Ochocinco Plans First Touchdown Dance

Chad Ochocinco — who probably salivates at the thought of a good end zone dance more than he does at the thought of a Super Bowl ring — has already announced his plans for his first touchdown celebration.  After seeing the Batman and Robin photoshoot, I expected his first end zone dance to have something to do with his new partner.  Turns out it’s a lot more complicated than that.  Relax, it doesn’t have anything to do with “Russell the love muscle” either.  No. 85 plans on firing one of the Patriots muskets if he finds pay dirt.

First of all, I don’t see how he could pull that off.  Those rifles can’t be that easy to fire, can they?  And would one of the guys who works at the Pats games and does the firing just hand him their gun?  I highly doubt it.

Second order of business: I’ll be at this game in Foxboro.  As a Patriots fan, I must admit I’m going to be a little torn.  I never want to see the home team give up a score, but I’m anxious to see Ochocinco’s approach.  Needless to say if the Pats jump out to a big lead, I’ll be secretly rooting for an Ochocinco score.

Ochocinco on Twitter

James Harrison: Orton Stepped in Front of the Train, Got What He Deserved

Kyle Orton a trash talker?  I wouldn’t have guessed that, but I suppose you never know.  James Harrison insists that the Broncos quarterback was talking smack during Sunday night’s Steelers-Broncos preseason game and ended up getting what he deserved as a result.  It may only be the preseason, but Denver’s quarterbacks are taking a beating.

Harrison recovered a fumble in the game (a call that was overturned) and Orton attempted to tackle him after he scooped the loose ball.  The result was exactly the one we’d expect to see when a quarterback tries to tackle a 250-pound linebacker (hint: something similar to what Ndamukong Suh did to Jake Delhomme).  Harrison felt no remorse, to say the least.

He was running his mouth and getting in the way of the train,” Harrison said after the game, per Mike Klis of the Denver Post.  “And the train wasn’t coming off the track.”

“He was popping off down there the first time they were about to score,” Harrison said.  “So you run your mouth, expect to get something.  Everything’s between the lines, so he got what he had coming.”

Orton should have known that only James Harrison is allowed to run his mouth, even if it’s about taking a trip to the White House.  Love the whole “getting in the way of the train” thing, too.  He should copyright that phrase.  I’ve never heard it before.

James Harrison says Kyle Orton “got what he had coming” [Pro Football Talk]

Ndamukong Suh Rips Jake Delhomme’s Head Off

If you missed this play over the weekend then you have to see it. With the memory of Ndamukong Suh’s monstrous Big 12 Championship game against Texas where he had four and a half sacks and tossed Colt McCoy around rag doll-style fresh in our minds, Suh had his first “I am here to dominate” moment in the NFL. Playing in Detroit’s third preseason game Saturday, Suh got a hold of Browns quarterback Jake Delhomme and spiked him to the ground like a volleyball. Donkey Kong got a personal foul flag on the play, but boy, was it worth it. Check out this must-see video of Ndamukong Suh on Jake Delhomme:

Lions fans are hoping there’s plenty more of that to come. I can’t even remember the last player to enter the league with as much animosity towards quarterbacks. I’m guessing Suh will be on Roger Goodell’s most wanted list by the end of the year if he keeps up this act. I hope he does.

Video Credit: YouTube user CastleDragon78

Antonio Bryant, Laveranues Coles Both Cut, Careers Over?

Somehow it all comes back to the Cincinnati Bengals, that death sentence of a team. Last year they gave big contract to wide receiver Lavernaues Coles whom they figured would replace the departed T.J. Houshmandzadeh. They figured wrongly.

Coles never was on the same page with quarterback Carson Palmer and turned out to be a megabust, catching 43 passes for a mere 514 and five touchdowns. His once superior skills clearly declined last year and the production plummeted. It didn’t hurt Coles in the pocketbook however, as he grabbed nine million in guaranteed money from a four-year $27.5 million deal. Between the guaranteed money and last year’s salary, Coles netted around $200k per catch. Not bad cash if you can get it.

The good news is Cincinnati recognized the mistake, cut Coles in the offseason, and sent him packing with his nine million in hand. They replaced him with another receiver on the downside of his career — Antonio Bryant — who also had chronic knee injuries to boot. The Bengals handed Bryant a $7 million signing bonus and then went out and added T.O. in a low-priced deal. With T.O. in hand and a bevy of receivers selected in the draft, Bryant and his $7 million became expendable. Of course it didn’t help that Bryant didn’t practice after hurting his knee the first day of training camp.

