Larry Brown Sports

Every couple years when the Olympics roll around, I find myself in the minority as one of the few people who really couldn’t care less about the events. Heck, over 34 million people in the country supposedly watched the opening ceremonies on Friday evening. I was not one of them. I was a little too busy watching the opener of a three game set between the Angels and Yankees — something of much greater importance than those silly Olympics you people speak of.

If you asked why, I guess I would say there are a few reasons I don’t get into the Olympics. For one, I’m a pretty hard-core sports fan that’s already deeply entrenched in the baseball playoff race. My viewing habits and interest won’t soon be departing from that. Secondly, for the sports I actually do care about — baseball, basketball, boxing, tennis — the competition isn’t anywhere near the pinnacle they achieve in the pro leagues which have already gone global. Third, I am completely against the gymnastics and track and field competitions (two of the TV darling events) because of the treatment it invokes on the competitors. The way these female gymnasts are forced to train, injected with hormone suppressors and all, it doesn’t strike me as much different from the meat packing industry. And from reading Game of Shadows, seems as if all accomplishments in track and field these days are achieved courtesy of performance-enhancing drugs. Just what I need, to read in five years how all the medals from the ’08 games are getting stripped. And lastly, who the eff cares about some of these events? Sure, I know it’s only once in a while that I really need to feign interest in badminton, but I just can’t seem to play along.

Honestly, does anyone find it odd that somehow bow and arrow, gun shooting, canoeing, sword fighting, and jumping on a trampoline found places in the Olympics? How prestigious can these international games be when they’re giving out Gold Medals for people who row a boat properly or shoot an arrow accurately. And trampolines? Trampolines? Seriously? I don’t even want to guess how the competition works for that event. Honestly, what a mockery. You telling me I could train for four years on shooting a bow and arrow and I could win a gold medal for it? Is that all it takes? What are we, back in the hunt and gatherer state of mind? Give me a break. Anyway, I’m out — I have some handball to go watch.