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So the Patriots Had Cheerleader Tryouts

I would’ve had no idea that the Patriots were auditioning new dancers if it weren’t for Deadspin, which also was able to sift through the crowd to locate the hottest chick of all 500 that went to try out, without a doubt. Given Belichick’s dry personality, you would figure he’d be outlawing cheerleaders so as to prevent player distractions. But even Belichick likes to get some strange, so it is reasonable to think that he has the final say over all new cheerleader selections. Anyway, here’s the best of what New England has to offer, courtesy of the highly reputable and journalistic Boston Globe:

Poor Cassel, guy got traded away before he even had a chance to enjoy himself. Sigh.

Arizona Football’s Recruiting Sales Pitch: We Have the Best Cheerleaders

Chalk this up as a first for Arizona football making it on LBS. With national signing day fresh in everyone’s mind, I feel there’s no better time to break out with this story. Some high school players were asked in the latest edition of Sporting News Magazine about the most creative recruiting tactic used by a school. Matt Barkley who committed to USC said it was a box full of fake money with the faces of the coaching staff on the bills, sent by Colorado. He says it was to show how much a four-year education costs. I have other ideas. Anyway, my favorite anecdote comes from OL John Martinez from Salt Lake City who committed to USC. Here’s what he had to say:

I think it was Arizona that sent me a letter about their cheerleaders, that they have the best cheerleaders. I don’t know — it was just crazy. It was a letter saying it, and then they had pictures of them, pictures of the cheerleaders during the game and stuff.”

To be truthful, if you sent me a box full fake bills with the mugs of a coaching staff on the faces or a letter with pictures of cheerleaders, I know where I’m going. We’ve all seen He Got Game or at least heard the stories of the way recruits get taken care of sexually on their visits, and this basically confirms it. I’d also like to add that I knew a bunch of chicks who worked as “student recruiters” for the athletic department when I was at UCLA. Now I know why Karl Dorrell never got any five-star recruits.

So the Kings Had Ice Girl Tryouts

You might be inclined to go with the Laker girls over the Kings ice girls at first reaction, but I might have to change my initial thought based on what I saw from the Kings tryouts that took place recently. I’m not exactly sure what role ice girls have at a hockey game, but I’m all for anything that brings extra skin to a sporting event. The Kings have said that they’re looking for girls that will help represent the team as well as possible. My advice for them: You can teach anyone to skate better, but you can’t teach hotness. Feel me? Check out some of the talent on the ice:

Video: Laker Girl Tryouts

The Laker Girls held tryouts to see which lucky ladies would be fortunate enough to make the team and potentially become the object of certain player’s desires. As we found out, fans were not permitted to attend, but the media was. Here are the fruits of their labor:

You know, I’m not much of a Laker fan, but if there is something I have to give them props for, it’s for having some hottie cheerleaders for sure. I just hope there were a few male judges around so that all the hottieness didn’t go to waste.

UPDATE: Adam Rose of the LA Times has a recap of the tryouts, and more importantly, lots of pictures.

Just Don’t Blame the Cheerleaders

Fornelli’s better half over at Foul Balls picked up on a report from Charley Casserly Sunday. Casserly said on Inside the NFL that cheerleaders will be restricted to only certain on-field locations so as not to be as big of a distraction:

No longer will [the cheerleaders] be allowed to warm up in front of the visiting team locker room or do their stretching in front of the visiting team locker room and they can’t go in the tunnel! The reason? Some players feel they were being a little distracted.

I could be wrong, but I always thought the cheerleaders were there for that exact reason. Maybe that’s why they’re trying to move them out of the way. I guess they’re trying to avoid future Jake Plummer situations. Nice job, Panger.

Morning Paper: Ranking Cheerleaders

Ranking the hottest college cheerleader squads [The Sports Culture]

Your NFL rookie cheerleader preview [Winning the Turnover Battle]

Check out Alfonso Soriano‘s Sweet Ride [With Leather]

All baseball movie team, starring Nook Laloosh [Doberman on the Diamond]

Some really bad sports broadcasters [Zoner Sports]

Catching up with LA Times writer Christine Daniels [100% Injury Rate]

An interview with CNBC’s Darren Rovell [Just Call Me Juice]

Jessica Alba hits comic con in San Diego [Popoholic]

Could the Angels add A-Rod in the off-season? [Obscure Sports Quarterly]

When soccer moms attack referees [Part Mule]

A letter from Roger Clemens to Red Sox fans [Sons of Sam Malone]

I penned a piece about my favorite sports possession [A Price Above Bip Roberts]

Claire Danes had a nipple slip on MTV NSFW [The Superficial]

Check out all LBS nipple slips while you’re at it (NSFW)

***25 days until Hayden Panettiere turns 18***