So what’s the grand lesson to be learned here? $16 million doesn’t buy you a whole lot if you’re the Bengals. Oh yeah, and this is probably the end of the career for both receivers. Coles is for sure done whereas Bryant might sign somewhere if his knee heals, but I doubt they combine for 50 catches the rest of their careers. Nice going Cincinnati — way to scout your talent.

Matt Leinart Sounds Off About Benching

Derek Anderson is going to start at quarterback for the Arizona Cardinals in the all-important third preseason game on Saturday night against the Chicago Bears.  From a fan’s standpoint, the NFL preseason is meaningless.  For a player, there are certain moments that are crucial.  The third preseason game is one of those moments, as it represents the game that is most closely treated like a regular season game where the projected starters get the most playing time.

If you start the third preseason game, there’s a good chance the position you start at is yours to lose.  With that in mind, it’s understandable that Matt Leinart is frustrated he has been benched.  To the outside viewer, it’s hardly a surprise.  We knew the Cardinals weren’t comfortable with their quarterback situation when they brought Anderson in this past off-season and explored adding Marc Bulger.  I don’t know if it’s the former Heisman winner’s absence of effort or his attitude, but the Cardinals have never seemed enthusiastic about him as the starter.  Based on his recent comments to Kent Somers of the Arizona Republic, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s a combination of the two.

I’m disappointed. I’ve done everything to this point that they’ve asked me to and more. I’ve worked hard and been a leader. I’m trying to be that guy in this new role. I have high expectations for myself.”

“I feel I’ve been efficient. I’ve been accurate. I haven’t turned the ball over. I don’t know how we judge performance when you have 13 pass attempts to the other guy’s 40. I’m not going to sit here and complain and point the finger. I have to get better and I’m going to get better.”

The only problem with his logic is that talking about how you haven’t gotten enough snaps and essentially whining about not being given a chance can easily be construed as complaining.  At this point we have no idea who the starter will be come the first game of the regular season.  I wouldn’t be surprised if it were Leinart.  I also wouldn’t be surprised if he were no longer on the Cardinals roster.

Leinart talks about demotion [Arizona Republic]
Matt Leinart bristles at his benching [Pro Football Talk]

Valiant Effort, Cowlishaw

Tim Cowlishaw is officially backtracking after he Tweeted with absolute certainty that Darrelle Revis and the New York Jets would announce a new deal on or around Wednesday.  Huge surprise, right?  Maybe Cowlishaw really did have a trusted source that told him the deal was a lock, but it was your typical “if I’m right I’ll have bragging rights and if I’m wrong it will blow over in no time” type of situation.

Naturally, Revis remains unsigned and absent from the cast of Hard Knocks.  If nothing else, I’m going to give Cowlishaw some respect for manning up and admitting he’s wrong.  After all, it’s just as easy to pull a Paul Pierce and claim your Twitter account was hacked.  Here are some chunks from Cowlishaws kinda-sorta apology about the Tweet on his Dallas Morning News blog:

The words “I think” would have gone a long way towards expressing my feelings although on Sunday I felt them very strongly and wasn’t worried about being wrong. This deal, I truly believed, was almost done.

And I certainly didn’t do it to stir things up, to make life miserable for Jets beat writers or to call attention to myself. My position as a columnist at The Dallas Morning News and on ESPN’s Around the Horn has given me more attention than I will ever need.

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Holdouts Will Play This Season

Or at least, they should play this season.  Word is starting to circle that the New York Jets are close to a deal with Darrelle Revis, which was first reported via a Tweet from Tim Cowlishaw that I was fully ready to call b.s. on, so touche and good for you, Tim — unless you still turn out to be wrong.

The Jets have also agreed to a monstrous deal with center Nick Mangold (7 years, $55 million), so as of now it’s fair to say their front office is taking care of business.  The Mangold deal has huge implications in strengthening the position of another player who is currently holding out, the Patriots’ Logan Mankins.  According to an ESPN Boston report, Mankins is so put off by the way negotiations have gone that he is prepared to sit out the entire upcoming season.  As Mike Reiss points out, the current collective bargaining agreement requires a player to report by week 10 of the season in order for that year to count toward their free agent status, meaning if Mankins sat out the entire year the Patriots could go through the same fiasco with him again next season if that part of the CBA doesn’t change.

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