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Javier Mascherano tore his anus during Argentina win

Javier-Mascherano-torn-anus

Argentina defender Javier Mascherano laid it all on the line for his country on Wednesday. No, I mean he really, really went all out. Mascherano may have saved the game with a tremendous tackle on Netherlands forward Arjen Robben in the 90th minute to keep the score 0-0. And you know what else happened?

He tore his anus.

Mascherano, who seemed embarrassed, told reporters about the unfortunate injury after the game.

“I do not want to be rude,” he said, as translated by SB Nation. “I tore the anus that play, so the pain…”

Unfortunately, Mascherano is not the first athlete we have featured on LBS that tore his anus. A popular wrestler suffered the same injury last year. The important thing is Argentina is going to the World Cup final. Imagine tearing your anus and losing?

The play where the injury may have occurred can be seen here

[See more nasty injuries we've covered at LBS]

Donovan McNabb and Randy Moss: Cowboys’ problem is coaching

Jason GarrettThe Dallas Cowboys have not made the playoffs since 2009, which was also the last time they posted a winning record. Despite having some talented players on their roster, the Cowboys can’t seem to win when it counts. Tony Romo takes most of the blame for that, but Donovan McNabb and Randy Moss see things a bit differently. The two former NFLers think coaching is the issue.

Under Monte Kiffin last season, the Cowboys allowed a league-worst 415.3 yards per game. They also gave up 27 points per game, which makes the fact that they even won eight games somewhat impressive.

“I think for the Dallas Cowboys it’s much more than just what we see from the defense and offense, I mean, let’s go upstairs,” McNabb said on FOX Sports Live, via The Dallas Morning News. “Let’s talk about the coaching staff. How do you go from Monte Kiffin and Marinelli being a position coach to [Marinelli] now being the defensive coordinator and Kiffin being like a position coach? And it’s the same on the offensive end. You had Jason Garrett calling plays, supposedly, then Callahan.”

Most defensive coordinators would have been fired in a heartbeat given how bad the Cowboys were last season. Kiffin was basically just demoted.

McNabb didn’t let Jason Garrett off the hook, either. He said it makes no sense that Garrett has kept his job while doing worse than Wade Phillips did before him.

“I’m still figuring out how he still has a job at this particular point the way we have continued to see this team just continue to crumble,” McNabb said. “(You played) behind hall of famers and you see how they carry the two-minute offense. He’s run the two-minute offense himself as a starting quarterback. The way that they control their offense in certain games, how can you lead games in the middle of the third quarter and you end up losing the game?”

Moss agreed, though he went much easier on Garrett.

“The thing that’s not really fair to Tony Romo is he really hasn’t had that coaching to be able to bring him along,” Moss said. “I’m not sitting here busting Garrett or trying to call Garrett out, but there has not been nothing steady in Dallas. It’s always coaches come and go.”

Playcalling has been a major issue for the Cowboys in recent years — there’s no debating that. They seem lost at times when playing with a lead, and most of that falls on the coaching staff. If Dallas misses the playoffs again this season, Jerry Jones will have no choice but to move on from Garrett.

LeBron James has moving trucks at house … which means nothing

LeBron JamesYou probably were already aware of what a frenzy there is during NBA free agency but, just in case you weren’t, allow us to share with you the latest example.

Our buddy Jorge Sedano, a longtime Miami media personality currently with ESPN, tweeted a picture Wednesday of what he says are exotic car transportation trucks outside LeBron’s house in Miami. Sedano says the photo was sent to him by one of LeBron’s neighbors.

And here’s the other moving trucks photo that received attention on Twitter Wednesday:

Naturally, the moving trucks at LeBron’s house fueled speculation that the former MVP is preparing to move back to Cleveland, which coincides with the reports that he is likely to sign with the Cavaliers.

Not so fast, my friends!

Ethan J. Skolnick, a connected Miami Heat reporter currently with Bleacher Report, says the car moving trucks are standard operating procedure for LeBron every summer.

Awwww. Does that mean he’s not going to Cleveland? What a shame. Too bad that had to get in the way of a fun rumor.

Michael Irvin: Cris Carter told my wife to leave me when I had coke problem

Michael-Irvin-Colts-Garbage-Without-Peyton-ManningMichael Irvin offered a powerful defense of Cleveland Browns wide receiver Josh Gordon during an interview with the Dan Le Batard Show on Tuesday. More specifically, Irvin spoke out against fellow Hall of Famer Cris Carter in the wake of Carter’s assertion that the Browns should cut Gordon.

Carter compared Gordon’s situation to his own, with the Philadelphia Eagles having cut Carter in 1990. Carter credits Buddy Ryan for giving him the motivation to get sober and get his life on track by releasing him. Irvin cautioned that the tough love approach doesn’t work for everyone.

