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Jared Allen vs. U.S. Military Dog: Take a Stab at Who Wins

If you guessed Jared Allen, I can’t say I’d blame you.  We all know Allen is one crazy s.o.b.  This is the same guy who offered his butt to Brett Favre in an attempt to persuade him to return to the Vikings.  It’s also the same guy who didn’t know who the Seattle Seahawks coach was at a time when he was on an NFL roster.  Oh yeah, and it just so happens to be the same guy who thought “schism” was an STD.  So if you thought he could take on a trained armed forces dog and win, you’d be forgiven.

Let’s just be thankful Allen was intelligent enough to wear a padded suit when he agreed to take part in a training activity on a recent visit with American troops in Afghanistan.  I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t want to wear the suit and the soldiers forced him to.  In any event, it appears the dog won.  Check out the photos of Jared Allen being taken down by a military dog, courtesy of Sportress of Blogitude.  Of course, Allen appeared to be enjoying himself.

JARED ALLEN MILITARY DOG ATTACK PHOTOS

Sources:
Here Are Photos Of Jared Allen Being Attacked By A Dog At A U.S. Military Base [Sportress of Blogitude]
Photo Credit: Jared Allen on Facebook

Floyd Mayweather’s Entourage Enjoys a Cockfight

Looks like we’ve figured out some more of what Floyd Mayweather Jr. has been doing while he avoids Manny Pacquiao. The 3rd highest-earning American athlete in 2010 is spending some time in Puerto Rico with his crew, and they’ve been videotaping various moments of their vacation. One of the spots they shot some footage from was a cockfighting arena called Club Gallistico de Puerto Rico.

I’m curious if Mayweather wagered his $50,000 iPod on a fight. I wouldn’t doubt it. Here’s the video of Floyd Mayweather’s crew at a cockfight, courtesy of You Been Blinded. You can’t actually see Floyd but if you look at YouTube user mig5353‘s videos you’ll see him. If you’re like me and find cockfighting to be disturbing, don’t bother watching.

Sources:
Floyd Mayweather Not Too Chicken For Cockfighting [You Been Blinded]
Video Credit: YouTube user mig5353

I Wish My Car Was Worth as Much as Floyd Mayweather’s iPod

No, I don’t have a car that’s worth less than $300. Floyd Mayweather Jr. just so happens to have an iPod that’s valued at $50,000.  Yeah, you read that correctly and no, I didn’t add any extra zeros.  Looks like Floyd has been using all the spare time he has from blowing off Manny Pacquiao to pimp his iPod.

Honestly, who has a diamond iPod?  The man who made the third most money of any American athlete over the past year, that’s who.  Thanks to F-Listed who brought our attention to Mayweather’s Twitter for the photo and accompanying Tweet that reads, “Any artist in my i-pod is platinum thanx to the case…lol.”

Brian Urlacher a Neo-Nazi?

Brian Urlacher may grab the occasional boob or violently swear at the mother of his child, but I’m fairly certain he isn’t a neo-Nazi. Just a hunch here, but my guess is we would have heard something about it by now if he were.  While he was probably joking and referencing his appearance, right-wing talk show host Glen Beck referred to Urlacher as a neo-Nazi in passing on his Fox talk show on Wednesday night.

According to SPORTS by BROOKS, Beck was responding to a list that was put together by the Washington Post company’s new website, The Root, which is intended for a black audience.  The list is entitled “The Blackest White Folks We Know” and Beck was included in it because he once gave a black history lesson on his show after discovering that African-Americans are often neglected in discussions of how America was founded.  In reviewing photos of the 33 people who made the list, Beck had only one quick thing to say about the Bears linebacker.   Check out the video of Glen Beck calling Brian Urlacher a neo-Nazi, courtesy of SPORTS by BROOKS via Gawker.TV:

Sources:
Beck On Urlacher: ‘I Think This Guy Is a Neo-Nazi’ [SPORTS by BROOKS]
Glenn Beck Compares Shirley Sherrod Debacle to 9/11 [Gawker.TV]

