no longer has the Justin Bieber haircut.

It may be fun to rag on Tom for looking like a pretty boy and toting around his super model wife’s tiny dog, but it’s time to let the Justin Bieber comparisons go.  Take it from one who knows.  I’m not proud of it by any stretch of the imagination, but I grew my hair out for a short period of time back in high school and it too was in the Justin Bieber phase at one point.

You see, everyone that grows their hair out hits what most call the “awkward phase” during the growth period.  It’s that point where the hair is kind of matted down against your forehead and over your ears and not quite long and flowing like a female’s, which — sadly — seems to be the goal.  The cut that Bieber has become famous for is permanently in the “awkward phase.”  That’s the Biebs’ style.  Brady has gotten beyond it.

Look at the above photos.  The similarities are all but gone.  We can still crap all over Brady for flipping his hair to the side and looking like a feminine little pansy on the sidelines.  Justin Bieber can rap about it all he wants, but the truth of the matter is the two hairstyles are no longer the same.

Tom Brady and Paul Pierce Are Close to Obese on the BMI Scale

What’s the point of knowing a person’s body mass index, or BMI?  A recent report by WCVB in Boston proves that there really isn’t one.  After a woman from Amesbury, Mass. was denied health insurance coverage on a knee operation because her BMI is 33, WCVB shed some perspective on what is considered “obese” on the BMI scale.

It turns out two of their local heroes, Tom Brady and Paul Pierce, are easily overweight and nearly obese.  A BMI of 25.0 to 29.9 is considered overweight while 30.0+ is considered obese.  Brady’s BMI is 27.4 and Pierce’s is 26.5.  Apparently they’re a couple of fatties.

Of course there are exceptions, and athletes who pack on the pounds and build muscle for a living are certainly some of them.  BMI is essentially a ratio of height-to-weight, so it’s understandable that athletes would tread the line between average and overweight.  The point is the BMI scale is completely ridiculous — especially if it’s being used as a deciding factor in insurance coverage.  Are Tom Brady and Paul Pierce obese?  If the answer is “yes” or anything close to “yes,” sign me up for a weight-gaining class.

New England’s Bret Lockett Misspells “Patriots” on Decorated Denim

Last week at the Elizabeth Glaser Kids for Kids Celebrity Carnival, New England Patriots safety Bret Lockett designed a pair of denim jeans for his nephew at American Eagle’s 77kids denim decorating booth.  Nice gesture, right?  Let’s just say I hope the nephew is too young to spell.

As told by the NY Post, Lockett misspelled the word “Patriots” and instead wrote “Go Patrits” on the back pocket of the jeans.  Maybe he forgot the “O” because he plays defense?  Wow, terrible joke.  In all seriousness though, I know how that goes.  Sometimes you just get so caught up in the bedazzling that you forget how to spell and the glue dries and then it’s too late.  No, but seriously in all seriousness, we’ll give Lockett the benefit of the doubt just for attending the event, which was a benefit for pediatric AIDS research.

Nick Saban Yells At, Spanks Freshman Quarterback A.J. McCarron (Video)

I guess part of what makes a great coach a great coach is never missing a teachable moment.  With his Alabama Crimson Tide leading Mississippi State, 30-3, Nick Saban decided to give his redshirt freshman quarterback, A.J. McCarron, a few reps.  McCarron passed for 50 yards and rushed for -10 during his limited action, but it appeared Saban wasn’t all that pleased with his performance. Either that, or he was way too please.  You be the judge.  Check out the video of Nick Saban spanking A.J. McCarron:

That’s a straight up “I told you to be home before the street lights came on!” ass-warming right there.  Thanks to Deadspin and YouTube user SportsAndSuch for the video.