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Lance Armstrong pulls an awkward card in ‘Cards Against Humanity’

lance armstrongIf you have never played “Cards Against Humanity” and you plan on giving it a try, make sure you do it without your aunts and grandparents around. Also, make sure the game hasn’t printed any cards about you.

Cards Against Humanity is essentially “Apples to Apples” for adults. I’m not going to explain the rules of the game, but just know that it involves cards that say stuff like “a defective condom” and “daddy issues.” There’s also a very messed up card about Lance Armstrong, which Lance Armstrong himself has experienced first hand.

Well, this is awkward. I’m sure it was even more awkward for the people Lance was playing with than it was for Lance himself. Good for him for being a sport about it. You have to leave your feelings at the gate when tackling Cards Against Humanity.

H/T Buzzfeed

Mike Tyson may be the last person who supports Lance Armstrong

lance armstrongIf anyone knows a thing or two about overcoming adversity and being hated, it’s Mike Tyson. Iron Mike came from nothing to become one of the greatest fighters to ever live. He also bit a man’s ear off and was one of the most disrespectful athletes of his generation. For those reasons and more, it comes as no surprise that Tyson sympathizes with Lance Armstrong.

During an appearance on WLNY-TV’s The Couch Tuesday morning, Tyson had nothing but nice things to say about the disgraced cyclist.

“He is an awesome human being,” the former heavyweight champ said, via CBS New York. “We’re all human beings, we’re all going to make mistakes. We’re not perfect, and neither is Lance.”

Despite the fact that Armstrong recently admitted to cheating during an interview with Oprah Winfrey, Tyson would not label him a “cheater.” Instead, he urged Armstrong’s friends to support him during this difficult time and help him fight through it.

“I think that people that are his friends should still be his friends,” Iron Mike said. “He’s going to get bashed for awhile, so if you’re truly his friend, try to help him absorb the blows. He’s gonna come out, he’s gonna stay strong, and he’s going to get over this.”

We know one tennis star who couldn’t possibly disagree more, and the same can be said for most people. That’s very nice of Tyson to be so empathetic, but Armstrong is not a victim. He brought all of this on himself, and he destroyed the lives of other people in the process. Not only did he cheat, but he bullied others into doing the same and threatened people into keeping quiet about it. Sorry, Mike. I enjoyed your appearance in the first “Hangover” movie, but you’re way off on this one.

Here is Tyson’s full interview:

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Lance Armstrong facing lawsuit from those misled by his books

lance armstrongLance Armstrong’s reputation is being destroyed more and more by the day. Most of us never believed him over the years when he vehemently denied using performance-enhancing drugs, but the seven-time Tour de France champion still had plenty of supporters before he admitted to Oprah Winfrey that he cheated. Some of those supporters contributed to Armstrong’s fortune by purchasing his books. Now, they want their money back.

According to the LA Times, a Republican political consultant named Rob Stutzman and a professional chef named Jonathan Wheeler are leading a class action lawsuit against Armstrong regarding sales of his books, “It’s Not About the Bike” and “Every Second Counts.” The lawsuit, which was filed in California federal court on Tuesday, said Stutzman, Wheeler and others “would not have purchased the books had they known the true facts concerning Armstrong’s misconduct and his admitted involvement in a sports doping scandal.”

Armstrong denied doping to win the Tour de France in both books, but his recent admission to Oprah proved that he is a liar.

“Stutzman bought the book in California and read it cover to cover,” the lawsuit said. “Although Stutzman does not buy or read many books, he found Armstrong’s book incredibly compelling and recommended the book to several friends.”

While we certainly feel that one Oprah interview is hardly enough for Armstrong to begin earning forgiveness for the damage he has caused by lying and cheating, I don’t see how the lawsuit could stick. Armstrong certainly isn’t the first person to lie in a book about himself. Does that mean anyone who bought an autobiography can sue the author if they determine he or she lied when writing it? It seems like quite a stretch.

Australian library takes hilarious shot at Lance Armstrong

Lance Armstrong Manly Library

Lance Armstrong may have his sympathizers, but those operating Manly Library in New South Wales, Australia, are not among them.

Holly Byrnes, a News Limited national TV writer, shared a photo on Twitter Sunday of a sign posted in the library that pokes fun at the cyclist.

The sign informs guests that “all non-fiction Lance Armstrong books … will soon be moved to the fiction section.”

While some may be willing to forgive Armstrong now that he confessed to Oprah Winfrey that he doped and used steroids throughout his cycling career, the library is doing its part to remind everyone of how much of a liar he is. Those books glorifying Armstrong are as much of a fairy tale as Lennay Kekua and should be treated as such.

