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Thursday, June 21, 2018

ESPYs Promoting Sober-Driving

One of the absolutely coolest things about attending events like the Oscars and the ESPYs are the gift bags you get as party favors. I mean these things are serious fun bags, like more so than Salma Hayek’s. One of my co-workers made it known today that the Oscars gift bag is valued at a minimum of $50,000. That’s freaking crazy. How is that possible, you ask? Well, just take a look inside the ESPYs VIP gift bag, which by my loose count exceeds $10k with ease. Awful Announcing did some great leg work in bringing the ESPYs VIP bag to my attention and it was the second item on the list that caught my eye more than all. Ready for this one? The ESPYs are providing all VIP guests a premium breathalyzer from AlcoMate. Nice. Let’s just hope they gave a few extras to Carmelo Anthony, Brandon Marshall, and Tony La Russa.

Oddly enough, one of the other gifts is six bottles of Zaca Mesa wine. A bit of a mixed message, no? But did you see some of those gifts? My favorite might be the one from Chipotle where you can get a free burrito a week for a year. Cosmo Kramer is all about it, no doubt. Some of the other posh gifts include a free membership for a year to one of the four Sports Club locations. To the best of my knowledge, membership to the LA Sports Club is several thousand dollars (like 10) a year. That’s where A-Rod lifted while he was in town and where he goes in NYC. Honestly though, just what a bunch of athletes pulling down $5 million a year need — giftcards to Subway. Please.

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