One of the absolutely coolest things about attending events like the Oscars and the ESPYs are the gift bags you get as party favors. I mean these things are serious fun bags, like more so than Salma Hayek’s. One of my co-workers made it known today that the Oscars gift bag is valued at a minimum of $50,000. That’s freaking crazy. How is that possible, you ask? Well, just take a look inside the ESPYs VIP gift bag, which by my loose count exceeds $10k with ease. Awful Announcing did some great leg work in bringing the ESPYs VIP bag to my attention and it was the second item on the list that caught my eye more than all. Ready for this one? The ESPYs are providing all VIP guests a premium breathalyzer from AlcoMate. Nice. Let’s just hope they gave a few extras to Carmelo Anthony, Brandon Marshall, and Tony La Russa.

Oddly enough, one of the other gifts is six bottles of Zaca Mesa wine. A bit of a mixed message, no? But did you see some of those gifts? My favorite might be the one from Chipotle where you can get a free burrito a week for a year. Cosmo Kramer is all about it, no doubt. Some of the other posh gifts include a free membership for a year to one of the four Sports Club locations. To the best of my knowledge, membership to the LA Sports Club is several thousand dollars (like 10) a year. That’s where A-Rod lifted while he was in town and where he goes in NYC. Honestly though, just what a bunch of athletes pulling down $5 million a year need — giftcards to Subway. Please.

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Now all we need is ESPN to do the same with Joe Morgan and the Angels with Rex Hudler. Though Clark Kellogg wouldn’t be the replacement of choice. Anyway, the Miami Herald reports that CBS is letting Billy Packer go after 28 years with the network. This decision means that Packer won’t be providing commentary for his 35th straight Final Four, most likely. It doesn’t take me saying it for you to know that Billy Packer is an old and crotchety dude who’s expressed an inability to adjust to the times. Honestly, how’s Packer supposed to properly commentate on these games without using the best resources available to him, like say for instance, a computer. This news also comes about a year after Packer got into some hot water for making a “fag out” comment in an interview on PBS.

Between the “fag out” comment and Packer’s proclamation that the Kansas/North Carolina game was over with 27 minutes to play, suffice it to say that CBS had had enough. The only problem is Packer’s replacement — Clark Kellogg. He’s a nice enough dude who obviously knows the game, but he’s too even-handed in his analysis. Maybe getting him out of the studio and putting him courtside will bring out his best. Whenever they do pre-game analysis and expert picks, he never takes an actual stance giving a real pick, he just explains how both teams can win. Gee, like I didn’t know that Carolina can win if Hansbrough dominates, but that Kansas can balance things out with their guard play. Like I said, hopefully Kellogg’s best will come out in game analysis courtside.

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The one thing I didn’t think was possible has happened. Somehow, in this entire messy situation, Adam Jones — the biggest perpetrator of crimes within the last two years — was made into a victim by Don Imus. That is just maddening. It just goes to show how clueless Imus really is, and how idiotic you can make yourself sound when you just shoot from the hip. I’m still trying to wrap my arms around this one. How could this whole thing result in Adam Jones saying he’s actually praying for someone else? Think about all the lives the man formally known as Pacman has ruined. And now you’re telling me that he feels bad for someone else and that he’s praying for them? Since when did Adam Jones become the moral police? And where does he get off being more credible and ethical than any other person on this planet?

And how about that lepton brain Imus who compounds an already insanely idiotic statement by sticking his foot even further down his mouth. How did he possibly make himself sound even dumber on Tuesday than he did on Monday? Just check out his statement when he said he was being sarcastic, “What people should be outraged about is that they arrest blacks for no reason,” Imus said Tuesday. “I mean, there’s no reason to arrest this kid six times. Maybe he did something once, but everyone does something once.” OK mister trying-to-cover-up-my-tracks-but-digging-a-deeper-hole. Do you have no idea about Adam Jones and all the trouble he caused in his past life as Pacman? Have you no clue about all the incidents at clubs the night before games? Or how about that shooting at the strip club that resulted in a man being paralyzed? Yeah, he sure was arrested for no reason, I have to agree, Imus. Apparently five seconds of research is too much to ask for from this clown. Someone, please, take the mic away from this guy. He knows not what he says.

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Mike Francesa and Chris Russo have teamed together for their Mike and the Mad Dog show so long, they’d put most married couples to shame. In fact, the two are coming up on their 19th anniversary together on WFAN, the popular sports station in New York. Considering most partnerships, let alone marriages, don’t last for 19 years, it’s not too surprising to read the report from Newsday that the show could be ending.

Barring a change of heart, the partnership between Mike Francesa and Christopher “Mad Dog” Russo is not expected to survive to see its 19th anniversary Sept. 5, industry sources with knowledge of the situation said.
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Clearly, though, their relationship is one element in the drama. Several WFAN staffers have observed them feuding off the air in recent months.
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Russo did confirm strains in the hosts’ relationship, saying, “I think we’ve been going through that,” but he added, “I think we’ve been fine the last couple of months.”

Even though I do catch them on YES Network from time to time, I can’t say I follow the situation closely enough to really know what may or may not be happening. I do know that it’s hard to sustain partnerships in entertainment and it’s only a matter of time before many of them fall apart. People want newer, more challenging projects, and they want to prove they can be successful independently. Just the nature of things. I’m not saying their show is done for certain, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it were. 18 years is a long time in radio, long time.

(via Ballhype)

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And you thought Chris Berman only had incredible pull with the ladies in the U.S. Perhaps you were wrong. Turns out he’s taken his high-flying, bananas fostering, rumblin bumblin, marshall marshall marshall ass up to Canada where they truly appreciate his talents.

Football media personality Chris Berman of ESPN met Milt Stegall and Winnipeg Blue Bombers’ head coach Doug Berry at the CFL club’s practice today. And he crowed about what a CFL fan he is. Berman, the long-time, gravelly-voiced host of ESPN’s expansive NFL coverage, is in Winnipeg as guest speaker at tonight’s YMHA dinner. He showed up at Bomber practice and was presented with a team jersey with his name and Stegall’s No. 85 on it by club president/CEO Lyle Bauer. Then he chatted with Stegall and, later, Berry in the end zone while the practice was still on.

Apparently Boomer then went on to show off his limited CFL knowledge — probably the equivalent of saying “Hey, that Tom Brady guy is pretty good, huh?” You figure after the way he’s been torched here lately, he has no choice but to escape to America’s hat. It’s gotta be a self-esteem booster for him.

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Much like AA described in his post on the matter, I cannot stand Around the Horn. Just like him, I can’t stand the format, I further loathe the guests, and I find almost nothing redeeming about the show. Like I really want or need to hear the opinions of all these hacks who hardly played any sports, don’t have any real or legitimate insight on the matters at hand, and weren’t present (or watching) for 99% of the events they discuss. OK, take all that above and it’s easy to see why I appreciated this video so much.

I wouldn’t be surprised to see Paige taking a “break” from the show some time soon. As for the show, I don’t know too much about the ratings, but I can’t imagine they’re very good. I know Rome does well and that many of my friends and colleagues, myself included, like PTI, but I’ve never heard anyone speak positively about ATH. They need some newer, fresh faces on that show, desperately. And yes, that is me whoring myself out there for a guest appearance. Can’t be worse that Marrioti or Paige, right?

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