Larry Brown Sports

As far as couples costumes are concerned, Andy Roddick and Brooklyn Decker have taken home the gold medal for Halloween 2012. The tennis star and his swimsuit model wife went out on Wednesday night dressed as John and Lorena Bobbitt. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the story of the Bobbitts, you can read their very graphic history here.

Long story short, the couple arrived home one night back in the early 1990s and were both allegedly intoxicated after a night of partying together. Lorena claims John raped her, so she got out of bed, went to get a kitchen knife and proceeded to cut off his — well, you know. She then left the apartment with it and tossed it out of her car window. Lorena realized how serious what she had done was, so she called 911 and the penis was located after a search and later surgically reattached. John was acquitted of spousal rape charges and Lorena was found not guilty due to insanity causing an irresistible impulse.

So now that you get Brooklyn’s and Andy’s costumes, you have to agree that they won Halloween as a couple. Bryce Harper may have taken the solo honors for this creepy costume, but dressing as the Bobbitts takes some serious guts.

H/T SI Hot Clicks

American tennis is losing one of its stars. Andy Roddick announced on his birthday Thursday that he plans to retire from tennis after the US Open.

Roddick says he and his wife, Brooklyn Decker, have known for the past few days that he would retire after the tournament. He says he decided to make the decision public so that everyone would know his plans. Roddick is 30 years old which is pretty old in tennis terms, and his announcement comes as no surprise.

Roddick has failed to make it past the third round in any of the majors this year. He impressively won the AEGON International, but his season has been full of early tournament exits. Retirement talks have been on the horizon for Roddick since he began hosting a radio show, which indicated a forthcoming transition into the media.

Roddick’s peak as a tennis player came in 2003 when he won the US Open, reached the finals at Wimbledon, and the semifinals at the Australian Open. He also became the No. 1-ranked player in the world that year, holding the spot for 13 weeks. Roddick never won another major, but he did reach four more finals and lost to Roger Federer every time. He won 32 singles titles during his career, and he helped the US win a Davis Cup.

While Roddick’s career can be viewed as somewhat disappointing because he never won another major after the US Open in ’03, his achievements must be placed into proper context. He had the misfortune of playing at the same time as Roger Federer, who is considered by many to be the best player ever. Federer began dominating in 2004, the year after Roddick had won his major. Federer thoroughly dominated from 2004-2007 before being challenged by another legend, Rafael Nadal, and more recently, Novak Djokovic.

Roddick says his most proud achievement is that he maintained longevity in a grueling sport.

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Andy Roddick played in a charity tennis match against Roger Federer at MSG Monday night and seemed to entertain the crowd. One person who likely didn’t have as good of a time was the ballgirl who was nearly nailed by a flying racquet.

After a long point with Federer that ended with a failed between-the-legs shot, Roddick threw his racquet towards the net and it nearly hit the ball girl who was retrieving the ball.

Roddick is known for blowing up after lost points, and that is even the case when he’s playing in charity matches. He should have stuck to entertaining the crowd with funny impressions, like the one of Rafael Nadal seen below:

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This is the guy who is married to the love of my life?  We all know Andy Roddick likes to have a little fun (see: Serena Williams impression) but is this the type of stuff that Brooklyn Decker digs? Those of us who have seen Just Go With It know that Brooklyn likes to dance and listen to N-Sync and stuff, but what does she think of her husband when he’s up on stage with a couple of wangstas rapping the “Humpty Dance” and wearing a woman’s Christmas sweater?

The Miller Lite in his hand helps explain how Roddick got to where he was over the weekend, but I just want to let Brooklyn know that if she needs a little break from this embarrassing behavior I’m here for her.  Check out this video from Bobby Bones Tacky Sweater Party in Austin that Busted Racquet shared with us:

This guy can pretty much get away with whatever he wants, huh?  I guess when you have a wife that accepts your having lost several wedding rings and replacing them, doing the “Humpty Dance” in a Christmas sweater ain’t no thing.  Today’s list of people I would love to be for a day: Coakley from Hall Pass, Rory McIlroy when he was dating Holly Sweeney, and Andy Roddick.

The more I think about it, the more I am convinced that Andy Roddick is the luckiest man on the face of the planet.  The guy obviously has millions of dollars and his wife is one of the hottest women on Earth.  Yes I realize the two usually go hand in hand, but Brooklyn Decker has plenty of her own money so there’s no reason she needs to be with a guy who throws hissy fits and whines like a girl.

Roddick says he doesn’t mind when horndogs drool over his wife and why should he?  The dude is allowed to replace his wedding rings if he loses them.  What woman would put up with that? Check out this clip that Busted Racquet passed along:

Hehehe. My husband loses his wedding rings and bought a backup one from the get go because he knew he wouldn’t be careful enough with it.  She clearly isn’t phased by this at all.  I need to get me one of those.

Andy Roddick played an exhibition tennis match against Mardy Fish Sunday in Oklahoma City. Roddick apparently spent most of the time joking around to entertain the crowd. At one point, he broke out several impressions in a row. Watch Roddick go from Pete Sampras, to Maria Sharapova, to Rafael Nadal, and eventually Serena Williams. The Serena was the best:

Novak Djokovic’s Nadal and Sharapova impressions are better, but it’s hard to beat a guy who stuffs towels in his butt. I mean that’s pretty much what you have to do to come close to matching Serena’s behind in size, right?

Fist pound to Tennis-X for the video

Andy Roddick may be the top American male tennis player in the country but that doesn’t mean he’s beloved. He frequently acts like a spoiled baby on the court and that turns off a lot of fans. Witness this video of Roddick freaking out on a U.S. Open official because the court’s playing surface was not to his liking:

His behavior in that video is inexcusable. He’s not the only player upset over the way the weather has altered things at the U.S. Open, but that’s no excuse to act downright disrespectful. He needs to keep in mind he’s talking to actual people there. People who have jobs, who have feelings, and who have to make difficult decisions.

I was just coming around to like Roddick after hearing how well he came off on Jimmy Traina’s podcast last month, but then he goes off and ruins it with antics like this. Between this video, the foot fault freak out last year, and the ball-hitting incident of a few weeks ago, it’s pretty clear that Roddick has a lot of maturing left to do.

Video Credit: MrIcefroggyfrog