Photo credit: Twitter/Holly Byrnes
H/T Can’t Stop the Bleeding

Novak Djokovic: Lance Armstrong is a ‘disgrace’ to his sport, should suffer for lies

lance armstrongLance Armstrong has decided he finally feels like admitting what we have all known to be true for many years — he’s a cheater. He seems to think that by coming clean in an interview with Oprah Winfrey that he can begin the process of being forgiven, but it’s hardly that simple. Armstrong lied for years. He pressured his teammates into doping. He threatened those who refused to help him cover up his scheme. For those reasons, tennis star Novak Djokovic has no respect for the seven-time Tour de France champion.

“I mean, you know, I think everybody was expecting him to (come clean),” Djokovic said during an interview at the Australian Open. “I mean, it would be ridiculous for him to decline and refuse all the charges because it has been proven. They have like a thousand proofs that he’s positive. I think it’s a disgrace for the sport to have an athlete like this.

“He cheated the sport. He cheated many people around the world with his career, with his life story. I think they should take all his titles away because it’s not fair towards any sportsman, any athlete. It’s just not the way to be successful. So I think he should suffer for his lies all these years.”

While I certainly agree that Armstrong is a disgrace (as we outlined in detail earlier this week), whether or not he cheated the sport is debatable. As Ty Duffy of The Big Lead pointed out, doping in cycling is hardly limited to Armstrong.

It’s like steroid usage in baseball. Did players during the steroid era cheat? Certainly. But ratings and attendance numbers were through the roof, and fans certainly enjoyed watching balls fall out of the park. The players may have cheated, but the enjoyment was real. The same can be said of cycling, which gained popularity and roped in new viewers every time Armstrong was going for another Tour de France title. I’m sure the television networks aren’t all that upset that Armstrong was doping all those years.

Lance Armstrong is a liar, cheater, and bully, and one Oprah interview isn’t enough

lance armstrongLance Armstrong is beginning his tour of redemption in an effort to supposedly clear his conscience and rebuild his name. He reportedly admitted to Oprah that he cheated throughout his cycling career by using drugs and blood transfusions. He also reportedly admitted to using before he was diagnosed with testicular cancer.

Though it’s being billed as Armstrong “coming clean,” one interview with Oprah won’t come close to mending the damage he caused throughout his career. Lance Armstrong didn’t just cheat and lie about how he achieved his accomplishments. He didn’t just build an empire of wealth and become the face of the fight against cancer under false pretenses. He bullied his teammates into cheating along with him, and he and his people threatened the lives of others who dared speak the truth about him. As far as corrupt morals go, Armstrong and his associates are as bad as it gets.

In the video below, via BuzzFeed, you can see a reminder of how vigorously Armstrong denied cheating throughout his career:

How much in denial do you have to be to construct an entire empire on false pretenses? Once you get buried in a lie, you fall deeper in deeper in lies to protect it. That was Armstrong, who didn’t just deny that he cheated; he actually made commercials and built an entire image championing himself as someone who achieved everything cleanly. That’s sickening.

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Anti-doping expert Don Catlin on Lance Armstrong’s confession, state of PED testing in sports

Lance Armstrong is scheduled to record an interview with Oprah on Monday where he reportedly will confess to doping and using other performance-enhancing drugs throughout his cycling career. Armstrong spent the past several years vigorously defending his reputation against all cheating allegations. At one point a few years ago, Armstrong was so intent on proving he was clean that he and his Astana racing team planned to hire Dr. Don Catlin’s Anti-Doping Research lab to constantly test him. Armstrong’s team was planning to post all the testing results on the Internet for transparency purposes. The deal fell through for several reasons — logistics and financial issues are a few of them — and Armstrong’s plan was abandoned.

On Saturday, Larry Brown Sports spoke with Dr. Catlin about Armstrong’s impending confession. Catlin, who is one of the founders of modern drug testing in sports and has provided testing for the NFL, NCAA, MLB, and Olympics, said he’s not surprised to learn of Armstrong’s usage and planned confession.

lance armstrong“It wouldn’t surprise me at all,” Catlin told LBS when asked about Armstrong’s cheating. “I think [a confession] would be good for him.”

Armstrong used to boast that he had never failed a drug test. Catlin says he still had some suspicion about Lance as he would with any top cyclist.

“You can’t help but have suspicion when somebody is so accomplished and so over-the-top as one of the key members of the sport of cycling. Cycling and doping go together and they have for 40 years,” Catlin said. “You have to think very seriously about [whether a cyclist is cheating].

“You don’t like to think that way; you’d like to think that Lance and others are clean, but in reality, that’s not the case.”

Catlin believes Armstrong is only confessing as a last option.

“I think he’s cornered. He can’t go anywhere now. I always advise athletes — particularly ones I test and caught and if I get to know them — get it out fast, confess, turn the page and go on. If you try to fight it, you’re almost certainly not going to win. Fighting a drug test and trying to show that it’s not a positive doesn’t work.”

When asked how Armstrong got away with doping for so long, Catlin indicated it’s not that difficult.

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