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New York Post calls Kim Kardashian and Kanye West jackasses in wedding write-up

Kimye wedding

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West got married over the weekend in Italy. I’m sure the news really doesn’t matter to you, but you probably already knew about it since it was pretty hard to be a living, breathing human being and not hear about it in some capacity.

Anyway, we wouldn’t have mentioned the wedding unless Kris Humphries crashed it as a hangglider or something, but then we saw this write-up about the wedding by the New York Post.

Our friend Andy Gray of Sports Illustrated Vault fame posted this blurb on Twitter Sunday and it went viral for obvious reasons:

NY Post Kimye wedding

That was so, so strong. Jackasses? Check. Sex-tape star? Check. Egotist? Check. Tacky enough for reality TV? Check.

I can’t think of a more honest description of the events. And I don’t know anyone who can’t get down with that. A little harsh? Perhaps, but who doesn’t share the sentiment?

Photo via Twitter/KanyeWest

Kim Kardashian shows off engagement ring Kanye West gave her at AT&T Park

Kim-Kardashian-engagment-ring-Kanye-West

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West may be celebrities who are worth millions of dollars, but they got engaged on Monday night in the same way so many sports fans have before them. Well, kind of. Actually, not really.

Kardashian’s celebrated her 33rd birthday on Monday, and Kanye threw her more than just a birthday bash. The famous rap artist rented out AT&T park, the home of the San Francisco Giants, and proposed to Kim. Several friends and family were in attendance to take part in the celebration.

As Yahoo! OMG! pointed out, Kim’s hairstylist Clyde Haygood was one of the people who attended the event and he posted a photo of the 15-carat diamond Kanye gave his future wife. Hollywood publicist Tracy Nguyen shared a video of the orchestra Kanye hired playing an instrumental of Keri Hilson’s “Knock You Down.”

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Kim Kardashian looking like a Beyonce clone

Kim Kardashian Instagram

Kim Kardashian posted a selfie on Instagram this week that pretty much set the internet on fire. And like everything that comes to Kim, people are sharing their opinions.

You have some people complaining that Kim shouldn’t be posting revealing pictures now that she’s a mother. You have some saying that she looks great for a woman who just gave birth. You have others jealous of her body and saying that she has too much back.

But that’s not what concerns us.

After seeing the now-infamous butt-selfie Kim posted, I took a look at her Instagram account and couldn’t believe what I saw. Apparently I totally missed that Kimmie dyed her hair, changed her lip and skin color, and styled herself to look like Beyonce. I mean this girl is a straight Beyonce clone now. Tell me you don’t see it:

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Kris Humphries reportedly selling engagement ring he gave Kim Kardashian

Kim-Kardashian-engagement-ringKris Humphries is looking to get back something that he lost as a result of his failed marriage to Kim Kardashian. That something appears to be money — in the form of an engagement ring.

According to the Daily Mail, Humphries may have reached a deal to auction off the 16-carat engagement ring he bought for Kardashian at an upcoming Christie’s auction in New York. It is not known for certain if the ring belongs to Humphries, but the description perfectly matches the ring that Humphries gave Kardashian before their fake marriage that duped us all ended 72 days later.

The Lorraine Schwartz ring is expected to bring between $300,000 to $500,000, though initial reports claimed it cost around $2 million.

The item is listed as the “property of a gentleman” and includes a 16.21-carat diamond with the same rectangular cut as the one Kim K. was given. The main stone is surrounded by a 1.8-carat diamond on either side, which adds up to just under 20 carats. The ring Humphries gave Kardashian was said to be over 20 carats, but hey, that also could have been a lie.

For what it’s worth, the auction house also said that a portion of the money the ring brings will be donated to charity by the owner.

We don’t know for sure if the ring belongs to Humphries, but we do know he was reportedly seeking $7 million from Kardashian earlier this year in addition to an admission that their marriage was a sham. It doesn’t appear that they ever squared up, so maybe selling the ring is Humphries’ backup plan.

Dwight Howard’s baby mama was reportedly occupying Kim Kardashian’s preferred maternity suite

Kim-Kardashian-pregnant-Kanye-WestDwight-Howard

As many of you know, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West welcomed their first child into the world earlier this week. What you may not know is that her plan for the delivery of the baby did not go as smoothly as planned. Get this — Dwight Howard reportedly stood in the way.

According to TMZ, Kardashian had made arrangements before she went into labor to stay in one of the high-class maternity suites at Cedars Sinai hospital so she could deliver her baby. However, the baby came more than a month early and none of the suites were available. At that particular time, TMZ claims one of the suites was occupied by Howard’s newest baby mama.

Kanye and Dwight were reportedly roaming the maternity ward when they bumped into each other. TMZ’s source says they “got along great” and West even let Howard preview his new album “Yeezus.”

As the sign this fan held up at a recent Los Angeles Lakers playoff will tell you, Howard is believed to have many baby mamas. Also, we’re surprised to hear that Kanye and Dwight didn’t bump into Kerry Rhodes while they were waiting for their significant others. After all, he does believe he could be the genetic father or Kardashian’s first child.

Kerry Rhodes supposedly claiming Kim Kardashian’s baby could be his

Kerry RhodesKerry Rhodes is trying so hard to deny rumors that he is gay that he apparently is claiming he could be the father of Kim Kardashian’s baby.

Rhodes, 30, has been facing weekly rumors of being gay, which have been spread by his alleged ex-boyfriend (the two are pictured above). Rhodes, currently a free agent safety, supposedly ventured into the fantastical in order to deny being gay.

According to Bossip, Rhodes sent a text message to some of his football-playing friends to tell them that he could be the father of Kim Kardashian’s baby.

“Man this could be my baby!! I was f—ing her the same time as K.West was lol!!!”

Kardashian just gave birth, and the child is firmly believed to be Kanye West’s. Rhodes apparently is so desperate to prove his heterosexuality that he was distributing that text message.

For what it’s worth, Bossip says everyone knows at this point that Rhodes is gay, so his efforts are pointless. At least they’re good for entertainment value.

Kardashian has dated many athletes in the past, but none have been Rhodes (that we know of).

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Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian are officially divorced

You know what the best part about this news is? We hopefully are done following this absurd story.

Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian officially finalized their divorce on Friday, a year and a half after Kim initiated the proceedings.

The couple was married on Aug. 20, 2011. Kim filed for divorce 72 days later on Oct. 31, 2011, and they have been arguing over the divorce ever since. Humphries was refusing to grant a divorce and instead wanted the marriage annulled under the grounds that the whole thing was a fraud.

As TMZ first reported, a settlement was reached to finalize the issue. Kardashian got the divorce she was seeking, Humphries does not get the money he demanded, and both parties are responsible for paying their attorneys fees.

The process took 536 days, but Kardashian got what she wanted. At least Humphries has the NBA playoffs to look forward to — Brooklyn hosts Chicago on Saturday.