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Moonwalking Mascots Crack Me Up

I’ve already expressed my affection for breakdancing mascots on the site, and the following video is certainly no exception. This appears to be from a Harlem Globetrotters game and it’s freaking hilarious. What gets me off is the ability of the mascot to continuously move around without using its hands. Check it out:

Jimmy Kimmel Fun with Evan O’Dorney

OK, not long ago I expressed my fondness for 2007 Spelling Bee champion Evan O’Dorney. I showed you the interview he did on Cold Pizza First Take courtesy of Awful Announcing, which was almost as inspiring as the bee-winning performance he gave at the competition. Well my man Mr. O’Dorney is now making the rounds on TV, participating in a skit with Jimmy Kimmel most recently. Only problem, Evan, as you might have figured, didn’t get the joke. Check out this clip sent to me by my buddy Andy Liu. It had me laughing literally out loud:

Congrats to 2007 Spelling Bee Champ Evan O’Dorney

This kid is fantastic. And heck, if it’s sport enough for ESPN to show the competition AND interview the champion, then it’s good enough for me to post. Here is an interview of the champ, courtesy of Awful Announcing:

Again, congratulations to Evan, I wish him the best of luck in all his future endeavors.

Johnnie Morton Got Knocked the **** Out

I’m going to go ahead and give my description of things before I show you the video, because before long, it’ll be pulled down due to copyright infringement. Let me start out with the following. It was a tiny ass ring set up in a gigantic 100,000 person stadium. Translation — place was packed like a Georgetown football game. And despite having the backing of his native Southern California and USC fans, former Detroit Lions wide receiver and Trojans All-American Johnnie Morton got his shit HANDED to him in his professional MMA debut. No joke. Literally. It was over so fast you would’ve thought Morton were fighting Mike Tyson.

Here’s how it went: Morton came out charging, throwing lefts and rights like he was working his trainer in practice. Only problem, Bernard Ackah fought back. Morton, clearly over-matched, then tried to shoot on his opponent and go for the take-down. It was at that point that Ackah caught Morton with a solid Muay Thai knee to the dome that sent Morton standing back up. Then, with the two men facing each other, Ackah delivered a knock out punch that HAS to go on the Best of MMA Knockouts video, Volume 1.

You know that stunt from the movies where a dude walks into a clothesline and gets flattened like a pancake? That was Morton. He was dropped in an instant. Kind of like a quarterback getting blindsided by LT — crumble like a cracker time. And unfortunately, as foxsports.com reports, Morton was carried out from his unsuccessful debut on a stretcher, wearing a neckbrace. It was over in 38 seconds. And now you can experience the magic yourself:

Chest bump to Deuce of Davenport for the video hookup, via the almighty Ballhype.

And I truly hope Morton wasn’t seriously injured, and I hope he learned and taught many other amateurs a good lesson.

Joey Chestnut Breaks Kobayashi’s Hot Dog Eating Record

He didn’t just break it; he shattered it. Joey Chesnut devoured Kobayshi’s 53 3/4 hot dog record like he was munching on ramen noodles. But oh no, Chestnut did not stop there; the San Jose native tacked on an additional six-pack of dogs for good measure. And this Chestnut cat is no porker either — the kid’s in pretty good shape.

With that, I would like you to meet your newest pig competitive eating slob hot dog champion, Joey Chestnut. A world record 59 1/2 hot dogs in 12 minutes:

Thanks to my man John Fricke for bringing this story to my attention, and big ups to Ballhype for coming through with the footage!

Manager Phillip Wellman Is a Beauty

Thanks to my man Jay of My Sports Talk for passing along this fantastic gem of a video. It’s of minor league manager Phillip Wellman. I would give you the description, but that would just take away from the magnificence of it, ya know? So just watch for yourself:

The fact that he’s a short, stocky, bald guy makes this all that much better. And for my money, it doesn’t get much better than Wellman going Full Metal Jacket on the rosin bag. Oh, that is priceless. It’s a toss up between this, and Joe Mikulik for best performance by a manager while getting tossed. I think the Oscar goes to Wellman.

Video of UFC 71: Quinton Jackson 1st Round KO of Chuck Liddell

I just don’t see it.  Call me a snob, call me whatever you want, but UFC just doesn’t do it for me.  It has nothing to offer.  And it certainly has nothing on boxing.  Seriously.  All the ads for the sport are such a farce.  They’re just like that Girls Gone Wild loop that airs at 3am; three hours of crappy footage, compiled into 30 seconds of the best action, making you believe it’s the greatest thing you’ll ever see (sense any bitterness?).  Until you actually order it, and then you realize that 98% of it sucks, while only 2% is good.  And I can’t even say that much of this fight was good.  Anywhoo, enough of the diatribe.  Here’s the fight (if you can call it that):

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Yay.  I’m so excited.