I’m sure that having sympathy for O.J. Simpson is high on your agenda. With that in mind, I present the latest twist in the O.J. saga: poor Juice is worried that he might be killed in prison now that he’s awaiting sentencing for his robbery and kidnapping case in Las Vegas. From the ANI:

[O.J.] is said to be a “target” for the brutal Aryan Warriors at Ely State Prison, Nevada. An insider said: “They”re a deadly prison gang whose members want to finally deliver OJ fatal justice. It”ll be like tossing meat to wolves. He”ll be dead within weeks.”
…
Guards have put him in an isolation cell at his current Las Vegas jail after he told pals: “I”m a dead man.” He is also on suicide watch.

Suicide. I’m sure that’s exactly what the American public wants from the guy. At least the way O.J.’s going he’ll wind up in prison for a healthy sentence. I’m not so sure death by Aryan Warrior gangs would be proper justice; that’s just too savage for my taste.

I spoke pretty vehemently in the past when OJ’s original book came out urging people NOT to purchase it. Why support that jerkoff? (unless you just wanted the money going to the Goldman family). Thankfully the publisher dropped out after all the initial backlash and the book, far as I know, fizzled. Well, guess that sign wasn’t enough for OJ’s former agent because he’s decided to author a book due out in April:

O.J. Simpson’s former sports agent of 18 years is writing a book: “How I Helped O.J. Get Away With Murder.”

Mike Gilbert’s book will be published by right-wing imprint Regnery, according to the Web site publishersmarketplace.com.

It is due out in April, just in time for the Juice’s armed-robbery trial in Las Vegas.

I honestly wonder how some people can live with themselves. Seriously. Can you believe such scumbags are living amongst us? And how can any sane publisher pick this thing up? I’ll have to make it a point from now on not to buy any Regnery books.

Damn, my entire costume plans, down the drain. The ‘eff am I gonna do now? I was really banking on sporting a polo and some makeshift manboobs, and just topping it off with a mask of The Juice. No such luck, however. Ben Maller informs me via the New York Post that OJ masks will be hard to come by this Halloween:

ABRACADABRA sells plenty of Halloween costumes that are in bad taste, but it draws the line at O.J. Simpson masks. “We wouldn’t even think of it. Sometimes you have to take a stand,” said co-owner Robert Pinzon. But other questionable getups are fine. They include a presidential Hillary Clinton dressed in a man’s suit and puffing on a big cigar; Bill Clinton in drag as the first lady; Rudy Giuliani with a cellphone glued to his ear; and Al Gore with sweat pouring off his face and dancing with a polar bear.

Now someone explain to me why OJ doesn’t make the cut? They’re completely inhibiting my October experience, I hope they realize. And in other news, The Juice at least made the cut for being one of the state’s most wanted tax evaders. No surprise, right? Well, maybe this will get you — he joins Sinbad on the list. How ’bout that?

Other OJ Simpson Madness:
OJ Rocks a Fake Watch
Juice, Busted for Memorabilia Heist
Down Goes the Juice, Down Goes OJ!
You can Buy OJ’s Not-Guilty Suit

Brandon Lloyd speculates about Troy Aikman’s sexuality [DC Sports Bog]

Letterman’s Top 10 OJ Simpson excuses [You Been Blinded]

Notre Dame truly hitting new lows [100% Injury Rate]

Video of a spectacular soccer goal this weekend [The Beautiful Game]

59-year-old Mike Flynt got some game action [SPORTSbyBROOKS]

Kim Kardashian, actress, or porn star? [IDLYITW]

The Big 10 teams as Harry Potter characters [The Ghosts of Wayne Fontes]

Could we see both a 16-0 team and 0-16 team? [Blown Coverage]

The Madden Cover Curse strikes again [We are the Postmen]

An interview with Awful Announcing [The Big Picture]

WTF happened to Jennifer Love Hewitt? [Egotastic!]

Could it be, was The Juice just roid-raging? [Steroid Nation] 

ESPN confusing Byron Leftwich for OJ???? [Construda]

Introducing topless ping pong, I’m there [100% Injury Rate]

Petra Nemcova sporting massive cleavage [Popoholic]

It’s time for Tony La Russa to move on [I'm Writing Sports] 

CSN Chicago censoring Mark Cuban from Cubs games? [SPORTSbyBROOKS]

The type of female boxing I can get into [Deuce of Davenport]

Natalie Portman a stripper in next movie? semi-NSFW [Egotastic!]

All you ever wanted to know about Morten Andersen [Right Down Peachtree]

Soccer players now emulating seals [The Beautiful Game]

Honestly, how dumb is this guy? Are there really people on the planet more idiotic and unable to avoid trouble than him? If so, please tell me, because I don’t think it’s possible. In case you missed it over the weekend, OJ Simpson was arrested for breaking into the Palace Station Casino in Las Vegas to try and steal some sports memorabilia he claimed belonged to him. Dumbass. Now, (after escaping murder charges), the man could finally be heading to jail for an extended period of time:

Simpson was at the Clark County Detention Center on Sunday night for booking on two counts of robbery with a deadly weapon, two counts of assault with a deadly weapon, conspiracy to commit a crime and burglary with a firearm, police said. The district attorney, meanwhile, said he expected Simpson to ultimately be charged with seven felonies and one gross misdemeanor.

If convicted of the booking charges, Simpson would face up to 30 years in state prison on each robbery count alone.

My favorite part comes towards the end of the AP story, when they say OJ has been a tabloid staple for the last several years. Yeah, good call. So The Juice has been living above the law all this time, has it finally caught up to him? I guess that remains to be seen. I don’t think he deserves anything less than a hearty jail sentence. Amen to that.

(AP Photo/Isaac Brekken)

UPDATE: Per SpinMax in the comments, TMZ has must hear audio from The Juice.

Other OJ Simpson Madness:
Down Goes the Juice, Down Goes OJ!
You can Buy OJ’s Not-Guilty Suit