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Just How Would Mini Me Do?


photo courtesy ERIC KAYNE / THE SEATTLE TIMES

I still am not sure about all the technicalities regarding the difference between dwarfs and midgets. I think it has to do with whether or not everything is in proportion, although I can’t swear to it. Either way, I’m proud to say that the Dwarf Games were held in Seattle over the weekend. To the Seattle Times for details:

[Jake] Smith, a dwarf, is among thousands of people from all over the United States meeting at the Little People of America conference and competing in the 2007 Dwarf Athletic Association of America’s National Games, both held this week in greater Seattle.

The LPA, the largest dwarf organization in the world, was founded 50 years ago as a social club and activist organization by Billy Barty, an actor with dwarfism.

He said he intended the organization to combat the perception that little people were all sideshow acts and circus freaks — perceptions he said kept people of short stature at the outer fringes of society.

Attendees of the conference said “little people,” “dwarf” and “short-statured” are all terms they use to describe themselves.

Now, given what I now know, go little people! You guys rock. And let me ask this, any chance Johnny Knoxville would try to fix these games? Any thoughts?

(via Fark)

The Apple IPhone Craze, it Can’t Be

Mark Jackson had a great line in his analysis of the draft last night — the Blazers had such a good draft it overshadowed the release of the Apple Iphone. Well, there are a lot of people excited about Portland hoops, but probably not as many as people excited about the latest Apple I-___ technology. My buddy Sam Ahn, who shrewdly purchased a pair for purposes of resale (one of which he has made available on eBay here), directs me to the following listing on eBay:

Yeah, that’s straight up nuts. And I don’t know how much of that I can believe. Ccccrrazzzzy. Now, if anyone should be going over the NBA luxury tax, we know who it is…

Brazilian Soccer Ref Posing in Playboy

I didn’t post this to get your thoughts on international soccer. I just wanted you to see what she looks like. She’s 29 and has far too many names for me to write them all here. Just check the video below. And also be sure to check out this google translated press release. It’s freaking hilarious. Thanks to Our Book of Scrap for turning my attention to this story. If the refs keep this up, soccer might actually get some attention on the site. Until that point, I’ll keep it to a minimum.

I have a few ideas of what I’d like to do with that red card. Giggity.

How Bad Is Horse Racing Compared to Dogfighting?

I think for the most part, we can all agree that dogfighting is pretty disgusting. But as mjd questioned in one of his first Debriefings, what makes the Preakness and other horse racing events such acceptable forms of entertainment, while dog fighting is considered so deplorable? I think that both can be considered animal abuse. The big difference however is that horses are intended to race each other, not maul each other, while the dogs are encouraged to fight til death. The reason I bring it back up is because of Jonathan Vilma’s comments to Chris Russo on WFAN (Francessa must have been out hehe) via Ben Maller:

When asked if he has a problem with dogfighting, Vilma replied, “To be honest with you, I never looked at it one way or another. What people do is …of course dog fighting is much more extreme, but you can equate it to horse racing. You have animal activists that (condemn) horse racing. They feel horses are being tested brutally, whatever the situation is. I’m not an animal activist. To each his own.”

So he doesn’t outright criticize the involvement. But is it so outrageous what Vilma said? I don’t think so. I think people are wrong if they can’t recognize that there’s something inherently bad about breeding dogs to tear each other’s faces off — which Vilma doesn’t acknowledge. On the other hand, I think its short sided to not see the animal abuse that exists in horse racing, once you strip away the millionaire owners and mint juleps that make it seem justified.

Want to Make Some Money? Sue Nike

That’s exactly what Chris Whetsline is doing. Don’t know the name? That’s OK. He’s a massage therapist who wound up getting included in the whole Justin Gatlin scandal. And what’s this dude doing? Oh nothing, just suing Nike for $3.8 million. You know, chump change.

The suit claims Llewellyn Starks, a former long jumper who is now a sports marketing representative for Nike, assaulted Whetstine on June 22, 2006, after drinking heavily on Nike’s tab.

The suit claims Whetstine suffered injuries to his face, head and both hands, and underwent multiple surgeries that left him unable to work as a massage therapist. The suit seeks $2.2 million for noneconomic damages related to the injuries, $1.6 million for loss of earning capacity and $65,000 for medical expenses.

Damn, to think you could make $1.6 million as a massage therapist? I’m in the wrong business. I most definitely could be putting these hands to better use. My favorite part of the story is the reminder that the sleezebag Trevor Graham (for anyone who’s read Game of Shadows), blames this guy Whetstine for rubbing down Gatlin with some illegal steroid creams. You want to know the best way to clear your name? Sue a big time company for way more money than you deserve. Now that’s the American spirit!

Retirement? Say It Ain’t so Chamique

This is the saddest thing. I remember like it was yesterday when Chamique was making women’s college hoops somewhat popular on ESPN, balling it up for the Lady Vols. And what, less than 10 years later she’s hanging it up? What will Sparks fans do without her?

I’m not Mr. up-to-date when it comes to the WNBA, but I’m pretty sure they’re in season right now. Matter of fact, I think the Sparks are 3-2, and Holdsclaw is their leading scorer. And she’s ditching them mid-season, knowing full well that the team is without the other star, Lisa Leslie who’s pregnant. Thanks for the effort there, Dottie Henson. I wonder if she’ll be giving any of her max-salary $93,000 back to the team. I really don’t, I just wanted to point out that the max-WNBA salary was less than I make bootlegging DVDs on 5th and Alvarado.

So this marks the end of a fine women’s basketball career. And now, the amount of players in the WNBA I know by name has shrunk by 20%. Is Lobo still in there? Swoopes? Taurasi? I think I might have hit one. What a shame, an utter shame. How is the league expected to survive with a star player like her retiring during the year? Maybe the WNBA is on its last legs…and that might not be such a bad thing.

Humane Society Wants to End Shark Fishing Tournament

They’re already working on curtailing Michael Vick’s canine obedience school, and now they won’t let sharks have the pleasure of swallowing a stick of dynamite? Those animal rights activists certainly are doing everything in their power to ensure man’s last days of fun are over. Major bummer.

Here’s the background: this is an Ocean City shark tournament that’s been held each of the past 26 years. It’s scheduled to begin on Thursday, with $3,000 going for first prize, and a total prize package potentially at $20,000 based on additional skills levels. Apparently the tournament attracts some of the greatest explosives anglers, and many spectators. So if so many people are enjoying the three-day tournament snagging sharks, then what’s the big deal?

John Grandy, a senior vice president of the group, says shark fishing techniques are barbaric and that the tournament harms the dwindling populations of thresher, blue and mako sharks.

Please. What a bunch of crap. As soon as someone from the Humane Society presents me with one legitimate purpose sharks serve in our world (aside from eating dumbass surfers), then I’ll start going along with them. Until that point, just let our boys have their fun.