Larry Brown Sports

That didn’t take long. The 2013 MLB season is less than two weeks young, but fans have already started doing some pretty amazing things. No, we’re not talking about that guy who rushed the field in Toronto and slid into second base. Instead, Wednesday brought us a dude catching a foul ball in his beer cup and pounding the beer.

Unheard of? Hardly. In fact, this has pretty much become an annual tradition across baseball. Last year, we saw a Padres fan do the exact same thing, albeit with a larger beer cup. The difference here is that the Mariners fan seemed a bit more reckless, opting to pretty much wear half of the foamy beer on what looked like a chilly night in Seattle.

We call that commitment. He knew he was going to make it onto the highlight reel. Might as well go all out.

Another day, another tattoo on someone’s ass as a result of a lost bet. We see this all too often nowadays, but for some reason it seems to retain its shock value. The latest victim participant of this disturbing trend is a gentleman named Andrew Dillon, who as you can see got the Nebraska logo tattooed on his hind quarters.

Dillon shared a slightly more revealing photo of the tattoo (which can be seen here) on his Twitter account to silence the doubters. He later informed our friends at Black Sports Online that the tattoo was the result of a lost bet, and provided some details about the bet to Larry Brown Sports.

“(The bet) was whether or not I could take a girl home from the bar,” Dillon told LBS. “Which, of course, I didn’t.”

Does he regret that he has a Nebraska logo permanently on his rear end now (unless of course he wants to pay big bucks for laser removal)? Not even even a little bit.

“No regrets at all,” he said. “First and only tattoo and it’s the Huskers, which I love. It’s the only tattoo I’ve ever considered.”

Whether it be a tattoo of Dirk Nowitzki, the Bill Walsh coaching tree, the score of a Texas A&M-Alabama game, or a Nebraska “N,” it’s obvious this ass tattoo thing isn’t going to stop anytime soon. Lord help us all.

I don’t know if it’s nose-picking week or what here in the world of sports, but we have seen more than one person get caught on camera digging for gold this week. If you thought Jim Boeheim’s plunge into his right nostril earlier in the week was entertaining, you’ll love what some fan did during the broadcast of a game between the Portland Trailblazers and New York Knicks on Thursday night.

Not only did this guy pick his nose on camera, it almost looked like he knew exactly what he was doing. Getting caught is one thing. If you say you never pick your nose, you’re lying. But it wasn’t like anyone called this dude’s attention to the fact that he was on camera. He knew. He had to have known. How else could you explain that wink? I can’t tell if this guy’s a boss or the creepiest dude to ever attend a basketball game. Could be both.

Video via The Basketball Jones

A fan was stabbed in front of the Georgia Dome after getting into a fight following the NFC Championship Game on Sunday, multiple outlets are reporting.

WSB-TV says witnesses told them a Falcons fan and 49ers fan got into an argument after the game. The Falcons fan reportedly punched the 49ers fan, who responded by pulling a knife. It’s unclear who was stabbed, but reports say one person was cut in the throat.

A witness sent this video to WSB that shows the post-incident scene:

Photo credit: Twitter/FOX 5 Atlanta

When it comes to collecting sports memorabilia, there is a fine line between showing your commitment and creepiness. If you ask me, the Christmas gift you see above crosses that line.

This giant Ricky Rubio rug was shared on Twitter by a man named Dean Pierce, who describes himself as an “NBA fanatic” and has a Minnesota Timberwolves background and avatar on his profile. It would appear that a member of Pierce’s family is one of the biggest Rubio fans on earth. Otherwise, I doubt anyone would have given her such a massive and detailed portrait of the Spaniard.

Personally, I feel that’s a little too much. Asking the young point guard to the prom is one thing, but I couldn’t look at something like that no matter who the athlete was. All that matters is it made someone happy on Christmas.

If one looks up the definition of a fan, they are most likely to find some kind of derivative of “a device capable of blowing air.” Of course, we know better: that sounds more like the definition of a politician. Exchange “blowing air” for “blowing smoke” and you’re more likely to be categorizing a number of athletes.

A fan, as those in the sports world know the term, is an ardent supporter of a team, player, or otherwise; someone willing to don a foam block of cheese on their head (or chest), a person who expresses utter disdain for hypothermia and social mores when removing their shirt in temperatures hovering around 5-below just to paint themselves an ungodly shade of red, risking life, limb, and employment in the process.

Sports fans wear their heart on their sleeve, along with the many untold stains from Super Bowl parties past. Some brand their team’s logo on their arm, an unfortunate decision should the team ever pack up and leave or decide to follow the trend of changing logos every full moon. Others brand their team’s logo on other people’s arms, flouting convention and the law while doing so.

The most select group of sports fans are normally a Stoic bunch: Stoicism in this case gravitating from cosmic determinism to the slightly more modern topic of what have you done for my fantasy team lately? Sports fans have certain unalienable rights: life, liberty, and the ability to forestall having to see “60 Minutes” at its regularly scheduled time slot on Sundays during the fall.

Cheering and booing are the time-honored practices of fandom, along with the various noxious gases that go along with it. Ancient scrolls seem to suggest that Moses might have been booed as a result of the amount of time it took to cross the Sinai Desert. This would be the old-school equivalent of showing displeasure with a pitcher who continues to throw over to first base to keep a runner close.

Bill Buckner thought he had it bad. How well do you think Napoleon was received after his unsuccessful journey into Russia? Hannibal trying to invade with war elephants? And Phillies fans with memories like elephants still hold a grudge against Mitch Williams …

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The fan who provoked CM Punk to hit another fan at “RAW” on Monday night in Sacramento bragged about his actions, but later deleted his Twitter account.

A man named Dario Teyes bragged over Twitter that he was the one who antagonized CM Punk in the stands. He also seemed proud that an innocent fan paid for his actions.

Teyes’ tweets are gone now that he deleted his Twitter account, but they were preserved online.

“Bro I’m the one that was —king with [CM Punk] lmao them he rocked an innocent fan,” Teyes wrote to one of his friends over Twitter. “[The fan who was struck] is about to be a millionaire!!! I punched his kidney and slapped his back hella hard.

“Bro he straight pounced on a poor day white guy. I hit him ran away then ran back and stood next to him cause I saw the camera … Come on now poor fat guy is just hanging out putting his glasses on.”

Teyes owes the real victim a big apology, as does CM Punk and the WWE. At the least, the innocent fan needs a new pair of glasses.

The WWE sent us the following statement on the matter:

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