Jared Lorenzen cracks hilarious joke about NCAA food rule


Thanks in part to UConn guard Shabazz Napier complaining that he goes to bed “starving” at night while college sports are bringing in millions of dollars, the NCAA’s legislative council approved a proposal on Tuesday that will expand the meal allowance for all athletes. Under the new rules, athletes will have access to unlimited meals and snacks through their schools.

Enter Jared Lorenzen, who is by far our favorite Continental Indoor Football League quarterback. The former Kentucky star scrambles around and completes passes at a cool 320 pounds. And as you might expect, he is jealous of the new food rule.

If the rule was in place while Lorenzen was still in school, he wouldn’t be a quarterback in any league right now. He’d be on one of those A&E specials called “My 750 Pound Life.” Limited meals was a blessing in disguise for Jared.

Photo: Twitter/Kyle Scott

Jared Lorenzen is bigger than ever and still a scrambling machine (Video)


Jared Lorenzen may be up to 320 pounds, but the former New York Giants backup quarterback is still playing football. No, he’s not an offensive lineman or a nose tackle. Lorenzen is still a quarterback, and he can still get outside the pocket and make plays.

Lorenzen and his Northen Kentucky River Monsters had their first Continental Indoor Football League game of the season against the Bluegrass Warhorses on Monday night. John Feitelberg of Barstool Sports gave the world a gift by capturing some of the action.

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Jared Lorenzen Doing Big Things with the UIFL, No Pun Intended

Jared Lorenzen is one of those people that I don’t know if we should be praising him for his weight or making fun of him for it. On the one hand, he’s huge. On the other, he’s always been huge and has still managed to have a somewhat successful football career — as a quarterback no less. Lorenzen even has a Super Bowl ring, so what can you really say? Well for starters, we can say he’s fatter than ever.  Like Bartolo Colon (see his obesity timeline here), the guy has been doing a lot of eating over the past couple years.  Check out the Jared Lorenzen fat pictures, courtesy of BuzzFeed via SI Hot Clicks:

Okay, so the man is a tank.  He’s listed at 290 pounds but we all know he could hold his own on an NFL offensive line at this point.  However, it would be unfair if we didn’t point out that he leads the UIFL in passing yards per game with 256.6 and efficeincy with a 107.1 rating.  Add those numbers together and you probably would get an idea of his actual weight, but being a 300-plus pound quarterback in any league is no easy task.  Props to you, Jared Lorenzen.