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Jose Canseco wants to make a sex tape with Tim Brando

Jose Canseco shirtTim Brando and Jose Canseco together in one amazing sex tape? If the former Bash Brother had his way, it could happen.

Brando, a show host/broadcaster for CBS Sports, had a banner day covering Jason Collins’ announcement on Monday. Brando spent the afternoon engaged in a debate with his Twitter followers over whether or not Collins is a hero for announcing he is gay. Though Brando seems to support Collins, he does not think the basketball player deserves the “hero” label. He even threw out a funny, strange comparison to punctuate his point:

In response, Canseco sent a tweet from the heavens:

He then followed up by sending a tweet that said “jk,” but we’re still holding out hope.

Canseco, Brando, together in one amazing sex tape? That just blew Rodgers Hampton’s mind! Make it happen, guys. I’m sure it would be better than Hulk Hogan’s gem.

Jose Canseco painted a picture of Bud Selig as a fire-breathing dragon

Jose Canseco Bud Selig painting

We knew that Jose Canseco had plenty of time on his hands, but who knew he was a budding artist?

Canseco tweeted a picture Tuesday of the photo you see above. He says it is a picture of MLB commissioner Bud Selig that he painted himself. Though we can’t be certain exactly what Canseco was trying to depict, it looks like he made Selig into a fire-breathing dragon, or a T-Rex whose tongue is bleeding.

Canseco despises Selig and has long claimed that MLB blackballed him from the game, which explains the negative (and hilarious) portrayal of the commissioner.

In typical Canseco fashion, he’s soliciting buyers over Twitter for the painting.

Hey, if you don’t purchase it for the art work, at least you can get it for the autograph on the left side.

Photo credit: Twitter/Jose Canseco

Jose Canseco suing Worcester Tornadoes, claims the team bounced checks

Hopefully the added press surrounding the team and the buzz created by signing Jose Canseco was worth it for the Worcester Tornadoes, because it appears they are now getting exactly what they bargained for. Canseco played in only 20 games for the Tornadoes and batted .194 with one home run before being placed on the disabled list in mid-June. On Thursday, he filed a lawsuit against the team.

According to the Worcester Telegram, Canseco is accusing Tornadoes owner Todd Breighner of breach of contract, defamation, unjust enrichment, failure to pay wages and misrepresentation. He is suing for damages totaling more than $360,000.

More specifically, Canseco says the team wrote him checks totaling $7,000 after he complained about being owed money but that the checks were written from bank accounts with insufficient funds and bounced. He also says the team misappropriated his name and likeness and subjected him to threats and verbal abuse that have affected his personal reputation.

From the sound of it, the Tornadoes have finally been formerly introduced to Mr. Canseco. Jose, who recently filed for bankruptcy protection, is willing to do just about anything in an attempt to make a buck and capture the spotlight. The Tornadoes insisted signing Canseco wasn’t a gimmick, and if that was truly the case they must be seriously regretting their decision at this point.

Jose Canseco still thinks he’d win the Home Run Derby

Oh, why won’t anybody give poor Jose Canseco a chance to compete in the Home Run Derby? Screw these current superstars who are trying to steal the spotlight away from him. Canseco’s only 48 years old, hasn’t played in the majors since 2002 and is one of the few people in the known world whose testicles can be identified as raisins. And since he’s hurting for money, he’d just like some advice on how to win the lottery. Is that too much to ask?

Plus he’s like the sauced-up of version of Jerry Maguire. He completes you.

Actually shocked there weren’t any spelling errors in that one.

Jose Canseco was ejected for arguing balls and strikes (Video)

Jose Canseco is having a banner year for the Worcester Tornadoes of the Can-Am League. And by banner year, we mean he now has more ejections than home runs.

Canseco’s Tornadoes were playing a double header against the New Jersey Jackals on Sunday when he struck out and earned an ejection after saying something to the ump. Canseco went down swinging on a breaking ball low and away, and he seemed to be upset that he had to chase the pitch because of an admittedly terrible call by the umpire earlier in the at-bat.

We’re unsure what Canseco said, but it was enough to earn him the heave-ho from the umpire.

Canseco’s officially batting .171 with only 7 hits in 41 at-bats and 15 strikeouts on the season. To provide some context, Angel Berroa, who only hit one home run in his final 324 MLB at-bats, is tied for the league lead with 7 jacks.

On the bright side, at least he and his brother didn’t double-team the umps like last time.

Forearm bash to Busted Coverage for the video

Jose Canseco says he believes Roger Clemens never took steroids

When it comes to people with knowledge of steroids and the way they were used across Major League Baseball, nobody beats Jose Canseco. Since he wrote his book “Juiced,” Jose has established a fairly solid track record of identifying those who cheated by using performance-enhancing drugs. With the Roger Clemens trial getting uglier by the day, it’s starting to look like The Rocket may never get caught, assuming he used steroids. According to Canseco, that is not an assumption we should be making.

“I ain’t no f***ing liar,” Canseco told CBS Boston when asked if he protected Clemens in his book. “I believe (Clemens). You have to understand this, everyone came to me for steroids and information back then, I was the man, period. He never brought it up that he ever wanted to use it, acquire it period. Roger to me was the straightest guy I’ve ever seen in my life, I never saw him cheat on his wife, I never saw him flirt, nothing.”

Canseco is seen by many as a traitor and a rat, which is why he says “Juiced” has ruined his life despite the fact that he was trying to fix what was wrong with baseball. However, his reason for believing Clemens doesn’t exactly make Clemens innocent. Just because Roger never consulted Canseco about using steroids or brought it up to him does not mean Clemens never touched them. That being said, I do believe Canseco when he says he did not protect Clemens in his book. Protecting Clemens would mean selling less copies, and we all know Jose has tremendous respect for the power of the dollar.

Jose Canseco wants you to write him in on the all-star ballot

A delusional former baseball player is campaigning on Twitter to be written in on the ballot for this year’s MLB All-Star Game. Of course it’s Jose Canseco! Who else would it be? This was the kind of comedy we thought we lost when his account was briefly shut down last week.

But here was Canseco in true form on Wednesday night, asking all of us to “do” history:

Of course, this is Jose Canseco we’re talking about, so it didn’t stop there. As always, what started as one tweet turned into a rambling, weird soliloquy:

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