Bobby Jenks was arrested early Friday morning and charged with a DUI among four other accounts — one of which includes leaving the scene of an accident. As expected, the details from the arrest report are fantastic. The 31-year-old Jenks was stopped while driving his Mercedes Benz SUV in Fort Myers, Fla. at 2:35 a.m. His alleged statements to the police — which were passed along by WEEI.com — did nothing to help his case.
When Deputy Marsha Sutphin stopped Jenks and asked him if he knew why he had been pulled over, his response was, “Probably because I was all over the road back there.” Sutphin then asked him why he was all over the road, to which he replied, “I took too many muscle relaxers.”
It gets better. Deputy Sutphin then asked Jenks if he had taken anything else besides the muscle relaxers. He reportedly had a difficult time speaking, but provided another classic response.
“(I am) going to be honest with you, I was just leaving Babe’s because I hit a car,” Jenks explained. “I just had to get out of there.”
Babe’s, as WEEI pointed out, is a nightclub in Fort Myers where a bouncer says a car that matched the description of Jenks’ vehicle struck a parked car at around 11:45 p.m. The bouncer said he tried to get Jenks out of the car and offered to call him a cab, but he proceeded to hit another car and drive off.
Finally, when Deputy Sutphin asked Jenks if he would submit to a field sobriety test, he said that he would but he would fail it. We’ll let you guess what happened after that. Bravo, Bobby. Bravo.