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God Must Love Lawrence Tynes

Watching the finale to the Giants/Packers game, it became pretty clear to me that there was a life force guiding Lawrence Tynes yesterday. In a matter of minutes, Tynes went from having his life ruined — marred by missing the biggest kick(s) of his life — to booting the Giants to the Super Bowl. Tynes would have been hated. Crucified. Vilified. Mortified. He would have been done. Cast aside to join the likes of Scott Norwood in the history books. He would have been the man that cost the Giants a trip to the Super Bowl. Not once, but twice. Tynes the goat — could you imagine the headlines? He would have been done. Over. Ruined.

Alas, everything happens for a reason. The interception in overtime was Brett Favre’s gift to Tynes. Insurance that Lawrence wouldn’t go all Cole Ford on everyone later in life. Instead, he made the 47 yarder and sent the Giants to the Super Bowl. All was well. I don’t know about you, but that’s how I saw the game. I didn’t see it as a Brett Favre failure, nor as an Eli Manning triumph. What I saw was one lucky, extremely lucky man, who got his shot at redemption — a third time — and conquered. He changed his life with swing of his leg. From ruining the rest of his years, to being able to live and breathe without much thought. Incredible. Luckily for him the Super Bowl won’t come down to a field goal margin, otherwise he’d be toast.

Linkage: Eli, No Seinfeld for You!

Green Bay TV pulling Seinfeld to piss off Eli Manning [SPORTSbyBROOKS]

Police using pepper spray on fans at Australian Open [The Sporting Blog]

Former Duke prosecutor Mike Nifong is going bankrupt [Deadspin]

Cardinals now officially the 2002 Angels reincarnate [Obscure Sports Quarterly]

ESPN’s Pat Forde has a great take on sports blogs [We Are the Postmen]

AL players primed for breakout seasons [The Baseball Authority]

Packers come before church in Wisconsin [Lion in Oil]

Marion Jones now telling her tale to Oprah [Steroid Nation]

Manning Brothers Now Starring in Oreo Commercials

The great Unsilent Majority of Kissing Suzy Kolber has already slammed the Mannings for this one. In case you missed it, Eli and Peyton have joined the Double Stuff Oreo Racing League or something like that. I just know that anything with the name “double stuff” in it is somewhat sketchy. Guess they didn’t learn from Carson Palmer’s hot dog commercial. Anyway, check out the commercial the two were recently in:

You know, I have to say I really like the ESPN commercial of the brothers taking a family tour of the joint — that was cool. And the Peyton Manning “cut that meat” commercial was pretty good too. But come on, at some point you have to put the foot down and say “no,” don’t you? I would think so. Especially if they’re going to be running after your team has already been eliminated from the playoffs.

Get Off of Eli Manning’s Nuts

Just the same way many people hammered Eli for his crappy play in the past, those same folks have come full circle to jump on his nuts following the Giants win Sunday over the Bucs. See, that’s just the thing — many people called it Eli’s win, not the Giants’ win. Tom Coughlin didn’t get a win, Brandon Jacobs didn’t get a win, Michael Strahan didn’t get a win, nope. Only Eli Manning got a win. I heard Joe Buck say something to that effect during the broadcast — that Eli Manning, not the Giants, was beating Tampa Bay. I heard people say after the game that Eli got the monkey off his bank joining his brother in the second round of the playoffs. Sure, Eli had a good game, but was the victory solely his? I think not.

I can’t remember the last time a guy got as much credit as Eli has for doing as little as he’s done. He LOST to the Patriots but was made out to be a king for his performance. He didn’t even throw for 200 yards against the Bucs yet he’s now a bonafide playoff quarterback. For some reason or another, the Giants have now become the trendy sleeper pick to pull off an upset against the Cowboys. I’m not buying it. Eli can easily go back to throwing picks and turning the ball over, and Dallas is going to slam the Giants for the third time this year. Maybe then everyone will remember how much they used to hate on Eli because they all seem to have since forgotten.

Eli Manning Takes Five Steps Back

Eli Manning sadWell four to be exact, or three if you want to get specific. But seriously, is there anything more exhilarating than watching Eli Manning fail? I know it’s not nice to gloat over another’s shortcomings, but hey, sometimes you can’t help it (isn’t there even a German word for it, too?). And in the case of Eli, does anyone play the role of the loser better than him? He’s just like Worm rolling with Mikey. It’s great. And if you’re curious, a great deal of the hostility you’re detecting is the result of Eli’s cocky attitude upon being selected by San Diego — what a brat.

Getting back to business, just when Eli seemed to be moving forward in his career, he goes out and confuses the thousands in attendance who thought they were watching a Manning play QB, but wound up seeing worse than Tavarris Jackson. Yes, Eli was outplayed by Tavarris. Matter of fact, Eli’s three touchdown performance — for the Vikings — could have been the worst game played by a QB all year. Isn’t it games like that where you fake an injury just to spare embarrassment? How could you play so poorly at home? Now the Giants are 7-4 and heading right back into typical Coughlin second half season style. 9-7 here they come, led by Eli who continues to underwhelm.

Somebody Loves Eli Manning

Via The Big Lead, comes the NY Daily News report that Giants QB Eli Manning proposed to his longtime girlfriend, Abby McGrew on Tuesday night. And hold your horses, the paper reports that she said yes (for all of you out there who say he pays for his dates). Now that our man Eli’s off-the-market (for the time being), I feel like it’s OK to share a story I was told about him a while ago.

Apparently like all ballers who were studs in high school before going off to college, Eli Manning had a girl from back home with whom he hooked up on a regular basis. So on one of his trips back home from college, he had a rendezvous with said lady. The girl apparently had laryngitis or something like that.

Then, as it’s told to me, a few days later a group of friends including said girl, were sitting around watching TV, when the news was announced that Eli Manning would be missing that week’s game because of an illness — laryngitis. In unison, the group turned and gave the girl one of those priceless “we know what you were up to” looks.

So props to Eli for hooking up back in the day, and for being engaged now. After all, he’ll need some serious love and support from the wife when he’s getting crucified by the New York media.

And in case you were wondering, I checked Eli’s collegiate game log to see when this might have occurred, and he played in every game from ’01-’03…meaning if this a true story, it happened in Eli’s freshman year. Hope you and Abby weren’t dating until after football season of your freshman year!