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Bonds Ex-Mistress Tells of His Shrunken Nuts

Barry Bonds and Greg AndersonJust add this to the mounting evidence against Barry Bonds. To anyone who read Game of Shadows, we learned that Bonds first got interested in steroids when he saw McGwire and Sosa, who he felt were inferior hitters, belting the baseball and became jealous. That was according to his ex-mistress, Kimberly Bell, who surely has an ax to grind. Well, Bell held back no punches in an interview with the New York Daily News to promote her November spread in Playboy:

His body had grown thicker, his back was pocked with acne, his hair had fallen out and his testicles had shriveled when Bonds asked his former mistress if she thought anyone would suspect he was on the juice.

“Do I look bloated?” Bonds wanted to know. “Does it look funny? Do you think this is obvious?”

Bonds was always moody – “I always figured he had PMS, like a woman,” Bell said – but the drugs radically changed his behavior as well as his body. He became a different person, controlling, threatening and finally violent. “It went from ‘I want to know where you are at’ to ‘I’m gonna f—— kill you. I’m gonna cut your head off and leave you in a ditch.'”

Nice. Not like I trust this tramp — after all, she did nail a married man — but there has to be some truth here. And after reading this, nobody should be shocked to see Bonds indicted in the near future, even if it’s only for perjury chargers. By the way, if anyone out there buys the magazine and supports this twit, then I will be resigned to administering a merciless cyber-flogging on your ass. Purchase at your own discretion: you have been warned.

Britney to Lose the Kids?

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking … what the hell is this doing on here? To what levels have I stooped? Well, I consider everything Brit does to be fair game, so it all has a place here. Oh yeah, that, and I really couldn’t ignore the tip sent in by contributor Nick. According to Foxnews, Spears could be in danger of losing the kids. Apparently the attorney in the case has some sort of “secret” witness. Whatever. I don’t know too much about secret witnesses, nor custody cases. But there is one thing that I do know. If there’s one person who won’t be too happy about this news, it’s this person:

Sharapova and Djokovic an Item?

That’s what the New York Post is suggesting, as they’ve been known to do from time-to-time. Novak denied the rumor saying that the two are “just friends.” However, Sharapova was seen cheering for Djokovic in the finals of the US Open, and then the two reportedly followed up a Chinese dinner with all-night karaoke. Maybe there’s a reason Djokovic’s impression of Sharapova is so dead on. Just one question, if they were in fact practicing karaoke together, did it look like this?

Did Bridget Diss Tom By Not Naming the Kid Brady?

As I wrote over at FanHouse, apparently the kid has been named. And no, it’s not Jonathan Brady, as was originally reported. His name, pay attention to the initials, is John Edward Thomas Moynahan. William Van Landingham thinks the kid has a long name. So the Jet does not have Tom’s surname. Is that a slap in the face to Brady? Me thinks that could be the case — especially since he appears to be a concerned father and since he’ll most likely be providing tons of financial support.

Then again, it will be easier for the kid to grow up out of his father’s shadow. Somewhat. It’s not as if Moynahan’s a popular name — people will know who his parents are. Anyways, men, where are you here? Isn’t this pretty jacked up? Shouldn’t the kid at least have a hyphenated name or something? He’s got half Brady blood in him, doesn’t he? Isn’t Tom getting a raw deal in all this?

Is Baron Davis Playing the Field?

Earlier in the month we had rumors that Baron Davis and Desperate Housewife Teri Hatcher were smitten with each other. People said they were practically in love. If that’s the case, then what’s up with Baron being seen around town with Lauren London? Does that make the rumors false? Maybe not, says Bossip:

A source close to Bossip says that the “relationship” between Baron and Lauren is just for her press coverage, but his relationship with the cougar actress is genuine. The snitch also mentioned that Lauren is a gold digger that gets around and is definitely f*ckin for tracks publicity.

Maybe Baron’s just trying to throw all of us off the scent. Who knows. But I’m all for the Baron + Teri hookup. They couldn’t be more perfect for each other. In fact, wouldn’t it be tight if the entire Desperate crew dated NBA stars?

Mickey Mantle Has Fond Memories of Yankee Stadium

It’s not often that an absolute gem of a story just drops in our laps like this one, so we must act accordingly. We have a nice little anecdote from Mickey Mantle suggesting he had some fun with the ladies. Big surprise right? Of course not. But the circumstances, oh, you’re going to love this one. As I posted at FanHouse, the New York Post writes about Sam Marchiano’s self-published memoir:

Marchiano also reveals how Mantle sent a jaw-dropping answer to the Yankees front office when he was asked to recall his fondest memory of Yankee Stadium for the 50th anniversary of “The “House that Ruth Built.” Mantle wrote back: “I got [oral sex] under the right-field bleachers by the Yankee bullpen. It was about the third or fourth inning. I had a pulled groin and couldn’t [bleep] at the time. She was a very nice girl . . .”

She was a lovely lady … and my apologies to her. How bout that one huh? The Mick, knocking ‘em out of the park at the dish and under the bleachers. Quick, somebody cue Van Morrison’s “Brown Eyed Girl.” Must be a Yankee thing.

Whatever You Do, Just Don’t Let Paris or Britney Near the Kids

Sounds pretty reasonable, right? You would think pretty much anyone who’s semi-competent would keep our youth away from those harmful beings. I mean, you wouldn’t just let your baby juggle knives and jump into swimming pools without floaties, right? I guess that’s why Brynn Cameron has reportedly put an embargo on whom Matt Leinart’s kid can be around. As SPORTSbyBROOKS directs us:

A TMZ “staffer” reports today that Cameron said at the courthouse where the arrangement was settled, “Britney and Paris aren’t allowed to be around the baby!”

The best part is TMZ following that up with this commentary – no doubt straight from a Leinart spokeshole: “Several people familiar with the former couple say Brynn has been jealous and upset because Matt refused to marry her. For her part, Brynn has questioned Matt’s commitment to his son. Matt is the one who petitioned for more custody.”

Gentlemen, the lesson to be taken away here, don’t be a fool, wrap your tool. Do that, and you’ll be free to roam with whomever you want, and you won’t be saddled by baby mama drama. Come to think of it though, this sounds like it would’ve made for a great marriage. Too bad things didn’t work out.

More Matt Leinart Baby Mama Drama:
Is Brynn Cameron Digging for Matt Leinart’s Gold?