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Wes Welker confirms Larry Izzo once took a dump on the sidelines during Patriots game

Wes Welker had a hilarious interview on “Dan LeBatard is Highly Questionable” Wednesday, but the highlight was his confirmation that his former teammate Larry Izzo (pictured) once took a dump on the sidelines during a Patriots game.

LeBatard asked Welker to confirm a story told to him by former Dolphins linebacker Zach Thomas, who said former Patriots linebacker Larry Izzo once pooped on the sidelines during a Patriots game. What’s more, Izzo supposedly received a game ball from Bill Belichick for pulling off the amazing accomplishment.

“This is 100% true,” Welker said. “And Larry would be so mad at me if I said that this did not happen, because he takes ultimate pride in this whole deal.

“Of all the special teams tackles and Pro Bowls he’s made, I guarantee you that game ball is probably a more prized item for him than his Super Bowl rings,” Welker said.

We’ve seen plenty of other football players handle business on the sidelines during a game, but never has it been No. 2. That’s just crazy that he pulled it off.

The incident also raises several crucial questions, such as: How did he clean off afterward, and did he even bother to wipe?

In a somewhat ironic twist, Welker was doing the interview to promote his Depends adult diaper partnership. Maybe that’s what Izzo was wearing during the game.

Welker also told a funny story about his time with the Dolphins and how a neighbor in Miami once asked what he did for a living. After Welker told the neighbor he played for the Dolphins, the neighbor sized up the 5’9″ receiver, and said “no wonder we went 4-12 last year.”

Welker also described all the intricacies of Tom Brady’s amazing toilet.

The entire interview was fantastic, and extremely well done by LeBatard.

Michael Bourn’s bathroom break delayed the Braves game (Video)

There was an amusing delay in the Braves-Diamondbacks game on Thursday when center fielder Michael Bourn was late getting out to the field after taking a bathroom break. Bourn isn’t the first athlete to require use of the facilities during a game, and luckily he at least could go into the clubhouse to do his business in private, unlike football players, and even basketball players, who sometimes do their business on the field or court. The good news is Bourn didn’t almost miss an at-bat because of his restroom rush, unlike another MLB player.

Forearm bash to Big League Stew

Chargers Kicker Nick Novak Takes a Pee on the Sidelines (Picture)

Sometimes when you gotta go, you gotta go. We have had the discussion about athletes going to the bathroom during a game a couple times over the past few months here at LBS, but those were incidents that took place in private. A Mets player nearly missed an at-bat once when he was in the can and Rafael Nadal upset his opponent by taking a bathroom break in the middle of a match. Perhaps both of those guys should take a page out of Chargers kicker Nick Novak’s book and just do their business out in the open. Check out this picture of Nick Novak peeing during Sunday’s game against the Broncos like it ain’t no thing:

Gotta love the assist from the trainer with the towel on that play.  He came up clutch when the team needed him most, and for that we salute him.  In a tight game like the one between the Chargers and Broncos — one that Tebow of course prevailed in — you don’t have time to go to the locker room and certainly can’t be attempting a game-winning kick with urine in your bladder.  Sometimes there’s just no choice in life but to go. Maybe the Chargers should invest in some tents like Auburn to mask it.

Video at NFL.com, H/T Jimmy Traina.

Hungarian Soccer Players Leave Field With ‘Spontaneous Diarrhea’, Likely Protesting Unpaid Wages

Everyone knows what it’s like to come down with a sudden case of the runs. Maybe you’re driving along and it hits you quicker than a Devin Hester punt return. Perhaps you’re at work and you have to get up so quickly you knock everything down in your cubicle and the one next to you. Chances are we’ve all been there, but very few of us have been there as a team.

Deadspin passed along a hilarious story about a Hungarian soccer team who came down with “spontaneous diarrhea” during a game over a week ago. There’s about a 0.001 percent chance the players actually all had to take a dump at once, but that doesn’t make the tale any less amusing.

According to Chortler.com, the players likely chose to leave the field in protest of their lack of payment.  The five players who abruptly left returned only a minute later and resumed play.  With that in mind, someone should probably call Guinness and let them know there’s a new world record for shortest amount of time five grown men have ever taken to get their business done, wipe, and return to a game.

Give the players credit: At least they didn’t drop trow and do their business right on the field like this soccer player.

Colorado MLS Player Sanna Nyassi Caught Taking a Leak on Soccer Field (Picture)

Earlier this week we told you about Angel Pagan who almost missed an at-bat because he was handling business in the can. He’s not the only athlete who’s responded to the call of nature mid-game. Colorado Rapids midfielder Sanna Nyassi was caught urinating in the bushes of Morazan Stadium during a recent game, according to Diez in Honduras:

If that’s not the ultimate sign of disrespect, I don’t know what is. I mean seriously, if you have to take a leak during a game, at least pull a Bill Walker, right? Has the sports world not learned anything from Auburn’s innovations on the field?

Thanks to MLS Rumors for the story

Mets’ Angel Pagan Was on the Can While on Deck, Almost Missed At-Bat

Frankly, I’m shocked this type of situation does not occur more often.  People like me who have to go when they have to go have always wondered what athletes do when nature calls abruptly at an inopportune moment.  In a world full of Steve DelVecchios, pitchers would be leaving the mound in the middle of games and quarterbacks would be bailing in the middle of the two-minute drill.  In other words I know exactly how you feel, Angel Pagan.

According to the NY Daily News, Pagan was nowhere to be found when he was on deck in the top of the fifth inning Monday night.  Had he pulled a Carlos Zambrano and exited the stadium? Not quite. Pagan simply had a bathroom emergency. When Nick Evans walked and it was time for Pagan to step to the plate, home plate umpire Mike DiMuro had to go walking over to the Mets dugout to see what was going on.

“I told the trainer, I have to go to the bathroom,” Pagan said. “When you’re up fourth in the inning and you have to do that, it’s just not fun.”

Pagan said he was on the can and had just finished when he looked at the TV and saw that the count was full to Evans.  He made it out onto the field in time — albeit a little tardy — and grounded out to end the inning.  Take it from a person who once had to relieve himself in a back alley of one of toughest suburbs outside of Boston: I ain’t mad at ya, Angel.

Fist pound to Deadspin for the story.

Auburn Shows us how to Pee on Sidelines

It seems like the kind of question a Howard Stern type would ask: “Yeah, I know you have to run around and tackle 250 lb players who run super fast, but what I’m really wondering is what happens when you have to go to the bathroom during a game?” That question has been answered by Auburn which has brought the art of urinating on the sidelines into the 21st century. Check out these pictures from last weekend’s Georgia/Auburn game, via Dr. Saturday via EDSBS and You Are What You Eat:

Auburn Player Peeing on Sidelines

Auburn did lose the game 31-24 despite taking an early 14-0 lead in the first quarter. They’re off this weekend before the clash with Alabama next weekend. If you ask me, the Tigers should approach this game with confidence knowing they have Gene Chizik on their side. After all, isn’t getting blown out in the Iron Bowl one of the main reasons they axed Tuberville?