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Agent: Greg Oden wants to play for the Heat

When the Blazers finally parted ways with Greg Oden earlier this season it was for the better. Both Portland and Oden needed to make fresh starts after their disastrous courtship suffered yet another injury setback.

After playing just 82 games in the five years since he’s been drafted, Oden, who’s currently recovering from his fifth knee surgery, is more poised than anybody to start the next chapter of his career. And Oden’s agent says the big man already has his sights set on taking his injury-hampered talents to South Beach. The Miami Herald has the details:

[H]is agent, Mike Conley Sr., told us Oden is positioned be ready to play in December or January “as far as being effective and in shape” and will explore options in the coming months, with the possibility of joining a team next season. But nobody obviously can know for sure when he will be ready.

The Heat hasn’t called but “Greg has talked about Miami,” Conley said. “He has interest. He’s not retiring.”

Maybe somebody should tell Oden’s agent that Oden is (wisely) planning to take the next season off to make his way back to full health. But at least the feelings were at least at one point mutual.

But let’s say a year from now the Heat still don’t have the center position solidified. Miami could take a likely cheap flier on Oden, and, if he can prove his health woes are behind him and be at least half the player people expected him to be, the Heat could end up with a huge steal (we understand there was a lot of wishful thinking just used in that hypothetical).

It would be a great fit both ways: the Heat get an answer for the five and Oden lands in an ideal situation. But who are we kidding? Oden probably just wants to get his freak on in South Beach.

Kudos, Pro Basketball Talk
Photo credit: Steve Dykes-US PRESSWIRE

Greg Oden was asked to do porn after his naked pictures hit the Internet

Former Ohio State bench warmer turned writer Mark Titus did a lengthy interview with Greg Oden, his former Buckeyes teammate. The two have known each other since playing AAU ball together in 2001, and it’s apparent in the write-up that Oden is a shy introvert who values his privacy.

Oden allowed Titus to reveal that the real reason he hurt his wrist prior to arriving at Ohio State was because he was defending himself during a fight with his brother. He explained that he began drinking heavily throughout his second season in the NBA because he had a cousin around who became a bad influence. That detail was a startling revelation to most, but not as notable as another tidbit Oden shared.

Oden struggled when his naked pictures hit the web in January 2010, saying that he locked himself in the house for three days after those pictures were released.

A footnote to the interview adds that “numerous porn companies called [Oden's] agent and made offers after they saw the pictures.”

“I wish it wouldn’t have happened,” he said. “But I’m not going to apologize for it. After all, I’m human and there are worse things that 21-year-olds could do. I just got caught up with women throwing themselves at me. When a girl sends me 100 pictures, I have to send something back every now and then. I’m not an a**hole.”

Oden says he rushed back from a surgery to prove he wanted to contribute to the Blazers, but he believes that only led to a third knee surgery. If you didn’t think all that was enough, Oden’s cousin and dog died.

The former No. 1 overall pick is planning to take next season off and he’s hoping to come back in the 2013-2014 season. After seeing how much he’s gone through, I’ll be rooting for him to do well. The guy has had a lot of misfortune. It’s about time things start going his way on the court. And if things don’t, at least he’ll always have a future in porn.

Seth Meyers Goes Long on Greg Oden’s Schlong

Seth Meyers nailed it as the host of the 2010 ESPY’s. His opening monologue started off slowly but really picked up steam as he went along. The instant reaction from most twitter users was that Meyers killed it as host. Although he had some great lines such as his one about the Kardashian sisters, there was one that didn’t go over quite as well, probably because most people didn’t get it. The joke was about Greg Oden’s penis, which spread across the internet after some girl turned Oden in for sexting. Meyers mentioned the joke in the context of the John Isner/Nicolas Mahut 11-hour tennis match:

That match was so long that the ballboys became ballmen. That match was so long Greg Oden took a picture of it and sent it to his girlfriend … You may not care for that joke but all the proceeds from it went to the Boys and Girls Club of America. That match was so long that the only guys who ever spent more time on grass together were Cheech and Chong.

