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Explaining the Athlete Dong Phenomenon: It’s a Members Only Thing

Louis Daguerre must be doing McTwists in his grave by now. When the Frenchman put into process what we now know as photographs in 1837, little did he know what his creation would produce some 170 years later. Unless you have just returned from a jaunt through Waziristan or you were one of the thirty-three miners interred in the San Jose mine in Chile for the last 2 months, you are probably very much aware of the scandal enveloping the life of Brett Favre now.

From the time of our earliest ancestor’s drawing on cave walls to the ancient Egyptians, there have been, let’s say, “colorful” depictions of the human body portrayed in society. An eleventh century wood cut was not as easily posted on Facebook or MySpace as it is today, however. That brings us to the modern day, where athletes have taken certainly liberties with technology and have celebrated the new features added to their mobile phones by presenting themselves to the world in a whole new light.

It seems like a growing number of professional athletes, ranging from George Hill and Greg Oden to David Aardsma have found their name linked with pictures of their appendage splashed all over the Internet. Any modicum of intelligence these players were assumed to have had has seemingly disappeared, taking any sense of shame with it. But, no one would confuse George Hill for George Mikan, Greg Oden for Greg Maddux. The Hall of Famers operate on a different wavelength, right?

Well that might have been the case up until recently, when cell phone pictures purportedly showing Brett Favre’s johnson joined the long list of wilsons that have unfortunately found their way into the pubic, er, public domain. Of course, for now, Brett’s name in this matter comes with the modifier “allegedly” close behind due to a lack of irrefutable evidence. However, there have been no denials or statements to the contrary from any of the parties involved. There have been many tearful apologies in sports lately, but all that has come from Mr. Favre are oddly phrased responses like, “I’ve got my hands full with the Jets,” which have caused many snickers and have sent New York headline writers into apoplectic fit.

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Good News Golfers and Crappers: The Potty Putter is Real (Video)

I don’t think I’ve ever wanted something that I saw on an infomercial this badly.  When I tell you my putting it horrible, I mean like probably worse than anyone you’ve ever seen.  Let’s just say if it’s a par 4 and I’m on the green in two, getting a seven isn’t out of the question.  That’s why I ordered the Potty Putter as soon as Sports by Brooks brought it to my attention, and you can too!  If this thing doesn’t shave a couple strokes off your game and turn you into the guy everyone wants on their team in a best ball tournament, I don’t know what will.  Feast your eyes on the Potty Putter infomercial video:

Needless to say, Christmas has come early for me this year.

Police Apologize to Pacman Jones After Mistakenly Arresting Him

Nothing like adding another chapter to the many adventures of Adam “Pacman” Jones.  Believe it or not, Jones actually did nothing wrong during his most recent run-in with police officers after the Bengals-Bucs game on Sunday.  Believe me, I wouldn’t be buying it if the Cincinnati Police weren’t selling it.

As SbB live points out, Cincinnati Police admitted on Tuesday that they arrested and put Pacman Jones in handcuffs by mistake on Sunday.  Apparently, Jones was in a turn only lane and started going straight which caused his car to almost hit another.  In order to avoid a crash, he swerved onto the sidewalk and caused a pedestrian to fall.  No one was injured but it sounds like a bonehead driving maneuver from Pacman if the report is accurate.

A detail cop ran over to where it all happened and thought there had been an accident, so she ran Pacman’s license and found a warrant out for a man by the name of Adam Jones.  After she handcuffed Pacman, the dispatcher let the officer know that it was not the Jones who plays for the Bengals.

The police have since personally apologized to Pacman and Marvin Lewis for the mistake.  It’s amazing how trouble just seems to follow some people whether they’re at fault or not.  I’m sure the swarm of people who gathered around a handcuffed Pacman were thinking “here we go again.”  Fortunately for the Bengals, their list of arrests will stay where it was (around a few hundred) for the time being.

CSN Philly’s Darren Daulton Caught Wearing Shorts at News Desk (Picture)

We’ve heard rumors for quite a long time that reporters who sit at a news desk the entire time they’re on TV oftentimes choose not to wear pants.  Instead, they wear shorts to be more comfortable.  The idea seems far-fetched and sounds like one that a network wouldn’t go for, but apparently it’s not unheard of.  Check out this picture of CSN Philly’s Darren Daulton wearing no pants, courtesy of Sports by Brooks.

Personally, I have no problem with it.  If your boss says you can dress casually from the waist down, so be it.  However, someone dropped the ball here and wasn’t on the same page with everyone else.  I don’t know if it’s Daulton himself needing to tuck the leg in a little more or the cameraman shooting a bad angle.  Either way, I’m sure there are pantsless broadcasters all over the nation shaking their heads in disgust.

What Makes the Brett Favre and Jenn Sterger Saga Different from Tiger Woods

Back in August, Deadspin revealed allegations that quarterback Brett Favre sent text messages of his penis and left voicemails for a Jets female employee despite being married. This week, the website caused an even bigger stir when they released the alleged voicemails, cock shots, and myspace messages from Favre to Jenn Sterger, the former Jets employee.

This marks the second time in less than a year that one of our sports heroes has been involved in an improbable sex scandal. Much like the Tiger Woods scandal which started off with a National Enquirer report, people are doubting the truth of this incident.

At this point, most indications are that this tale indeed took place and that Brett Favre has been caught sexting another woman and attempting to cheat on his wife. So aside from the reticence of most media members to address this story, what makes it different from Tiger Woods?

Two factors, and I’ll explain each one.

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Ochocinco Publishes a Little (Alleged) Sexcapade on His Twitter Account

Depending on how much of a Chad Ochocinco fan you are, his Twitter account may have become a serious TMI situation for you on Thursday night.  Unless Chad is a complete liar — which I wouldn’t doubt — he went on a blind date with a 57-year-old woman.  It would appear he was keeping his partner in crime up to speed with all the happenings of the date via Twitter.  He Tweeted everything from who was paying for the meal to how they (allegedly) ended up in the sack together.  It sounds like this time Russell the Love Muscle was involved.  Want dirty details? He’s got those, too.  Check out some of these Tweets.

And for the grand finale…

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NFL Wants Senator Feingold to Remove Randy Moss Moon From Campaign Ad

The NFL has ordered Senator Russ Feingold (D-Wisc.) to remove a brief, but infamous, clip of Randy Moss pretending to moon the Lambeau Field crowd from his campaign ad.  I have to say, I’m with Shutdown Corner on this one in thinking the NFL is doing Feingold a favor.  I don’t even understand what he’s trying to get at and I’m sure people from Wisconsin don’t need to see that again.  See for yourself:

I’ll admit, I’ve done the same thing with a few school projects before.  A few of my friends and I have been known to see a sports clip or something and vow to force it into our PowerPoint presentation one way or another.  It usually goes over well with the sports fans in the class and is a complete miss with everyone else, oftentimes including the teacher.  That’s pretty much what I see happening here with Feingold’s campaign.