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KG’s Words Are Not for Ray Allen’s Virgin Ears

Now, had Ray Allen known that Kevin Garnett was going to start cussing up a storm like a pedophile caught with his wanger in a kiddie trap, he might not have welcomed a trade to Boston. Site contributer Chris, who last presented us with Smush Parker’s rap song, informs me that Ray Allen is none too pleased with KG’s choice of verbiage recently. From the St. Paul Pioneer Press:

Word in Boston is that the Celtics’ Ray Allen was taken aback by some uncouth language used by Kevin Garnett during a practice, and he let the former Timberwolves star know about it.

Wait a tic, someone explain to me how playing with Robert Swift isn’t considered offensive, but foul language is. My question: Exactly what kind of language could KG have possibly used that offended Ray so? Is it because they were in Europe and close to the Vatican? Did Ray get struck by a new religious movement? Perhaps he’s seen the light! Can I get an amen to that? Amen!

Charles Barkley Calls 80s Celtics ‘Ugliest Team in NBA History’

Bird McKale Parish Johnson Walton

It’s Charles Barkley, so is it really shocking when he says something anymore? The guy raced an aging NBA official, sealed it with a kiss, and he followed that up by pissing off the entire Bay Area. So the man of many words was being interviewed on NESN to talk about the Celtics additions of Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett (which I admit I never thought would happen). Check out what he said about the new look Celtics:

You know the Celtics, their uniforms have gotten better. And they got a better looking team, because in the 80s, with McHale, Bird, and Parish, they had the ugliest team in NBA history. They had Bill Walton [he] was ugly too. I think their team is much better looking with Paul and Ray and Kevin. But their uniforms have gotten better and their team has gotten much better looking in the 2000s.

Not as if Charles Barkley is the foremost representative on looks and fashion, but I have to admit, that is pretty freaking funny. I swear, nothing is out of bounds when it comes to Sir Charles. I guess that’s what makes him great.

Celtics Aren’t Giving up a Lot for KG

Kevin GarnettIf the rumors are what we think — that the Celtics are talking to the T-Wolves about acquiring Kevin Garnett in a trade (first reported by Foxsports.com), then that would be pretty groundbreaking. That is considering the fact that KG is set to make a ton of cash, and that he previously was not interested in going to Boston. I personally am rooting for the deal, because it would make our man LB look bad, since he wrote that the T-Wolves would never get rid of Garnett. So much for that.

Let’s take a look at the proposed trade though, shall we. The package would include Al Jefferson, Gerald Green, Sebastian Telfair, Ryan Gomes, Theo Ratliff, and supposedly a pair of future first-round draft picks. I’m just wondering if Boston can find anyone else on their roster to dump. I mean what, that’s five players, they still have seven to go, right? Herschel Walker chimed in and thinks Boston is giving up a lot in the deal.

That’s not all. KG is set to make $22 mil next year, and $24 big ones the year after that. Between Ticket, Pierce, and Ray Allen, the Celtics will be committing 82% of their payroll. I’m not impressed. By the way, best of luck to them when KG’s contract is up. At least they’ll be able to build with their youth and draft picks. Oh wait. Maybe not.

- CB

LB’s Fearless Prediction:
Minnesota Would Not Trade Kevin Garnett

Robert Horry: Spurs Would Beat Larry’s Celtics and Magic’s Lakers

Has Robert Horry done lost his mind as my buddy Jorge Sedano put it? Would this Spurs team really take it to the 80s Celtics and 80s Lakers? Is it entirely possible? Robert Horry will be double-fisting rings after this series is over. He’ll have more brass than Michael Jordan. If anyone knows something about championships, it’s him. But has he gone crazy in telling Yahoo! Sports that the Spurs could beat Larry Legend’s Celtics and Magic’s Showtime Lakers?

“We would beat them,” he boasted.

“No disrespect to the guys back in the 80′s and the 70′s, but the guys now are so much better than those guys,” Horry said. “I don’t care what they say. If you look at old films, guys only went right. They turned and kept it in their right hand. Look at the things LeBron (James) can do, Tim (Duncan) can do, Tony (Parker) can do, Manu (Ginobili) can do. Little (Daniel) Gibson over there. There’s no way you can compare those guys. We watched what they did and expanded on that.”

Gotta love Big Shot Rob stirring the pot here. I know Horry’s playing with some special athletes, and LeBron might be one of a kind, but you telling me what these guys are doing now wasn’t seen in the 80s? Maybe way back in the day, sure. 20 years ago they weren’t windmill dunking, but it was still a good, athletic game. And forget what Bob says, there isn’t anything Daniel Gibson is doing that someone else didn’t do in the 80s. Please Horry, that was a terrible example. So that’s some great finals fodder to take us away from the dynasty discussion. Are the Spurs a better team than those 80s squads like he says?

Paul Pierce for NBA MVP

As I teased it with a few co-workers over the weekend, coming soon to larrybrownsports.com, “Paul Pierce for NBA MVP.” Well, hold on to the seat of your pants because I’m about to take you on the ride of your life.

Forget Kobe, dispell Dirk, lose LeBron, heck, even nix Nash. Here’s what I’m talking about. Paul Pierce for NBA MVP, Paul Pierce! How do I have the gall to make such a ludicrous suggestion you ask? Check this out:

It wasn’t long ago that the ’06-’07 Boston Celtics were being talked about as one of the worst teams in NBA history They had lost what, 18 games in a row?!?!. They straight up sucked. The Royals thought the Celtics were bad. People were saying they should tank the season to get Oden (or Durant) and maybe they still should.

But those days seem like decades ago.

Behind stud Paul Pierce who’s averaging 25 ppg, just over 6 rebounds, and 4 assists per game, the Celtics have climbed back to respectability. Consider

Without Paul Pierce the Celtics are a putrid 2-22, which is a .083 winning pct.

With Paul Pierce, the Celtics are 15-21, a decent .417 winning pct.

To be fair, we must eliminate the games in which Paul Pierce got injured and returned from injury, because he didn’t play enough to make an impact. That would yield a .441% (15-19) with Paul Pierce. Expanding that logic over an 82 game season makes the Celtics

Without Paul Pierce 7-75, which according to ESPN.com is the 4th worst team EVER

With Paul Pierce 36-46. In the hunt for the 8th seed.

If that doesn’t prove Pierce is a difference maker, then I don’t know what does. Isn’t that what a superstar and MVP is supposed to be? Someone without whom the player’s team would be atrocious and unable to reach the levels that they do with the player?

That’s what I thought! Say it with me now, Paul Pierce for MVP.