Meyers picked things back up after hearing crickets initially, getting in a shot at LeBron whose “Decision” show was billed as helping charity. One has to wonder if Meyers’ Oden penis joke would have made it onto TV had the show been edited like usual. Even if that’s the risk of airing the show live, I hope ESPN continues to air the ESPY’s live on Wednesday rather than on tape Sunday; it gives us sports fans something fun to look forward to during the All-Star break.

Greg Oden’s Lawyers Threaten over Naked Pictures of Oden’s Penis

Wow, just when you thought you’d seen it all, pictures of Greg Oden’s dong hit the web. This isn’t exactly something we have been blessed to receive, but nonetheless they have emerged. World Star Hip Hop has posted a video that shows three stills of Greg Oden taking a picture of himself on a cameraphone. My guess is Oden was trying to entice some lady who realized she could make some nice cash by selling the pics to the right website. The first pic clearly shows it’s Oden standing in a bathroom, and the next two pictures are of Oden letting his flag fly. Take your plunge into holy penis-ness if you’re so inclined by following this link to World Star Hip Hop. And in case you were wondering, Deadspin has posted a letter from BDA Sports’ legal department, Oden’s management group. It pretty much confirms that the donger in question belongs to one Gregory Oden.

Voodoo Doll Strikes Greg Oden Again

Poor Greg Oden. I don’t know how you can say anything else. The guy battled through a thumb injury his first and only year at Ohio State, then he missed his first season because of knee surgery, he got hurt on opening night last year and then missed another month later in the season. And now, after only 20 games of the season, Greg Oden got hurt once again and is likely out for the year. Here’s the play that sidelined Greg, aka the Greg Oden injury video:

Hate to say I told you so, but now I have to say I told you so: over two and a half years ago, I wrote that if I were the Blazers, I would have taken Kevin Durant with the top overall pick. I said then that Durant was the special player who could be a 30 and 10 guy in the league. Now he’s in his third year and he’s averaging 28ppg and 7rpg. While it sucks that Oden is done for the year, there is some upside; the colorful personality will have more time for karaoke videos, filming commercials, and updating his Yardbarker blog. Furthermore, don’t feel badly for the Blazers; this might actually help their offense run smoother and put Brandon Roy at ease. We shall see how they respond. And memo to Greg: maybe you should think about wearing knee pads from now on to protect yourself, just a thought.

UPDATE: This was written immediately when the injury occurred. I thought the broken knee cap was due to contact with Brooks, not because of his explosion. Obviously the knee pad wouldn’t matter now but for players who bump knees, it would be helpful.

Greg Oden Sings ‘N Sync in Karaoke, Should Stick to Basketball

Realize here that we’re talking about my favorite pitchman before you read too much into me making fun of Greg Oden for the way he sings karaoke. Anyway, the 7-foot big man did a rendition of ‘N Sync’s It’s Gonna Be Me song (it was hard to tell what song it was from the way Oden was singing) at what looks like some sort of fan event. By popular reader demand via Hard for the Yard, I present Greg Oden singing karaoke:

That dude certainly is a chameleon. At one moment he’s a dominating NBA center, next moment he’s a boy bander. You know, I really can’t rag on Oden because I’m an awful singer, and you can’t rip a guy for being as into it as he was. Did you see that passion? That determination? The best was when he started slipping and sliding around, busting out the dance moves. Besides, anything’s better than the Tony Romo karaoke video. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again — I wasn’t much of a fan of Greg Oden in college, but now that I’ve seen his personality come out, it’s impossible not to like him. I’m hoping he has a monster season.

Greg Oden Is a Heck of a Pitchman

Since he’s out for the season with knee surgery, he sure has a lot of time on his hands and ESPN the Magazine decided to wrangle the budding star for a commercial shoot promoting his appearance on the magazine’s cover recently. Though the commercial has been around for a while, it’s cracked me up to the point where I decided I had to post it — much like the Chris Bosh spot. Enjoy the subtle humor of one Greg Oden:

I love that guy. He may look like he fought in World War II, but Greg Oden is one funny ass young dude. He has such a warm personality and is definitely a guy I’ll be rooting for when he gets healthy. Here’s to a speedy recovery because that big man can sell.

UPDATE: Yet another reason to love Mr. Oden via SPORTSbyBROOKS