Derrick Rose Ruined by Gummy Bears

I love of it when players get mysterious injuries or ailments that disappear suddenly. Like honestly, are there that many 24-hour stomach bugs or 24-hour flus going around athlete circles that seem to skip the rest of the population? And everyone who’s ever called into work sick with one of these knows exactly what they were covering up — a hangover. So you really tell me that Derrick Rose missed media sessions Sunday because of gummy bears but he’ll be fine for the title game?

“He eats Gummy Bears and Starburst for breakfast, and Twizzlers and Honey Buns for dinner. That’s why his stomach hurts,” fellow guard Chris Douglas-Roberts said. “We tell Derrick the whole year, ‘Stop eating so many Gummy Bears and Sour Straws.’ But he can’t. … Nobody eats Gummy Bears more than him.”

Now there’s a true friend — someone who’s going to bring up something childish and humorous to distract everyone. Sounds to me like Rose was out having a good time after the Saturday night win and was recovering on Sunday. You can take your gummy bears; I’ll put my money on Jagermeister. Still pretty funny to consider he’s eating Gummy Bears and Starburst to start off his day. Obviously the breakfast of champions.