Tony LaRussa vs. Tom Lewand: Who Was More Drunk?
Now this is what I call fun. Don’t take that the wrong way — there’s nothing fun or funny about driving a vehicle while under the influence. But getting the opportunity to compare the DUI traffic stop videos of two prominent sports figures? That’s a good time, so let’s get to it. Today’s match-up features long-time St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony La Russa, who was arrested for a DUI and struggled with the alphabet roughly three years ago, and Detroit Lions President Tom Lewand, who was arrested for a DUI last Friday.
Let’s see if you can help me figure out who was more drunk at the time of their arrest. Let’s just say both men handle themselves differently while under the influence, which tends to be the case with a lot of people. First, have a look at the Tony La Russa DUI traffic stop video, paying close attention to his attempts at reciting the alphabet and walking in a straight line:
That’s what we call an absolute train wreck and an easy arrest for law enforcement. Lewand, on the other hand, didn’t perform too poorly on his various tests. His straight line was certainly better as you’ll see by skipping to about 8:50 in the video. His alphabet also seems crisp, but things really go south for him when officers ask him to take a breathalyzer test. Even if he didn’t seem drunk before, his opposition to blowing in the breathalyzer is a dead give away that he’s been drinking, as is the way he’s using his hands and not really making any sense. Check out the Tom Lewand DUI traffic stop video, skipping to 8:50 for the straight line test and his refusal to blow into a breathalyzer:
As much of an idiot as Lewand sounds like trying to weasel his way out of the breathalyzer, I’m going to have to say La Russa was more drunk. He almost fell multiple times when they asked him to walk in a straight line and couldn’t even recite the alphabet. Lewand really started losing points when he was doing all that hand talking and rambling on about “false positives,” but we’ll stay traditional here and say the fall-down drunk probably was more of a mess.