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Jared Allen Would Have Bet His Paycheck Tim Tebow Wouldn’t Beat Vikings by Passing the Ball

Tim Tebow did it again. The Broncos quarterback helped lead his team to victory for the sixth time in seven starts. Much like his other wins, the second-year quarterback struggled to produce in the first half before doing enough to win the game in the second half.

After his offense was shutout in the first half by the Vikings, Tebow led his squad to 28 points in the second half. Facing 8-man tightly-packed boxes, Tebow beat the Vikings by passing. He was 10-15 for 202 yards and two touchdown passes. His four rushing attempts for 13 yards were both season lows. That was a surprise to the well-prepared Minnesota defense.

“He lit us up,” Vikings star defensive end Jared Allen admitted after the loss. “I can’t say nothing about that. We didn’t let him run. I guess that’s a plus. I would’ve bet my paycheck that he would not have beat us passing the football.”

Tebow managed to do just that, and it’s embarrassing for the Vikings defense. The truth is that you need an 8-man box to stop Tebow from running, the way Minnesota did. They still weren’t able to stop Willis McGahee, however, who ran for 111 yards on 20 carries. And Tim took advantage of busted coverages to find the open man. Just like Allen said, Tebow beat the Vikings by passing. If he can continue to pass well against teams that take away the run, he’ll be extremely difficult to stop, and so will the Broncos.

Photo Credit: Bruce Kluckhohn-US PRESSWIRE

Jared Allen, DeMarcus Ware Threatening Michael Strahan’s Sack Record

With the NFL threatening several passing records this season, there’s another group of players benefiting from the consequences: the elite pass rushers.

Vikings defensive end Jared Allen and Cowboys linebacker/pass rushing specialist DeMarcus Ware are on pace to break Michael Strahan’s single-season sack record of 22.5 in 2001. Allen had a sack against Carolina Sunday giving him 13 through 8 games. Ware had four sacks against the Eagles Sunday and now has 12 through 7 games.

Allen’s pace projects to 26 sacks. Ware is on pace for 27.

For comparison, Strahan had 12.5 through seven games (1/2 more than Ware) and 14 through eight (one more than Allen).

In addition to Allen and Ware’s record-setting pace, several other players are having big seasons attacking the quarterback.

Jason Babin has nine sacks in seven games and is on a solid pace this season. LaMarr Woodley (9 sacks in 8 games), Jason Pierre-Paul (8.5 in 7 games) and Osi Umenyiora (6 in 4 games) are all averaging more than one sack per game. Even guys like Charles Johnson (7 in 8), Aldon Smith (6.5 in 7), and Terrell Suggs (6 in 7) are averaging just under a sack per game.

When teams pass as much as they have been, it makes them more susceptible to sacks. Some of the masters are taking advantage. It will be unlikely for Allen and Ware to continue their paces, but they both have good shots at breaking Strahan’s record. And neither one will need Brett Favre laying down for them to accomplish it either.

Jared Allen Was My Sous-Chef at Culinary School

Jared Allen is such a character, hearing him introduce himself by saying he went to culinary school for college is not a surprise. Apparently the tradition has been going on since last year on NBC football but this was the first time I heard it. Check out Jared Allen’s introduction on NBC and thanks to LBS contributor BobaMan for the tip:

Please, don’t even bother asking why he said it — it was a joke. Just like this was a joke and this too.

Jared Allen Forced to Change Calf Roping Sack Dance Celebration

The NFL is sometimes called the “No Fun League” because of all the limitations placed on celebrations. As someone who values team or individual, I generally don’t have a problem with this approach. HOWEVA, what the league is doing with Jared Allen seems somewhat unnecessary.

FOX NFL reporter Jay Glazer apparently reported on Sunday morning that the league will start penalizing Vikings defensive end Jared Allen 15 yards for unsportsmanlike conduct if he continues his calf roping celebration as is. The Star Tribune explains that the NFL doesn’t want players going to the ground for celebrations.

Allen only has one sack on the season through three games, so maybe he just was trying to avoid the entire situation. Perhaps he used the bye week to work on a new dance. First they take away the mullet, and now the sack dance. This just isn’t Jared Allen’s year. As long as he doesn’t change it to mimic an electronic device, I think we’ll be in good shape.

UPDATE: Allen says he’ll alter the dance.

Jared Allen vs. U.S. Military Dog: Take a Stab at Who Wins

If you guessed Jared Allen, I can’t say I’d blame you.  We all know Allen is one crazy s.o.b.  This is the same guy who offered his butt to Brett Favre in an attempt to persuade him to return to the Vikings.  It’s also the same guy who didn’t know who the Seattle Seahawks coach was at a time when he was on an NFL roster.  Oh yeah, and it just so happens to be the same guy who thought “schism” was an STD.  So if you thought he could take on a trained armed forces dog and win, you’d be forgiven.

Let’s just be thankful Allen was intelligent enough to wear a padded suit when he agreed to take part in a training activity on a recent visit with American troops in Afghanistan.  I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t want to wear the suit and the soldiers forced him to.  In any event, it appears the dog won.  Check out the photos of Jared Allen being taken down by a military dog, courtesy of Sportress of Blogitude.  Of course, Allen appeared to be enjoying himself.

JARED ALLEN MILITARY DOG ATTACK PHOTOS

Sources:
Here Are Photos Of Jared Allen Being Attacked By A Dog At A U.S. Military Base [Sportress of Blogitude]
Photo Credit: Jared Allen on Facebook

Jared Allen Offers His Butt to Brett Favre

I used to dislike Jared Allen for his reckless behavior off the field (three DUIs) and his dirty plays on it. All along he has been extremely friendly to the media and ridiculously funny in interviews, making it hard to hate the guy. That’s kind of where I am with him, especially after this gem he unloaded at Pro Bowl practice on NFL Network, according to Pro Football Talk.

“Silver fox,” Allen pleaded on NFL Network Friday. “Everything but my backside loves you, but if you come back, I will let you slap my rear end every single day. In no way gay at all, but I will take that stinging pain and I will eat it every day.”

In case you’re wondering what that’s all about, Brett Favre famously slapped Allen’s butt after Minnesota’s win against Dallas in the playoffs. Yes, that was right after Favre led the Vikings in the now infamous “Pants on the Ground” chant. Here’s the Brett Favre/Jared Allen butt slapping video:

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Jared Allen Didn’t Know Who the Seahawks Coach Was

I guess when you’re a defensive end in the league, the only thing you really need to know about your opponent is who’s blocking you and who their quarterback is. Take Jared Allen for example — dude’s a typical mullet-wearing meathead who’s good at one thing — killing the quarterback. Does he really need to be up-to-date on the coaching carousel around the league? Obviously not. As this video of him mic’d up for NFL Films shows, he missed out on the whole Mike Holmgren’s taking a sabbatical news item:

Not to get too technical, but it actually isn’t Jim Mora Jr. since he and his father have different middle names. Maybe Jared Allen was under a rock when Mora got pissed at Olindo Mare for blowing the Seahawks game against the Bears. Without a doubt, Allen is one of the more colorful personalities in the league, which isn’t too surprising considering he’s the same guy who said the word “schism” was an STD.