Gilbert’s Prepping for the 3 Point Competition

You know here on the website I like to keep things pretty professional – no gawking at celebrities, no biases towards teams, and certainly no preferential treatment towards athletes with whom I attended high school. It’s just the basic policy with which I like to operate because I’m not sure I could sleep comfortably at night if I compromised my journalistic integrity.

Now that I’ve gotten my disclaimer out of the way, I will press on. I love Gilbert Arenas and yes, it’s an unequivocal love. If Gilbert asked me to commit a crime on his behalf I’d seriously need a few minutes to ponder the potential prison term before turning him down. How can I so capriciously trade in my values you ask? Well, as far as my mathematic abilities go (and yes, I took calculus, what’s up now?), Gilbert is off the charts in coolness.

The story starts off on Gilbert’s uber-personal blog on NBA.com where he’s excited about being selected as a starter for the All-Star game and talks about it:

I’ve been practicing for the last two weeks for my three-point competition. I have to bring that trophy home. I have to. I’ve been making bets around the team because there’s a couple guys on this team that said they’re better shooters from the college three-point line than me. One of them, Roger Mason, what he did was reasonable. He made 81 out of 100 from the college three. You know, I went and I don’t know how many I would have made out of 100. I stopped at 82 and walked out of the gym. So I won that bet, but we wasn’t betting for money (wink, wink). I blew him out. He was like a high school player compared to my shooting. Then there was a sidekick of his, DeShawn Stevenson. I told him that I’d shoot with one-hand from college three better than he can shoot with both hands from NBA three.

Well folks, DeShawn stepped up, and Dan Steinberg over at DC Sports bog had it covered. Here’s your scene setter:

Anyhow, today after practice, Gil took 100 one-handed college three-pointers, and DeShawn took 100 two-handed NBA three-pointers. Oh, and they bet $20,000. Brendan Haywood and Antonio Daniels kept score. Caron Butler rebounded. Cal Booth was the voice of justice and fair play. Virtually everyone else on the team sat and watched.

Here’s the video, it’s like a scene straight out of Baseketball
My favorite is the sumo-roll around the 2:30 minute mark, followed closely by the stripper move at the 2:12 mark, and rounded out with the disco spin the end the video.

This is Hibachi Speaking

In case I haven’t already made it abundantly clear, Gilbert Arenas is my favorite player in the NBA. You know what, forget the NBA. Gilbert Arenas is my favorite athlete. Ever. This guy is incredible. He is so great that I don’t even need to recount his greatness for you. He is the Benihana’s of Hibachi cooked food. He is the Adidas of sneakers. He is the face of the $0 dollar bill. He is the Phil Ivey of video poker. He is the Kobayashi of burger scarfing. He is the logo of the NBA…well at least he should be.

In the off chance you may deem me hovered in hyperbole, think again. For a quickie brush up, the guys at gilbertology will get you up to speed. Because I won’t bother. All I need to do is direct you to the single most entertaining read available. Ever. My friends, that is the NBA blog of the Hibachi himself – Gilbert Arenas. From his entry on Wednesday:

“[Phoenix Suns Coach Mike] D’Antoni said that after I scored 54 on them and made my prediction to score 50 on the Blazers that he’d like to see what I’m going to do against Duke.

I thought it was funny because if I have the chance to go back to college, I’ll give up one NBA season to play against Duke.

One college game, that’s five fouls, right?…40-minute games at Duke, they got soft rims, I’d probably score 84 or 85.

I wouldn’t pass the ball.

I wouldn’t even think about passing it. It would be like a NBA Live or an NBA 2K7 game, you just shoot with one person.”

Where’s the ticket, where? I’m in. Count me in. How much? Whatever you want. You got it. $1,000 bucks? Sure. To what? Watch Gilbert go video game on Duke? I’ll pay it. 84 or 85 points? Why not 100.

Look, I haven’t bought a pair of basketball shoes since the Grant Hill II by Fila when I was a middle-school wannabe. I think I may be purchasing my first pair in a decade. And yes – I am completely proud of this fact.

And pray to the goodness of Rory Fitzpatrick – Gilbert got voted in as a starter on the Eastern Conference All-Star team over Vince Carter. And all the elves and unicorns and manatees joined hands to dance around in circles celebrating the thought that all is right in the world.

Photo Credit Sports Illustrated