Video: Kimbo Slice Knocked Out by Seth Petruzelli in 14 Seconds, Total Fraud

When Kimbo Slice busted onto the scene, I was skeptical about his success; I said immediately, despite my limited MMA knowledge, that he was being set up against easy opponents to rack up an impressive record. Looks like I was right, because Kimbo didn’t even last 15 seconds with Seth Petruzelli in their fight on Saturday night. Check out the video of the fight (if you can even call it that):

Here’s just the knockout (with a great call by Gus Johnson he’s hilarious!):

Here’s the fight including the entire buildup and ring entrances:

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I’m Guessing Norv Turner Doesn’t Approve of LT Training with Kimbo Slice

I was recently alerted to the new Nike ad campaign called “Train Like It” that features LaDainian Tomlinson rolling Knightrider-style to do outrageous training stunts with MMAer Kimbo Slice. This has to be a Nike campaign because there’s no way a player actually drinks leather, punches animal carcasses, and pulls Cadillac SUVs as part of their real training regimen. Seriously, who actually trains by punching refrigerators?

Even with the gloves on, I’m still not sure Norv Turner would approve. Make sure you check out all the other videos as well — they’re equally crazy. And given the recent news about his shredded knee, I’m surprised to hear it wasn’t Shawne Merriman training with Kimbo this off-season instead of LT. Just for the record, I am predicting a major knee injury for LT this year — it’s incredible he’s gone this long avoiding one.

EliteXC, Kimbo Produce Strong Ratings

I’ve already shared some of my thoughts on Saturday’s EliteXC card in Newark as MMA made its network TV debut on CBS. In particular, I was impressed by Gina Carano and think that’s a strong meal ticket for EliteXC. So getting down to it, there was a lot of mixed reaction to the fights on Saturday night. Let’s start with the ratings. In Miami, it drew a 5.0; in LA it did a 4.7; nationally, it had a preliminary rating of 2.7 equating to 4.3 million viewers. Those figures are pretty strong, but let’s think about context here. How much competition for live entertainment is there on Saturday night? A live, novelty event like the EliteXC card should do well — and it did.

Alright, so that’s a solid number for MMA’s network TV debut. I was watching and excited to see how it would turn out. I consider myself someone who’s becoming a fan of the sport. But even as a newer fan of the sport, I think they could have done a better job setting up the fights and the telecast in general, a point well illustrated by Kevin Iole on Yahoo! Sports. I watched the WEC fights on Versus Sunday night just for a basis of comparison and came away thoroughly impressed by the quality of fights, and that’s my main issue. I really think MMA is a sport that sells itself — people like to see fighting and blood — and high quality fighting at that. Personalities are important, like a Gina Carano or a Kimbo Slice (he’d be worthless if he shaved), but I really think the fights on Saturday night should have been a lot better. And therein lies the issue.

The big problem as I now see things is that CBS has a deal with EliteXC, which is probably the weakest of the MMA groups. The best fighters as far as I can tell are in UFC, where many big names already exist. I’m pretty confident UFC on network TV would have done better than the EliteXC fights did. And if you want some more details, check out the comments on this post at FanHouse; they pretty well delineate the plight of the MMA fan. Additionally, I’m still surprised that CBS aired this type of programming. When I checked up Bloodsport and Kickboxer — two of my old-time Van Damme favorites — they each had R ratings. These EliteXC fights can’t be any different. So you’re really telling me that R-rated programming is on basic cable? I just hope elementary school kids and kindergarteners aren’t going around practicing submission holds on their classmates this week.

Gina Carano: The Face of Female MMA

MMA, or shall we say EliteXC, decided to make Kimbo Slice the (bearded) face of their organization. It was a conscious decision that they chose to make him into their star, using his brute and daunting appearance as a reflection of the savage nature of the sport. Well, it became quite clear on Saturday night’s EliteXC show on CBS that Gina Carano was the other face they wanted to promote. And what a face to promote. They knew exactly what they were doing when they introduced some of their characters to the mainstream world. In fact, their tagline for Gina Carano was “The face of female MMA.” Funny how most of America had never seen a female MMA fight yet they were already being told that this was the face of the sport, leaving them no room to decide on their own. And between Gina’s KO and Kimbo’s TKO, I have my suspicions that their opponents were handpicked to make sure the evening went “according to plans.” Couldn’t possibly have your two faces lose. Anyway, I’m getting slightly off topic here.

More on topic, this Gina Carano woman is like the perfect person to have represent your sport. How lucky they are to have her, and it didn’t take much brilliance to realize that they were sitting on a goldmine. An attractive, full-bodied, lady-like woman who also happens to kick major ass in the ring? Does it get any better than that? Unfortunately for me, I don’t find her fighting too sexy. She’s too pretty to be doing that, so it doesn’t exactly turn me on. And seeing the chick she fought dealing with a busted ass face — blood and bruises coming out of everywhere — was none too pleasant. Between Kaitlin Young’s bloodied mug and James Thompson’s cauliflower ear gushing red juices like the Kool-Aid man, I certainly had my fill of grossness. Overall, I’m guessing the telecast was a success and probably did some strong ratings.

One serious problem however, is the fact that these fights can’t be aired until the FCC “Safe Harbor” hours which is after 9pm. That just doesn’t work because in these days, it’s too easy to find out results (as I did on the internet). They just need to host events on the West Coast and air it live at midnight on the East. That’s a serious drawback for them. But they definitely have at least one thing going for them: Gina Carano. Quite the asset, I must say.

Kalib Starnes Cut by UFC for Wussing Out

Being at work I didn’t get a chance to watch UFC 83 on Saturday night. From the sounds of things, I didn’t miss much. Site commenter Ace passes along the story of Canadian fighter (dodger?) Kalib Starnes who got cut by UFC for his Oliver McCall-like performance on Saturday night. The previously 8-2 Starnes ran, hid, and tried to avoid contact as much as possible in a loss to Nate Quarry. Starnes’ antics drew loud boos from the crowd as well as mocking by Quarry in the ring. At one point Starnes even flipped Quarry off for making fun of his wussy ways. Ironically, the lack of action resulted in a must-see fight. Check it out:

I guess Starnes was just trying to out-point Quarry and win the decision. What a sad, sad performance. I’m not saying I’m a tough guy or anything, but come on, if you’re scheduled to fight in the Octagon, you gotta fight. No qualms about it. Starnes probably got what he deserves. Makes you wonder if he was like paid to take a dive or something, though I’m not sure that would make much sense.

Meet MMA’s Goliath, Hong Man Choi

I’ll readily admit I’m a little late to the MMA party, but I’m coming along strong. I happened to be watching a replay from New Years Eve in Japan on HDNet when I first laid eyes upon Hong Man Choi. Probably for the same reasons I watch Nikolay Valuev fight, Kenny George ball, and Andre the Giant wrestle, I am intrigued by Hong Man Choi. Choi is a 7’2″ 350lb Korean kickboxer who also fights in MMA. His nickname is The Techno Goliath because he breaks out in techno dancing after wins. Think about this — it’s MMA — all the dude has to do is fall on you. His punches engulf an entire skull. Even though he lost the fight I happened to be watching (his only MMA loss), it’s still well worth a watch:

There’s also video of Choi producing a 10-second KO in MMA, and one of Choi playing hacky sack with some dude’s cranium. I have included those vids after the jump.

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