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Saturday, May 26, 2018

Will Sioux Sue North Dakota?

I saw this story somewhere and wanted to visit it for a moment. The University of North Dakota — with which you’re already well acquainted because of their powerhouse college football program — has settled a suit with the NCAA. The suit will give them three years to get approval from the Sioux tribes to use the nickname, “Fighting Sioux,” which has been the school’s mascot of choice for the past I dunno, 124 years.

Much like the Seminole tribe in Florida, I would only think that having such a nickname is nothing but good publicity. Then again, until Brown University changes to the “Fighting Yids,” I really can’t put myself in their shoes to make the decision. In the position to make the decision however, are Myra Pearson, chairman of the Spirit Lake Sioux, and the chairman of the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe, Ron His Horse Is Thunder.

Now things might get a little sticky when it comes time for the two sides to meet. I mean seriously, what do you do? Hello, I’m Larry from the University of North Dakota. How do you do, Mr. Thunder? Or is it Horse? On second thought, should I call you Mr. His Horse Is Thunder? I’m just wondering why the Sioux get tight ass last names like that. Screw it, from now on, I will be Larry His Thunder Stick Is Mighty. Any references to the last name Brown will be heretofor expunged.

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