Back When Michael Vick Was Cool

Seems like everyone — including myself — has had their share of fun with Michael Vick. I really didn’t want to overdo the story, so I’ll just leave it at this. Remember when Vick was the greatest thing to ever hit a gridiron? When he was single-handedly winning games at VaTech and getting traded on draft day for LT? When Michael Vick was no less than a God? Remember back when Michael Vick was the shiznit, and Nike created one of the coolest commercials of all-time? I do:

That commercial was, is, and will always be awesome. Oh, back in the day, when Michael Vick was actually cool. Now, he’s just a useless and hopeless parasite infecting the league. It’s a sad story my friends.

Video Game Proof That OJ Is a Killer

The Hater Nation tips me off to this great video of OJ Simpson who apparently is a character in a football video game. Since I haven’t dominated football video games since Play Action Football on Nintendo back when I was in 1st grade, I don’t have much insight to offer. Luckily for me, Unsilent Majority fills me in:

You might have heard about this new game, All-Pro Football 2K8 (that’s gamer language for “Too Kate” — which I assume is a a tender dedication from the game’s programmer to e-lover). It’s the one that couldn’t get licensing from the NFL so they simply created their own fictional franchises and stocked the rosters with former NFL legends. While the game’s cover features such respectable citizens as John Elway, Jerry Rice, and Barry Sanders

Great, so there’s your background. Now, make sure you watch the clip all the way til the end. You don’t want to miss the final move.

The LA grim reapers with a sickle. Nice.

Other OJ Simpson Madness:

Down Goes the Juice, Down Goes OJ!
You can Buy OJ’s Not-Guilty Suit

The World Eskimo-Indian Olympics

The 46th annual World Eskimo-Indian Olympics were held last week and finally concluded Sunday in Anchorage, providing for a lot of excitement. Now, to fully understand the Eskimo-Indian Olympics, you have to realize they don’t feature your typical games. Here’s a quick description

In an age when made-for-TV extreme sports are all the rage, WEIO brought the world’s original X Games to town — blood spilled in the ear pull, big air in the blanket toss, cringes at the knuckle hop.

Witness a list of the events (also check out the video)

  • Knuckle hop/seal hop
  • Ear tug of war
  • Four man carry
  • Ear weight carry
  • Alaskan high kick
  • One hand reach
  • Arm pull
  • Toe Kick
  • Blanket toss made of walrus skins, this is done in whaling communities

And, lucky for you, I dug up a sample video of last year’s seal hop/knuckle hop. Check it out:

It simply does not get any better than that.

Midgets in MMA, the Next Big Thing

I might not have warmed up to MMA just yet, but if they continue to put out a product like this, I might be coming around a lot quicker.

Chest Bump to DC Scrap at Epic Carnival for the hook up

Nobody Wants Their Ass Kicked by a Senior Citizen

That apparently is one of Bernard Hopkins’ mottos. He’s 42-years-old and proud. In the reality of today’s sports, he’s one year younger than Vinny Testaverde, two years younger than Roger Clemens, almost three years younger than Evander Holyfield, and six years younger than Julio Franco. Dude’s practically a spring chicken. But in the following video that was passed along to me to promote the upcoming Hopkins/Winky Wright fight on Saturday, it shows the manlove between Bernard and UFC champ Randy Couture who’s 44-years-old. The video — “Bernard Hopkins is…The Bionic Man”

Dude, if that doesn’t send you memories of Ivan Drago, then I don’t know what does. Well, except for all the muscles…and steroids (so far that we know of).

Rich Hill Is a Napoleon Dynamite Fan

Has to be, because the guy does a mean Kip impression. You would think it got old after a the first few players introduced, but oh no, you would be wrong. Check it out, courtesy Matt Watson at FanHouse:

And Hill probably has been spending all day chatting with internet babes just to make Napoleon jealous. I also have to wonder whether or not his mistakes were part of the persona or not. It’s a tough call. Either way it fits, luckily for him.

JD Quinn Couldn’t Care Less About Oklahoma Football

This week we talked about Oklahoma getting punished by the NCAA to the tune of forfeiting all wins from the ’05 season, and losing scholarships for the next two recruiting classes. Don’t expect the man who said all he did was take cash — not like there’s anything wrong with an amateur doing that — to have any remorse for the Sooner program. In other words, don’t expect any sympathy from JD Quinn.

Gotta love the compassion. Gotta love the extensive answers. That must have been a joy of an interview.