Your Chance to Own Tiger’s Apple Core

Hey look, I was fascinated by Tiger Woods coming out of a porto potty. It just gets me every time. That dude really does those things just like us? Given the reaction people had over Tiger coming out of a restroom, it’s no surprise that the bidding on a half-eaten apple by Tiger Woods is getting some serious play on Ebay. These bids are getting seriously out of hand, ringing in at $36k at last check. And check out the description of the item:

I was at the US Open this Friday, following Tiger Woods down the 12 th Fairway, after his tee shot, he was eating an apple, 30 yards from his ball he discarded his apple core in the rough, I asked a photothe to kick it over my way, and he did, I never touched the core, Scooped it up in a empty beer cup, as not to disrupt the DNA, Ive got lots of witness’…all moneys go to my daughters college fund

I really would like to meet the people that spend this type of cash on items like that. Come on, who buys Jack Lambert’s used cigarette, or Luis Gonzalez’s chewed gum? I guess it’s the same people that spend 7 grand for their kid to meet David Beckham as a birthday present. Ridiculous.

LSU Baseball Civil War Logic

As I said the other day, sometimes words are not necessary. What is that saying about pictures anyway?

Photo via Spencer Hall’s trusty musket over at The Sporting Blog and Friends of the Program.

How Do You Spell Numbnuts?

Anyone who’s been reading the site for some time knows quite well how much I enjoy the Scripps Annual Spelling Bee. Some of the greatest moments in the bee were classics, like the kid who got KO’d by the power of the word, and the dude who did a Napoleon Dynamite impression. Those were all solid and highly enjoyable, and now numb nuts makes its way onto the list as well. In case you missed a great moment in Bee history, here it is:

Of course as funny as that was, nothing, and I mean nothing, will ever stand up to last year’s champ, Evan O’Dorney. He was quite a beauty.

Saluting the Handsome Ones

Joe Sports Fan, as they often do, came up with a great bit and put together a set of faux trading cards they call “The Uglies.” It was a natural response to OK!Magazine’s Top 50 Good Looking Men or something like that. Whatever. What does matter is not necessarily their selection of players — they certainly missed quite a few uglies — but the information on the back of the cards was impeccable. Here are my favorites (make sure you go over there to check out the rest).

And for my money, it doesn’t get much better than Mike Ricci’s possible ancestry being a sewer rat. I absolutely lost it when I read that. As for Willie, I could easily see him slipping on a blue collar outfit janitor style.

Soccer Streaker Posing for Playboy

It doesn’t take a whole lot these days to become famous. (or at least get your 15 minutes). If you’re a chick, it pretty much consists of showing up at a televised sporting event wearing very little clothing. Or if you just want to completely strip away the power of imagination, you could just decide to go streaking on the field. That’s what Tiffany May decided to do at a U.S. vs. Honduras soccer match not long ago. And what has that done for her? Landed her a shoot in playboy.

Not exactly something that would send me running to the store, but not bad. I’d say the soccer referee who posed in Playboy was more enticing. But man, life’s just made if you’re a chick these days.

LSU Basketball Likes Big Packages

Copy editors are like the unsung heroes of the newspaper world. The Pippen to the Jordan, the Drysdale to the Koufax, the Jarri Kurri to the Gretzky. They don’t have the big superstar name, but they’ve held up well in their own right and contributed to the team’s success in large ways. Largely unheralded and doing most of the dirty work, the copy editor goes unnoticed. But there are those rare instances where the copy editor gets his day in the sun — the chance to hit that game winning shot or score the overtime goal. And when the copy editor knocks it out of the park, we sure do appreciate it. This week in the LSU Daily Reville, it was time for an editor to shine:

Not quite as good as the Cocks getting jacked, or the ladies getting jacked off, but still had me laughing out loud. Credit JS with the Daniel Hackett-like assist on the play.

Speedo’s $550 Controversial Swimsuit

It’s two pieces, studded with diamonds and rhinestones, and plated in gold. OK, not quite. But yeah, Speedo is marketing a $550 swimsuit called the LZR Racer. Apparently the suit was designed by NASA with all sorts of special fabrics and bonding to make you a more efficient swimmer. There’s like less drag and all kinds of technical stuff I really don’t have a clue about. But what I do know is that people are beginning to complain about the results this suit is generating. It’s like the steroids scandal for swimming or something, who knew?

Still, with so many records falling so fast, three-time Olympic champion Pieter van den Hoogenband captured the essence of the controversy: “This [suit] allows far less talented swimmers to go fast,” he told a French newspaper, adding that it made records meaningless.

I don’t know if that’s quite the case, but it seems to resemble a shift that took place in golf and tennis in regards to their equipment. When they went from wood rackets to graphite or whatever, the players started smacking balls at absurdly high speeds — same with golf when it came to distance. I’m not sure how much of an advantage a swimsuit can provide, but damn, $550 for a swimsuit? It better work wonders.