Ranking the Women of the ESPYs

The 2010 ESPY Awards have come and gone without much to do or buzz surrounding the event.  Surprise, surprise.  Seth Meyers was certainly a bright spot.  The host and SNL star killed it with his monologue and told a great Greg Oden joke that flew over almost everyone’s head.  Chris Johnson’s get-up was questionable at best, but there’s at least one in every crowd, right?

Thankfully, the lovely ladies pictured above were in attendance along with plenty of other red carpet jaw-droppers.  With so many woman putting such an extensive amount of effort into making themselves look their best for the occasion, it wouldn’t be fair if we didn’t rank them accordingly.  Therefore, we’ve put together a list of the hottest women at the 2010 ESPYs that I’m sure you can debate until you’re blue in the face.  Here’s what we came up with:

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Danica Patrick Booed for Blaming Car: ‘That Hurts My Feelings’

After going quite some time without controversy, Indy Car driver Danica Patrick has opened up a treasure chest of gold for her haters. Danica struggled through Indy 500 qualifying averaging just 224.217mph placing her 23rd heading into next weekend’s race. In an interview broadcast over the PA system following her qualifying run, Patrick blamed her car’s setup for the poor performance. The AP says Danica was fighting back tears after the run and you can tell in this Danica Patrick video that she was having a hard time:

Danica was complaining that her car was too loose and the rear tires weren’t gripping the track well:

“I wasn’t flat out the last two laps and I was scared to death flat on the first two,” Patrick said, her words booming out to the sizable Pole Day crowd around the 2.5-mile track. “I’ve never been bad here before. I’ve never been outside the top 10 on a finish or qualifying, so, it’s not my fault. The car is not good.”

In this case I do believe the fans were in the wrong because Patrick wasn’t calling out her team, she was stating facts about her car. Danica definitely needs to get some thicker skin so she doesn’t let fan reaction get to her too much. In several interviews I’ve heard from her she cares way too much about public perception. She needs to disregard what people say and just concentrate on what she does.

Danica hears boos after poor qualifying at Indy [AP/FOX Sports]
Danica Patrick Booed, Struggles in Qualifiying at Indianapolis [FanHouse]

Celebrating the Top Females in Sports for Women’s History Month

March is National Women’s History Month and this got me thinking. We always hear about our superstar male athletes on a day-to-day basis but we rarely hear about the gals.  So today I want to salute all the beautiful, talented, and accomplished ladies (that means no Anna Kournikova, sorry guys) in the sports world.

Candace Parker: Not only is this girl gorgeous, but she can play basketball with the best of them. The L.A. Sparks’ superstar has been called the female Jordan and for good reason — she was the first women to dunk in an NCAA tournament game and she helped the University of Tennessee Lady Vols win back-to-back NCAA championships in 2007 and 2008. Parker is not only a great basketball player but she also has a squeaky clean image; she makes a great role model for future athletes.

Jennie Finch: This stunning 6’1″ beauty is a pitcher for the Chicago Bandits.  She has quite the list of accomplishments on her resume to prove her talent. Finch has two Olympic medals — gold (2004) and silver (2008) — and she’s a two-time world champion. Finch is also a two-time Pan American gold medalist and was named co-pitcher of the year in 2005. Sadly for the eager men out there, not only will Finch not be doing Playboy anytime soon, but she’s also hitched to Houston Astros pitcher Casey Daigle.

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Could Danica Patrick Replace Dale Earnhardt Jr. at Hendrick Motorsports?

We’ve heard for a while about the possibility that Danica Patrick leaves Indy Car for NASCAR. Even though she signed with Andretti Green Racing, she has signed on with IMG to work her next contract. They’ve been shopping her around to all the NASCAR teams and apparently Hendrick Motorsports and Chevrolet are the favorites to sign her. Now if Patrick has hired IMG to work her next deal it’s pretty clear that she wants to maximize her value and the way to do that is switch to NASCAR from IRL. And if Hendrick takes her on, they’ll need to get rid of one of their drivers.

Hendrick currently has four cars in the Sprint Cup Series. Jimmie Johnson who won the last three Sprint Cups, Jeff Gordon who’s currently second in points, ageless wonder Mark Martin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. Martin’s turned things around recently by winning three races, getting into victory lane for the first time in several years. The only driver of the group who’s been struggling is Little E who even had to fire his cousin as crew chief recently. Translation: if Hendrick signs Patrick, Earnhardt could be odd man out. Could you imagine that? Little E replaced by a girl???

(via Fark) Plus Obligatory Danica pics

Video: Danica Patrick Crashed Out of Honda Grand Prix by Rafael Matos

They say that rubbing is racing, but I’m guessing Danica Patrick doesn’t want to hear any of it right now. Danica got bumped out of the Honda Grand Prix in St. Petersburg on Sunday by Rafael Matos. The two were coming down a tight stretch early in the race when Matos tried for a pass. He wound up bumping into Patrick and the bump caused the two of them to crash. This one seemed to be all on Matos if you ask me. Why not judge the video for yourself — skip straight to the 1:35 mark.

It’s amazing how Patrick is always the headline regardless of what she does in a race. This time she was in the right and didn’t even initiate the contact, but she’ll probably be thought of as the “bad driver” because of her reputation as a hot-head. Her quote says it all: “It’s not exactly the ideal spot to pass,” she said. “We were going into the fast chicane there and there’s no room, there’s no room for two people. … I was looking in my mirrors and I saw him. He just wasn’t all the way up next to me.” That’s exactly how it appeared to me. Their loss was Team Penske’s gain as Ryan Briscoe got the win.

Can Danica and Milka Just Get Naked and Topless Already? Was Fight Staged?

Last year when I first found out about Milka Duno, I wondered if she was on her way to becoming the next Danica Patrick. Well, judging by the cat fight between the two during practice at Ohio, Milka wants nothing to do with Danica, and the feeling’s mutual. Check out video of their delightful skirmish:

Video via Deadspin. One of my buddies said he thought the fight was staged when he first saw it. After piecing together a few details such as the fact that indycar.com created and distributed the video, and that the audio was crystal clear with nobody jumping in to break things up, I really have to wonder. Honestly, what sort of publicity had the IRL been getting recently? You think they’re going to make headlines with Ryan Briscoe winning races? Exactly. Something tells me they went Vince McMahon on this one.

How is Danica Patrick Hitting Pit Crew Member News?

I was scratching my head trying to figure this one out on Friday afternoon. All of a sudden this story about Danica Patrick hitting an opposing pit crew member during Indy 500 practice started surging up the headline chart on all the major sports sites. ESPN, FOX, Sporting News, SI, pretty much all of them had this story way up at the top as being a “newsworthy” item. I really would like someone to explain to me why that is the case. I’ll give you my reasoning why it’s not.

First of all, it happened in practice, not a race — it has zero impact on her place in the standings or the actual race. Secondly, Danica herself didn’t get hurt. No disrespect to Mr. No-Name pit crew worker, but nobody gives a rats ass what happened to him, so long as he doesn’t keel over and kick the bucket. Lastly, this is by no means a representation of Danica’s lack of skill as a driver; she operates finely tuned automobiles at ridiculously high speeds for a living — she’s a better driver than any of us. She also proved that she can compete on this level winning her first race a few weeks ago. And to compound this fact, the crew member was where he wasn’t supposed to be, so it was on him.

Again, I’m still uncertain as to why this story has garnered any coverage, unless it’s the media’s way at trying to strike back at Danica Patrick and make her seem incompetent. Maybe that’s it. But let me ask you this: if Albert Pujols hit the Brewers bench coach with a ball in batting practice, would that make headlines? Exactly. Neither should this.