Criticizing the Bengals for their off-field problems? Check. Criticizing Marvin Lewis for having no control of the team? Check. Calling coach Marvin Lewis and Owner Mike Brown for going back on their words and being full of crap? Here to come. In April the Bengals released Chris Henry, deciding they had enough of his shenanigans. Last month Marvin Lewis reinforced this notion to the media even after Chris Henry was re-instated by commissioner Roger Goodell:

“I’m not interested. I don’t think it would be productive for our football team. You have to be a productive part to be an NFL player, and there’s responsibilities to being an NFL player. It’s a privilege, it’s not a right. There’s a lot that comes with being an NFL football player.”

If you thought that was persuasive, wait til you hear what Mike Brown had to say:

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Typically I would have given the LBS Chris Henry update when the dude lost his home to foreclosure, but I figured I’d give him a break. Besides, I was kind of burnt out on foreclosures after Holyfield and Canseco struggled with their pads, not to mention the fact that Henry’s already been so generous as to provide nearly half of the site’s content. But this was so unfortunate — what did Chris Henry ever do to have his old place vandalized?

Cleanup crews have a lot of work on their hands after vandals set their sights on Chris Henry’s former house.

The bank bought the Florence home after the former Bengal lost it in foreclosure.

Crews came to the house Monday to find trash and paint all over the home and the glass and staircase destroyed.

Ian’s Property Cleanup and Lawn Service said the vandals struck between Sunday evening and Monday morning.

Well, he’s no longer the Bengals’ problem, and the house is no longer his problem, so who did this really impact? Nobody I guess. But it just seems like a big kick in the balls if you ask me. I’m guessing the people who did it were trying to make things tougher for Henry. Little did they know their efforts went to waste. And on top of everything, he’s out of the NFL. That’s just not good.

If there’s ever a collegiate football program at which you’d like to point your finger, it should be West Virginia under Rich Rodriguez. We’ve already acknowledged that Rodriguez is like scum of the Earth in college football terms. Think about it — he had both of the model NFL bad boys playing on his squad — Pacman Jones AND Chris Henry. In addition to Pacman and Henry, West Virginia’s running back from that time, Quincy Wilson, was no saint. But getting back to it, the currently unemployed Chris Henry joined Tim Montemayor on Sporting News Radio and was asked about his relationship with Pacman. His response probably wouldn’t surprise you:

Yeah I know Pacman well — he’s like a brother to me. We keep in touch all the time. With Pac and me, we’re just young and made some mistakes but we’re real good people.

“Made some mistakes?” Yeah, like Roger Clemens had “some” affairs with other women and Karl Malone had “some” kids out of wedlock. Pac and Henry have brought new meaning to boys being boys. Young and making some mistakes is getting arrested once apiece while in the NFL for doing dumb things. Young and making some mistakes does not include about 10 infractions over a three-year span, and being involved in strip club shootings. Why is it not surprising that these two are like brothers? I could imagine them seeing eye-to-eye on affairs. And I sure hope Michigan football knows what they’re getting themselves into with Rodriguez. Yikes.

It’s been like five months since Bengals WR Chris Henry made his way into news headlines for a transgression. If this were a proposition bet in Vegas, it would have long gone over the rainbow. His last incident was for a tussle with a parking attendant over a $5 bill, as you might remember. That means it was only a matter of time before Henry had another incident with a minor, and boy, did he come through in the clutch:

Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry has been accused of punching an 18-year-old man in the face and breaking his car window with a beer bottle, according to court documents filed Wednesday.

Henry, 24, was charged with misdemeanor assault and criminal damaging in the Monday incident in Cincinnati. A warrant for his arrest was issued in Hamilton County Municipal Court.

Atta boy, Chris! We knew you had it in you. And for those of you keeping score at home, half the Top 10 Bengals arrests belong to Chris. Now some people may call that a record based on longevity. I beg to differ; it takes some serious skill to set a record like that. Most people don’t even have enough free time to accumulate a rap sheet like his.

Not long ago, I mocked the Bengals by ranking their multiple arrests by severity of offense. Not only did my girl man Chris Henry top the list, but he also placed 2nd, 8th, and 12th, blowing away the competition. And just as I was plotting a post welcoming Henry back to the Bengals this weekend (he had completed his eight game suspension by the NFL), he goes out and does the unthinkable. Well, I guess unthinkable if he were anyone other than Chris Henry. At this point, it’s kinda surprising that he went this long between offenses. Check out the latest alleged Henry incident:

A valet parking attendant at Newport on the Levee allegedly got into a confrontation with Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry and another man over a $5 parking charge Tuesday.
…
According to the incident report, the valet parking attendant approached Henry and Desious Dyneal Alston, 24, after they parked a Land Rover without paying and started walking away Tuesday. The valet, according to the incident report, said Henry started arguing with him about parking when [Jason C.] Baker approached and tried to resolve the argument.

According to the incident report, Baker told police that Henry came up to him and, chest to chest, said, “(Expletive) you. (Expletive) this. Don’t you know who I am?” before throwing a $5 bill on the ground and saying, “You better pick that up (expletive).”

Wow, leave it to Chris Henry to go to the “Don’t you know who I am” card. Somehow I don’t think that’s the card you want to be pulling out of the community chest when you’re Chris Henry. Still, he has to be awarded bonus points for equal parts courage and stupidity. Chris Henry — you are my hero.

Watching a Bengals game at a bar with Chris Henry [MJD at Deadspin]

Being a boxing ref is not safe, part II [100% Injury Rate]

Dane Cook, so unfunny [We are the Postmen]

Gisele is hot; Tom Brady is lucky [Just Jared]

Yet another reason not to tear down goalposts [SPORTSbyBROOKS]

The Lions are 2-0?! You serious? [The Ghosts of Wayne Fontes]

Lindsay Lohan addicted to sex — that is a good thing [IDLYITW]

Exploring potential replacements for Karl Dorrell [Bruins Nation]

Elisha Manning questionable with a bad shoulder [Strike Zones and End Zones]

Check out Marco’s new college hoops blog [Storming the Floor]

Cribs, NFL scout Chris Landry style [Sportsnet Canada]