MMA Fighter Showing Us A Proper Choke Hold Using His Infant Child

Cue the outraged humanitarians and unfit parent comments.   Heck, go ahead and throw a few child abuse accusations in there while you’re at it. Before people overreact to this video like I’ve already seen a few commenters on other blogs doing, let’s remember it’s obvious Alan Belcher isn’t hurting his own baby.  The baby looks more confused than anything and it’s clearly all in good fun.  It’s actually pretty funny to watch her “what the hell is he doing to me?” face.  If Chuck Liddell can exercise in the nude, why can’t Belcher have a fun moment with his kid?  Without further ado, here’s a video of Alan Belcher demonstrating a rear naked choke hold on his infant daugter, courtesy of Middle Easy:

Sources:
SbB Live
Watch Alan Belcher rear naked choke an infant [Middle Easy]

Seth Meyers Goes Long on Greg Oden’s Schlong

Seth Meyers nailed it as the host of the 2010 ESPY’s. His opening monologue started off slowly but really picked up steam as he went along. The instant reaction from most twitter users was that Meyers killed it as host. Although he had some great lines such as his one about the Kardashian sisters, there was one that didn’t go over quite as well, probably because most people didn’t get it. The joke was about Greg Oden’s penis, which spread across the internet after some girl turned Oden in for sexting. Meyers mentioned the joke in the context of the John Isner/Nicolas Mahut 11-hour tennis match:

That match was so long that the ballboys became ballmen. That match was so long Greg Oden took a picture of it and sent it to his girlfriend … You may not care for that joke but all the proceeds from it went to the Boys and Girls Club of America. That match was so long that the only guys who ever spent more time on grass together were Cheech and Chong.

Meyers picked things back up after hearing crickets initially, getting in a shot at LeBron whose “Decision” show was billed as helping charity. One has to wonder if Meyers’ Oden penis joke would have made it onto TV had the show been edited like usual. Even if that’s the risk of airing the show live, I hope ESPN continues to air the ESPY’s live on Wednesday rather than on tape Sunday; it gives us sports fans something fun to look forward to during the All-Star break.

Seth Meyers Hosts the ESPYs … Really

So ESPN selected Seth Meyers to host the ESPY Awards 2010 … really. Because so many athletes don’t have games on Saturday nights nor are they out partying so they must all be familiar with Meyers … really. As a sports fan, you probably are wondering to yourself who this Seth Meyers guy is. Well, he’s a dude who’s from New Hampshire and apparently is a big Red Sox Fan. If you’re like me and unfamiliar with Meyers, he hosts the weekend update on Saturday Night Live along with Amy Poehler. He’s got some funny jokes and a pretty good delivery, but his job was made even more difficult because he had to host the show while it was live instead of tape delayed.

Meyers actually killed the monologue, getting more and more laughs as he went on. Meyers started off somewhat slowly, going after Shaun White whose coach was caught cussing on TV during the Olympics. After his start with White, Meyers rotated into the comfort zone of Brett Favre old jokes. The Favre jokes were pretty ordinary and you could tell that Deanna didn’t find them very funny. Luckily Meyers moved onto Tim Tebow to ease the tension. After a jersey-selling, Jesus joke, Meyers started to get his groove.

ESPN televising the LeBron decision became a hot topic which later was spoofed by Steve Carell and Paul Rudd. The LeBron decision was an easy target, but Meyers’ jokes weren’t anything special, and they resulted in some unamused faces from ESPN personalities Erin Andrews and Stuart Scott. When Meyers transitioned to the Lakers and eventually the World Cup, he started tearing it up. Meyers had an outstanding bit about Pau Gasol’s European look, cracking on Pau’s neck beard (not his man-purse), saying that we didn’t need any more reminders that Gasol was a Euro. It was towards the end of the Lakers bit that Meyers threw in what might have been his best line of the night, saying that the ESPYs are where sports and entertainment come together … like a Kardashian sister’s bedroom. That joke may have drawn the loudest roars from the crowd and was hilarious.

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