I suppose I don’t exactly expect much from someone who visits strip clubs strictly for the food, or gets in as much trouble as Pacman does, but this harrowing description of an outfit Pacman sported recently just really makes you shake your head. Tim McMahon at The Dallas Morning News Cowboys Blog has the details of the suit Pacman wore to the Cowboys Kickoff Luncheon.

Let me do my best to describe this suit. It was brownish-gray with blue fabric that covered the shoulders. And there was a Cowboys star on the right sleeve with a 21 in it. Oh, and the suit had a hood.

Yes, you read that right. His suit had a hood.

The suit was so, um, unique that Brad Sham had Pacman stand up and show it off after each player was introduced to the crowd.

Sorry Pacman, but where I come from, only one type of suit has a hood, and it’s not the type you want to be breaking out in public — or at all — for that matter. Obviously it’s nowhere nearly as good of a story as it could be without the pictures, but I can envision the atrocity. Brownish-gray with blue fabric? That just makes my stomach curl. Someone get Pacman some fashion lessons — fast.

I was recently alerted to the new Nike ad campaign called “Train Like It” that features LaDainian Tomlinson rolling Knightrider-style to do outrageous training stunts with MMAer Kimbo Slice. This has to be a Nike campaign because there’s no way a player actually drinks leather, punches animal carcasses, and pulls Cadillac SUVs as part of their real training regimen. Seriously, who actually trains by punching refrigerators?

Even with the gloves on, I’m still not sure Norv Turner would approve. Make sure you check out all the other videos as well — they’re equally crazy. And given the recent news about his shredded knee, I’m surprised to hear it wasn’t Shawne Merriman training with Kimbo this off-season instead of LT. Just for the record, I am predicting a major knee injury for LT this year — it’s incredible he’s gone this long avoiding one.

Criticizing the Bengals for their off-field problems? Check. Criticizing Marvin Lewis for having no control of the team? Check. Calling coach Marvin Lewis and Owner Mike Brown for going back on their words and being full of crap? Here to come. In April the Bengals released Chris Henry, deciding they had enough of his shenanigans. Last month Marvin Lewis reinforced this notion to the media even after Chris Henry was re-instated by commissioner Roger Goodell:

“I’m not interested. I don’t think it would be productive for our football team. You have to be a productive part to be an NFL player, and there’s responsibilities to being an NFL player. It’s a privilege, it’s not a right. There’s a lot that comes with being an NFL football player.”

If you thought that was persuasive, wait til you hear what Mike Brown had to say:

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As far as I had always heard things, the relationship between Rams running back Steven Jackson, and the man he eventually replaced at the same position, Marshall Faulk, was a good one. I remember hearing stuff about Faulk serving as a mentor to Jackson, even though Jackson was drafted in the first round to share time with Faulk and take the starting role. That must have been all P.C. stuff because apparently that’s far from the truth. Faulk sure made it seem like there are still hard feeling between himself and Steven Jackson when he joined The Monty Show on Sporting News Radio. Asked if he was surprised Jackson’s holding out, he said:

“I am surprised he’s holding out. I don’t know where he’s getting his advice. He’s played four years and he’s played every game once and he’s been hurt three times. I know if I was in the front office, even if it wasn’t Steven, even if it was someone else on another team, it would be hard for me to justify giving them a lot of money, regardless if he was ‘the team’.”

Marshall does qualify the statement by saying he’d have a hard time paying any player who’s holding out. That’s somewhat interesting to me because I’ve read that Faulk once held out himself. But Faulk took his comments to a more personal level. Talking about Steven Jackson running in Faulk’s shadow he said:

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I don’t know what it is about pre-season games and players losing helmets, but it sure seems to happen a lot. Maybe it’s because it’s guys who are doing everything they can to make the team, or maybe it’s because the equipment guys aren’t fitting the scrubs with proper-fitting helmets. Either way, it happened again on Monday Night Football, this time, it was James Jones with a spectacular touchdown catch from Aaron Rodgers. Let’s go to the videotape:

Even though it looks like James Jones had his brains scrambled on the play, I’ll bet it’s the Bengals’ defensive backs who wound up the most confused by what happened. How can you possibly hit someone that hard and not have him go down? And to clarify a point made above, Jones is actually a slot receiver who sees plenty of time, not a scrub. Just ask Brett Favre.

Now that Chad Pennington has signed with the Dolphins, the NFL television networks can wet themselves over an ideal storyline in week one: Brett Favre starting against Pennington for Chad’s former team. Moreover, both QBs will be in the exact same spot — only having joined their respective teams a month before the season started. Favre’s going to a team that has stronger personnel, especially considering their off-season acquisitions of Alan Faneca, Calvin Pace, and Kris Jenkins. Pennington’s going to the Dolphins. They were 1-15 last season.

Miami actually must be somewhat excited about the Favre trade because it made Pennington available to them. In case you forgot, Bill Parcells drafted Pennington in the first round back when he was with the Jets. And you knew the Dolphins couldn’t be satisfied with the likes of Josh McCown as leading them into week one. Thing is, this Brett Favre deal has certainly had quite the ripple effect. Pennington gets pushed out of NY and into Miami, and now it looks like John Beck might be out the door in South Beach. Remember, it was only last year that the Dolphins passed on Brady Quinn to select and the combination of Ted Ginn and Beck in the draft. It’s either Beck or Paul Bunyan who’s done in Miami, because there’s no way they cut second round pick Chad Henne, is there?