“Dan, this is a brain disease. Addiction is a brain disease,” Irvin told Le Batard, via Ryan Cortes of the New Times Broward-Palm Beach. “You know, we act as if someone should…How can you make that decision? You must be stupid. He’s not. That’s why they call substances dope. Because it makes you less intelligent and you make the poor decision. It’s a brain disease. And it affects everybody differently.

“Now, isolation for Cris may have been the best thing. Separation, for Cris, may have been the best thing. For Josh, maybe it’s the worst thing…”

Irvin then got personal. The former Dallas Cowboys star’s cocaine addiction in the 1990s was well-documented. Irvin was a known party animal who used cocaine and then dominated on Sundays. During that time, he claims Carter told his wife to leave him.

“I’m going to put a little personal on this even though I love Cris to death,” Irvin said. “I don’t know what year it was we were in the Pro Bowl. And all Cris is trying to do, he’s just trying to share his experiences. He said to my wife, ‘You know, Michael would never come out of this problem until you leave him.’ Till you leave him.

“For years, I’ve held it. I’ve never shared that with anybody. I’ve never in my life shared that with anybody. I was so irked with Cris because he was out of line then. His ass is out of line now. He is out of line.”

While it doesn’t sound like Carter had terrible intentions when he allegedly told Irvin’s wife to leave him, you can see why Irvin is angry. Just because Carter credits his release from the Eagles for getting his life on track doesn’t mean that approach works for everyone. Having said that, Gordon’s path gets worse by the day. Something has to be done.

Chris Sheridan says ’90 percent chance’ LeBron James returns to Cavs

LeBron-James-HeatAll of the LeBron James speculation will hopefully come to a halt by the end of the week. After James meets with Miami Heat president Pat Riley (possibly Wednesday), he should know what his plans for the future are. If you believe Chris Sheridan’s sources, LeBron returning to the Cleveland Cavaliers is pretty much a done deal.

Sheridan reported on his website Tuesday that a “plugged-in source” has told him there is a 90% chance LeBron will return to Cleveland. The source added that the announcement is expected to come on LeBron’s website lebronjames.com, which Sheridan claims is updating its server to handle a massive traffic spike.

On Monday, Sheridan reported that LeBron’s wife and entire inner-circle want him to return to the Cavs. The former ESPN and AP writer seems more convinced than anyone that LeBron is heading back to Cleveland. That said, what’s the use of saying 90 percent? If you’re that convinced LeBron is signing with the Cavs, just make the prediction. Don’t leave the 10% hanging in the wind to cover your ass.

Remember, Sheridan is the same guy who made the mind-boggling decision to not vote LeBron for All-NBA first team last year. We don’t blame you if you hold that against him.

Personally, and this has nothing to do with “sources,” I could see LeBron going back to Cleveland. Why? For starters, the Heat are aging. They can’t offer the type of promising future that young stars like Kyrie Irving and Andrew Wiggins offer. Dwyane Wade is breaking down physically and Chris Bosh is reportedly considering a max offer from a team in his home state. The Cavs, with LeBron, would probably have a better chance to win over the next five years than the Heat.

And then there’s the narrative. Can LeBron really catch Michael Jordan by winning four more rings in Miami? Probably not. Can he become the only NBA player in history to come back and rescue his home state by bringing them a title after breaking their hearts? You know it. The drama associated with the homecoming may be too much for LeBron to pass up.

Johnny Manziel was not doing cocaine in the bathroom

I don’t know how much clearer I have to be about what Johnny Manziel was doing in the bathroom in Las Vegas when he was pictured allegedly rolling some bills. You may think he was getting ready to snort some lines of cocaine, but that’s not what he was doing.

He was just folding some paper and doing some origami:

Johnny Manziel origami

Sorry, he was not doing origami. He was actually just rolling some Fruit by the Foot:


You people and your wild minds …

Photo: Twitter/Nick Pants

Donald Sterling lost his dang mind in court, berated lawyer, called out wife and NBA

Donald SterlingDonald Sterling lost his dang mind in court Tuesday when he testified in the case regarding his removal as owner of the Los Angeles Clippers.

Donald’s wife, Shelly, had her husband examined by two doctors in May who both declared he was mentally unfit to run the team. As a result, Shelly became the sole controller of the Sterling Family Trust — which owned the Clippers — and received the NBA’s blessing to sell the team to former Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer. Sterling is suing and saying he was not legally removed as owner of the team.

[Related: Donald Sterling couldn’t number a clock, spell words backwards]

The man who initially made his career and name as a lawyer was in peak condition Tuesday and as combative as you could imagine while testifying in court. ESPN’s Arash Markazi live-tweeted the testimony and described Sterling as “combative” and “argumentative.” Some of the quotes indicate Sterling called out his wife, the NBA and the opposing lawyer.

Take a look at some of these gems as described by Markazi.

[Read more...]